Hello everyone. I am not a mother (yet), but I hope to be someday. One of the things I enjoy doing is reading various blogs and articles about parenting. Recently I came upon a story about a 14 year old girl who was cyber bullied for the skimpy outfit she was wearing. This led me to google the subject of young girls wearing skimpy outfits. What I found was a lot of mothers and women in general say that there are no limits to what kinds of clothes their daughters can wear. I'm not 100% sure, but I don't think there is an age limit either. I get that we shouldn't tell young girls that they shouldn't be able to wear whatever they want, just because other people don't like it. However, there's a part of me that is very uncomfortable thinking of my hypothetical future daughter wearing skimpy/suggestive clothing.
That's where you guys come in. You are all mothers or mothers-to-be. Please help me understand what I'm missing. It's not a matter of religion because I'm not very religious. It's not because I was raised under strict rules or anything. I mean, my mom wouldn't have let me or my sisters wear stuff like that at that age, but she wasn't a dictator about it. This is really bothering me because I don't want to be too strict of a parent. I mentioned this on another (non-parenting site) and was called an authoritarian. I just don't get it. Why would not wanting my 14 year old (or younger) daughter to wear skimpy outfits make me a bad mother?
This whole situation has made me assume that rules are no longer acceptable with parenting. Is this true? What else should a child have free reign with? Are curfews no longer a thing? Should I allow my 14 year old to stay out as long as she likes? It's almost like people are telling me that I should treat my child as if they were another adult in the house. This disturbs me. Is that how parenting goes?
P.S. - I can't tell you how to respond, but please try not to be too harsh on me. Even though this is the internet, some of the responses I've gotten have brought me to tears. I am not a bad person and I am only applying this stuff to me and my hypothetical child. I am not trying to tell others what to do. I just need help understanding this rule-free style of parenting that I did not grow up with. Thank you.
That's where you guys come in. You are all mothers or mothers-to-be. Please help me understand what I'm missing. It's not a matter of religion because I'm not very religious. It's not because I was raised under strict rules or anything. I mean, my mom wouldn't have let me or my sisters wear stuff like that at that age, but she wasn't a dictator about it. This is really bothering me because I don't want to be too strict of a parent. I mentioned this on another (non-parenting site) and was called an authoritarian. I just don't get it. Why would not wanting my 14 year old (or younger) daughter to wear skimpy outfits make me a bad mother?
This whole situation has made me assume that rules are no longer acceptable with parenting. Is this true? What else should a child have free reign with? Are curfews no longer a thing? Should I allow my 14 year old to stay out as long as she likes? It's almost like people are telling me that I should treat my child as if they were another adult in the house. This disturbs me. Is that how parenting goes?
P.S. - I can't tell you how to respond, but please try not to be too harsh on me. Even though this is the internet, some of the responses I've gotten have brought me to tears. I am not a bad person and I am only applying this stuff to me and my hypothetical child. I am not trying to tell others what to do. I just need help understanding this rule-free style of parenting that I did not grow up with. Thank you.