My wife's parents were reckless and left a sliding door open and my son went flying and rolling down the stairs. He is one year old. Fortunately he suffered nothing worse than a nasty bruise on the head with no treatment needed and suffering. It was extra bad with both of them being present. They were concerned for his well-being but never apologised to me and promised for it to never happen again (there is some language barrier with them speaking Japanese but they speak a little English). We OK for them to look after him on our ground floor and on the second floor with supervision of someone else but never let them do childcare together upstairs again.
What would you do?
Although you're understandably upset here, the grands probably aren't technically "Reckless"...careless, maybe, but not reckless..which would suggest active disregard for safety and welfare.
The distinction is important, b/c if they were actually reckless, regardless of who they were, they'd shouldn't have the opportunity to care for your kids. Carelessness, on the other hand, is rectifiable...you can assume they don't recall how to safe guard a small tot, so you might explain carefully what they need to do, what your expectations are. Don't assume they just know....caring for very small kids really requires a level of awareness that most forget when their kids mercifully grow a bit older.
Lastly, you can always hire a babysitter. And the apology is a bit of a cultural hang nail...it doesn't change what happened, only some awareness of the actual behavioral skills they require will. Spend your time and efforts making sure they appreciate what those are, specifically.
We OK for them to look after him on our ground floor and on the second floor with supervision of someone else but never let them do childcare together upstairs again.
What would you do?
What would I do? Likely, continue to let them watch the little guy just as they always have been. Once when my son as a baby he was lying on a bed with my Dad and my son rolled off. I certainly, didn't make any changes to his watching my son after that incident. My Dad felt bad and I assumed he would be more careful going forward. I'd bet these grandparents will be more vigilant going forward as well.
Yep. Most of my kids' accidents have happened when they've been with DH or me. Stuff happens. Unless there is some other reason to be concerned about their ability or willingness to provide a safe environment for your son then I'd just carry on
I think you missing how much worse this could have been. These are two recent cases in Japan. A six year old jumped on a bed at his grandparents. Those grandparents left an ungarded window open. He died from a three storey fall.
An eight year old just drowned because her 77 year old grandfather let her swim in a marked rip containing sea area- he also died trying to save her.
My son could have fallen from a window to the ground- the biggest danger is probably impalement although there is a bitumen road to smash his head on. His grandparents have left it open before- my cat got out and he is a dedicated indoor cat. My son must have going at high speed to go down a turning staircase and there was no reason for them to be playing at the top- at the top is a living room with a big table. His grandmother has an open spaced bedroom adjoining the living room.
You could go over their home and see what needs to be baby-proofed. Then help them make the necessary changes. If the sliding door is the only problem shut and lock it yourself when you go over there. Remind them to keep it closed.
Thanks that would be my approach if they took responsibility but it is the next floor- we live in the same house- and the sliding door has no lock and probably no way to give it a lock.
In the end, it's your responsibility to keep your children safe. If you don't feel this is being done, you need to do whatever you need to do to make your child safe.
I think this depends on the grandparents reactions. If they're like, shrug, no big deal, that's a problem. If they're in tears upset, you can feel better about their future diligence.
Ask the questions. How will they ensure the child remains safe? What are their plans going forward? Wouldn't it be easier if they came down to you in your baby proofed space, instead of the baby going up to them?
In the end, you have to live in the situation. You are the parent. You need to do whatever you feel is best in the situation.
Good luck.
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