Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: basking in the sunshine
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I think the problem is with your other half, not the SS, and certainly not the ex.
Most kids whose parents are not together have 2 sets of rules at the two houses. To have different rules at your house, it is really up to your OH.
Most kids on the spectrum have sleep issues, so, to a certain extent, there is nothing surprising and most likely nothing you can do about that (even if he lived with you full time).
If your OH wants him to have more interaction, then it is really up to your OH to spend more time with him, perhaps away from the house so that the X-box isn't there. But to demand that the child not play with his x-box when there isn't anything else going on is pretty pointless.
There isn't any magic solution that is going to make it easy to spend time with a 13 year old with Asperger's. The combination of the hormonal imbalance of adolescent combined with the autism can be very difficult. But in focusing on blaming the mother, you are not looking at the things that OH could be doing differently that would be better for this kid.
But honestly, I recommend letting go of the idea that something will make this situation easier in the short run. It's more a matter of doing things differently so in 5 years he is better capable of relationship with other people.
but everything has pros and cons