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#1 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello - I have a week old and I have been reading about Attachment Parenting. I am having a hard time with only one part. I haven't found a sling that works for me yet, so I hold Zach most of the day, but there are times I have to put him down and I have been feeling guilty. Also, we received a swing as a gift and he seems to like it for short periods of time. I put him in it when I shower and when I'm cooking. I always have it in the room with me when he is in it. What are peoples feelings and thoughts about this? How much time during the day do you use your sling? When not in the sling, do you hold your baby the rest of the time? I don't want to do anything detrimental. Thanks for your thoughts on this.
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#2 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 03:25 PM
 
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jmann1- First of all, congrats on your new babe!!!
Secondly, RELAX!! Listen to your instincts and to your baby and you'll do just fine! There are no AP rules that you must adhere to. Please, don't worry that putting your babe in a swing while you shower is going to somehow be detrimental. You can certainly use a swing (and other assorted "non-AP" gadgetry) in a gentle, AP way. Use it in moderation, as you are doing. Don't feel guilty if you can't keep your baby in arms 24/7- balance is key to attachment parenting.
Good luck on finding a sling that works well for you as they make life SOOOOO much easier. Give it time and have some patience getting comfortable with a new sling. I don't think they necessarily feel natural the first time you try one on but after a little practice they can become like a part of your body, a second set of arms. Watch a video on the different ways to wear your babe if you can. This can help. Trying different postions and making sure that you wear your child high enough can also help a lot.
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#3 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 03:39 PM
 
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Congrats, , and to second NewMa, relax! You are doing great! My baby loves her swing for naps, and I used to put her in her bouncy seat while I showered and/or cooked. It's fine! As long as Zach is happy in them and you are meeting his needs, you are being AP.

Regarding slings, I can recommend several good resources. If you go to http://www.kangarookorner.com you can compare different kinds to find one that best suits your preferences. Regardless of what kind you have, the QuickTime videos at http://www.mayawrap.com can be helpful. If you can find a La Leche League meeting in your area (http://www.lalecheleague.org) you will almost certainly find one or many babywearing experts. There is a Yahoo Group called babyslings (http://groups.yahoo.com/group/babyslings) with helpful discussions. And, Maya Wrap has a Topica list called mwbabywearing (search for it at http://www.topica.com) with lots of discussions. Of course, you can also start threads here with questions!

You are doing great! Trust yourself and follow your instincts! {{{HUGS}}}.

Analisa, Mama to Meg 12/12/01, Patrick 12/24/03, Catherine 12/24/03, Ben 2/26/06
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#4 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 06:16 PM
 
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Hi and CONGRATULATION
When I read about attachment parenting before my beautiful babe was born It was so natural and felt so right. Just what the other mammas are saying relax do whats natural. I put my lil girl down in her bouncy seat to use the lil girls room or shower or cook also...she was right there with me. Sounds like your full of love so relax, smile and enjoy your babe
peace and love......peacefulmom
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#5 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 07:04 PM
 
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Like the other moms I used swings, bouncy seats, saucer so I could shower or unload groceries etc. The sling can take awhile to get used to. I had mine a month before I was brave enough to leave the house with it!! I held my ds alot because he needed it and I loved it. Now that he is a turbo crawler I miss holding him!

You are doing great! Trust your instincts!!



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#6 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 07:44 PM
 
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Congratulations. As the others have said, relax and enjoy.

I just finished reading the Continuum Concept, and felt bad that I did not hold my baby constantly early on. But that society differs from ours; when mom bathes, there's an older kid, or her mother right there. We don't have those luxuries.

I had a little seat for her where she sat in the bathroom when I washed my hair, if I went to the kitchen I had a swing chair for her that I used after she was 3 months old (we ate takeout until then). And she had a mobile that she absolutely loved lying under, punching and kicking at - she slept better at night when I started using it and worse on nights when we didn't use it.

As long as they are used in moderation (or maybe minimation), in tune with your baby's response, IMHO, what matters is that you are in tune with your baby and get lots of overall carrying and contact, as well as attention.

A few days ago my Dd discovered she can crawl after me anywhere. (Having read that book, I decided to open some of our gates and trust her a little more around our obstacle course). She loved the power. Today she discovered she can choose not to. She seemed thrilled with the idea of sitting in the hall examining the rug pattern while I was in the kitchen. But suddenly she was overwhelmed with the idea that she could choose, and she's been clinging the rest of the day. I'm holding her a lot, and I bet that tomorrow she'll be courageous again. That's off the topic, but AP is about reading your baby, not following rules.
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#7 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 09:01 PM
 
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I agree with the others and just wanted to offer my support. I needed the swing because Abi had bad colic all night and it was the only way she would sleep sometimes (even holding her didn't work). Then when we passed that phase she spent a lot of time after feedings in her carseat because of reflux, and I also used it to set on the counter to cook and wash while I talked to her. When she was too old for the swing I bought an exersaucer that was useful for when I wanted to shower or open the hot oven or that sort of thing.

She was in the sling for about 3-4 hours a day including some nights when I would sleep with her in the sling and me sitting on the sofa with my legs propped up. I had contantly engorged breasts during my whole pumping period (4 mos.) so didn't wear the sling as often as I might have otherwise. It took me awhile to get the hang of it but now at 19 mos. old I still don't ever leave home without it.

I gave Abi lots of floor time as soon as she was holding her head up and rolling over. I think it's good for them to sometimes have playtime to exercise. I would let her be on the floor for 20 minutes, then in my sling for about 20-30, then back on the floor, and that's pretty much how we spent our days in the early months.

Just let your baby tell you how often he wants to be held. Your own baby will be the best parenting teacher you'll ever had, and AP will give you the tools and bonding to listen to him and respond.

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#8 of 14 Old 07-22-2002, 09:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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THANK YOU SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO RESPONDED!! I really appreciate all your help and advice. What a great resource this site is!! Thanks again..... Jill
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#9 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 12:17 AM
 
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As for the slings, I'm curious which one (or ones) you have tried. I am the resident "sling expert" at my Bfing support group and have helped countless women figure it out. Most people in my area use the OTSBH, simply because LLL sells them. That happens to be what I use, but I'd love to find some other used ones so that I could have a variety to show people but I don't have that kind of money. I'd especially love to have a Maya wrap. I have envy over that sling with out the padding.

Slinging takes a lot of practice. Get help from someone who has done it, and be sure that if your sling comes in different sizes, that you have the right size. The girl who sold me mine was sure that I was a regular. It just didn't work, but when I tried on the petite (even though I don't quite fit into the size range) it was so much better.
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#10 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 10:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello JBCMom,

Thanks so much for your post. When re-reading my post I noticed a typo-o. I put that my son was a week old and I meant 5 weeks old. I don't know if that makes a difference. Oooops.

The sling that I have is the New Native, but just yesterday I ordered the OTSBH. I was debating whether I should get the OTSBH or the Maya Wrap. Hopefully I chose the right one.

I looked through the all the boarda and noticed that both the OTSBH and the Maya Wrap were mentioned a lot.

I don't know anyone else who uses a sling. I actually am the 1st person to have a baby that is in my group of friends so I think they will be depending on me for advice in the future .

Thanks again for your post!
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#11 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 11:08 AM
 
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Jmann1, definitely take the advice to go to a La Leche League meeting. There's got to be a few near you since you're in Portland. That's where you'll meet the sling wearers, the breastfeeders, the co-sleepers, the AP parents in general. It is always nice to have other people around who do what you do. At the very least, it's nice to have people to complain to who won't tell you to stop doing what you're doing. Raising a baby is wonderful, but it's hard, and we all need support!
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#12 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 11:10 AM
 
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jmann1 - just wanted to note that the New Native sling may not be the right size if you and baby can't make it work. Alternatively, some people find that that type of sling is better for when babies are older and enjoy the hip carry. I think you'll find the OTSBH great once you get the hang of it. It's adjustable so you should be able to get baby nice and snug and you can use many different positions. There is a learning curve with all slings, though, so don't be discouraged if it doesn't work the first day
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#13 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 04:12 PM
 
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I'm going to give you the tip that really worked for me with my OTSBH, which I love by the way. Most people will show you how to lay your infant in the sling, I could never get the hang of that. He somehow never seemed to be in a comfortable position. I began slinging with #2 at three days old and this worked with him from the start.

Put the sling on with the padding on whichever shoulder you are handed (ie: if you are right handed it goes on your right shoulder.) It may seem strange at first but it really works better for most people. Have the rings slightly in front of the top of your shoulder. Try and have the rails (the pads) folded to the inside when you put it on. This will be easier to work with and will feel better across your back.

Then pick up your baby and hold him up against your shoulder facing away from you. His back with be against your chest, preferably high up on your chest and you will have his legs crossed in front of him. Basically you will be holding him by his legs and bottom. For me this meant that I was holding him with my left hand against the upper portion of my left chest. Then I would pull the sling out with my right hand and lower my son into the sling in a seated position. From here you can lean him to the left or the right and tighten the sling to your comfort. My son's favorite position was seated with a slight recline so that his head was leaning against the rings. I wrapped them in a cloth diaper to make it softer.

If you want to tighten only the top rail of the sling to hold it closer to you, pull on the fabric on the left side just below the rings. Pulling that material will pull the rail tighter and keep the babe closer to your body. I don't know how tall you are, or what size you bought, but if when you tighten the sling the padded rail comes all the way to the rings it is likely too large for you. I found that if you go with a smaller size, or remove some of the padding in the rail and sew it closed again it is much more functional. You lose a lot of usability if you don't have full ability to tighten due to the padding meeting the rings. When I have my ds in it at any age I always had about 6 to 10 inches of fabric between the rings and where the padding began and it worked out perfectly. I also like that I was able to hold the baby up higher on my chest than some of the other slings. I'm short, and that was a plus for me.

I hope that this helps you out a bit. If you are having trouble, I'm sure there is someone at LLL that would be more than happy to help you.
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#14 of 14 Old 07-23-2002, 04:13 PM
 
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You sound like a phenomenal mommy. Congrats on your precious baby.

Before my dd was born, people gave me all the standard stuff...such as swings and bouncy seats. And I used them. Once my dd was here and life progressed with her, my own instincts gradually led me away from those and toward AP. My dd is now a year old and I can't imagine her being any more attached than she is! The swing and other such contraptions weren't detrimental. But it's more of an overall approach and feeling that comes with AP that makes all the difference. I discovered a mesh water sling at www.kangarookorner.com and now my dd showers with me all the time and it's wonderful! I highly recommend it. Also, pouches can be simpler to use than slings if you find you're still having sling trouble. I have a fleece pouch from www.kangerookorner.com (dd is sleeping in it right now ) and I highly recommend that as well. More than that, I couldn't live without it!!!

ENJOY!!!!
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