DH and I both like to sleep in, neither of us are morning people. Saturdays I get up with DS while DH sleeps, then Sundays he gets up while I sleep. So, this morning (Sunday) DS woke up very early (6:45). DH got up with him, I got up at 9:30. I came into the living room where DH and DS were and said to DH, "Do you want to go back to bed?" He said, "No, I've been trying to sleep here on the couch and haven't had any luck."
I was like,
So, I ask you - do you take naps while your children are awake? I do not - DS is 21 months old and I think he needs more supervision than that. My house is childproof but not 100%, not enough that I trust him to roam around totally unsupervised. What if he started to choke or something? DH was pretty defensive, he thought I was criticizing his parenting and I guess I was. I was pretty shocked to hear that he was actively trying to nap while DS was awake and solely in his care. Am I overreacting?
If this is bugging you, which I know it is, you need to have a nice heart to heart with dh and explain why you don't want him to sleep while he supervises ds. My dh and I have the same arrangement and the one that gets up early always plays, feeds breakfast while the other sleeps. Then that person usually crashes on the couch during naptime!!!!
Heather , momma to ' Parker- 10, Carlee- 7 and our baby Genevieve Faith - 8-27-10
Your husband may have been trying to "nap", but had his sensors on high alert - that is why he never got back to sleep!
Still, in theory it seems totally unfair for him to nap while he is on child care duty - no matter how safe the environment!
And, I admit, there have been a couple of times where I have been so sleep deprived, that I have dozed off while down on the floor playing with ds. Only for a few seconds, and both times we were on the floor of his room, and I believe I would have known if he went to another room.
Deliberately trying to nap while he let me sleep in--well, I think I also would have a problem with that. Not just because of getting things around the house, but also letting himself out of the house (he can unlock doors with the key now).
breastfeeding, babywearing, homeschooling Heathen parent to my little Wanderer, 7 1/2 , and baby Elf-stone, 3/11!
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
You should be glad your husband could not get to sleep. He was "intuned" to your child. Be happy.
There is a compromise to this. It is baby proofing a room and childgates.
My husband works night shift and a second job. The times that I have had no choice in leaving wake children (that small) with him we have gated them. If he would happen to fall asleep they would still be in a safe envorment. (I also did this when I got very ill.)
I would dicuss making this situation safe not attack him because you don't like it.
Having a busy box that your child can only get at these tired momments might also help keep things safe.
I will also admit that when I was pregnant with my second child my first got plopped infront of TV (Magic School Bus) for a half hour so I could nap. That little cat nap made me a much more plesant person. I do think your child can "survive" this since it is not an everyday occurance.
I've been going to bed with dd (6mo) and dh has been staying up a little later with ds. Dh has started falling asleep while watching ds (At night) and I am just not comfortible with it at all. ds is 3yo and that is very different from 21mo! but I worry about him then falling asleep on the floor and being cold or soemthing (he is past the getting into things stange, and there is really nothing he could get into, though it's still not safe, IMO.)
For some reason mornings seem different to me. I don't mind if ds wakes up in the morning and I get up and lay on the couch and sleep a little while he plays on the floor (or *gasp* watches a little tv -though he doesn't like tv much.) I am in my waking up mode, but it may take me a while as I haven't gotten enough sleep at that point. I am right there and I am not deeply sleeping, and I am a very light sleeper. I trust ds ni this situation. I'm not sure I would feel the same way if it were dh watching him though. I don't think he has the same alertness as I do right now.
We live in a small one-bedroom apartment that is basically child-proofed. When DD wakes up in the am, sometimes she'll sit out in the living room (basically, right outside our bedroom) and watch cartoons, while I go back to bed. I do sleep light, and wake any time I hear her call out to me. I wouldn't have done this when she was younger, but we've been doing it since she was about 20 months old. I would feel even less concerned if DH or I were sleeping out on the sofa, but he is as light a sleeper as I am when it comes to DD.
I guess it depends on the setup of your home. I know there is nothing for DD to get into, and she is just so predictable anyways. She hangs out by the TV and coffee table, where all her toys and crayons and books are. Not that there is much else to our place other than the living room, lol.
Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)
Our house is pretty childproof. Maybe I'm just being paranoid. The thing is DS does get into things, he can't be totally depended on to sit and play with his toys or draw or watch tv. I can totally see him wandering around and finding a fork on the floor from dinner last night and sticking it in an outlet that someone forgot to put the cover back on. He likes to put things around his neck, what if he wrapped a shirt sleeve around his neck and got caught on something and choked. Or something got stuck in his throat. Or he opened the back door and wandered off. An awake caregiver can react to these situations immediately. I don't even know how long it would take me to wake up and realize something is wrong.
I haven't read the other posts yet, so I might be out of tune... I admit I do sleep sometimes when dd is awake. The only moments that this has happened was when she woke up at night, really woke up, and wanted to play. In which case I simply put her out of my bed, she would play for a while, and then come to bed when she'd be tired again. That was mostly when she was too young to climb in bed on her own (well, from 10 months to 13 months or so). Now she is 17 months, and it didn't happen again, although I wouldn't hesitate to nap while she'd be playing. I trust her enough to know what is dangerous and what not. She's been playing with little rocks for months, smaller ones even, and hasn't ever thought of choking on any of them. Moreover, I'm sure I'd wake up... it's not a full deep sleep that I'm in in such occasions...
With DD2, now 8 months, it doesn't quite work the same way, but I put her in the crib next to the bed for her to play until she starts crying, at which point I get her.
Being able to sleep after the kiddos wake up is part of keeping my sanity. I am not saying that everyone should do it, but it works for us.