I don't know where this goes but my husband and I have been having lots of issues trying to co-parent. They're not fights really because he's so 'go with the flow' that he doesn't really fight the way I do.
The issue is that we have a discussion and agree on a plan but then he throws that out the window whenever it gets tough to stick with the plan and he just does what's easy or he does whatever is his habit. In other words, he's not goal-oriented in his parenting. He just runs around and puts out fires.
I feel like he's constantly undermining my parenting work and making things more difficult for me. Here's an example: we agreed that our son must get ready for school on weekday mornings before he is allowed to use a screen like watch TV or play a game on the computer. But then this morning my son is playing a computer game in his PJs. He hasn't brushed his teeth or put on clothes or anything. And to make matters worse, he's not being supervised and there is inappropriate content (another users' avatar was anime porn). This happens about 40% of the time - on the days that I wake up later than they wake up. I was livid and went off on my husband. He did his usual "lets talk about it later."
So know I know what is going to happen: we're going to talk and agree again on the original plan plus more supervision but then my husband is going to throw it out the window again because he 'forgot' or 'got busy' or 'it's hard to break habits' or whatever.
I've told him he should just leave early and come home late on weekdays so I can be the parent on weekdays and he can be the 'fun dad' on the weekends. But that never works - my husband sets his own schedule and is a home-body and so any agreement about saying out of the weekday routines never actually works. I'm so frustrated at this point I feel like we would be better parenting in separate homes.
I'm just so fed up - nearly everything is like this. We agree on a plan for bedtime or hygiene or homework etc and the plan always gets ignored.
Does anyone have advice?
The issue is that we have a discussion and agree on a plan but then he throws that out the window whenever it gets tough to stick with the plan and he just does what's easy or he does whatever is his habit. In other words, he's not goal-oriented in his parenting. He just runs around and puts out fires.
I feel like he's constantly undermining my parenting work and making things more difficult for me. Here's an example: we agreed that our son must get ready for school on weekday mornings before he is allowed to use a screen like watch TV or play a game on the computer. But then this morning my son is playing a computer game in his PJs. He hasn't brushed his teeth or put on clothes or anything. And to make matters worse, he's not being supervised and there is inappropriate content (another users' avatar was anime porn). This happens about 40% of the time - on the days that I wake up later than they wake up. I was livid and went off on my husband. He did his usual "lets talk about it later."
So know I know what is going to happen: we're going to talk and agree again on the original plan plus more supervision but then my husband is going to throw it out the window again because he 'forgot' or 'got busy' or 'it's hard to break habits' or whatever.
I've told him he should just leave early and come home late on weekdays so I can be the parent on weekdays and he can be the 'fun dad' on the weekends. But that never works - my husband sets his own schedule and is a home-body and so any agreement about saying out of the weekday routines never actually works. I'm so frustrated at this point I feel like we would be better parenting in separate homes.
I'm just so fed up - nearly everything is like this. We agree on a plan for bedtime or hygiene or homework etc and the plan always gets ignored.
Does anyone have advice?