Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: snugglin' my babes in eugene!
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I just read this whole thread for the first time tonight and I find it really fascinating, as a new member and as someone interested in human behavior.
Shann, I was horrified to hear what happened to your boys. I know you must be emotionally exhausted firstly over just experiencing and processing the whole experience within your family. Then to come here and read all the posts of people processing, discussing and sometimes being critical of the situation must compound the stress.
I sure can't speak for the others, but it is my strong sense that we all are appalled by what happened to your family, and are trying to imagine how we might deal with such a situation in our own lives, but of course, none of us are in your shoes.
(Having a mother who might do something similar,) I can only imagine how incredibly livid and reactionary I might be in this case, I'm certain I would WANT to do something like using profanity and venting by sending the picture. I hope however, I would breathe and model the kind of behavior that I would want to teach my children and also my MIL.
However, IT DOESN'T MATTER what I think I would do. The point being that I honor you as a mother and I know you are doing your best with your children the circumstances you've been dealt. That is all you can be expected to do.
What I mean is, The purpose of this forum is to support each other yes, but also to discuss amongst ourselves issues relevant to our lives and mothering with individuals from places far and wide,who may be very different from us and who may have opinions and experiences very different from our own. How cool is that???? VERY! Then we get to solicit advice, comments, suggestions, just like you did with your post. It seems important then, to weigh the input you receive against our own truth and reality, and act from there.
I love it that everybody gets to speak their mind here,I think it is fascinating and wonderful to hear all of how all of us respond to such a provocative issue. I do realize it can be challenging to stay removed enough that criticism doesn't affect you,especially when the subject is so personal and raw to you, it must be difficult to remember that although this virtual illusion is wonderfully created, that in fact , these people aren't your best friends and may choose to run their lives in very similar but also different ways! There are very wise and wonderful women here, but all of us are just doing the best we know how.
I hope, sweet Shann, that you are able to do just that. Weigh the input you get here, carefully and heartfully against your own truth, and continue to be the best mother you know how. Dismiss what is hurtful to you as coming from someone who, although well intentioned, does not stand in your shoes.
Peace and All Blessings to you!
Happy, busy mama of 2 - A (9/05) and W (2/08)
Acupuncturist to pregnant and post partum mamas!