adoptive moms: your book suggestions... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 9 Old 07-25-2002, 12:51 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My SIL is going to Vietnam tomorrow to meet her new little boy (he was born May 16). He won't come home until September, but we want to have a virtual baby shower for them, and DH suggested we send them The Baby Book by Doc Sears. (Gotta love that DH!) I love this book, because it's like the Bible of AP, AND offers great basic advice on bathing, clothing, etc. a babe. But it is heavy on such tenets of AP as staying home with your child, which she/he won't do for the most part, and on breastfeeding, which she also won't do. Is it still valuable to an adoptive parent?
If we send it, should we also send another book? Is there a great book that addresses the value of AP practices on fostering attachment in adoptive kids?
Besides all that, what are the best resources for adoptive parents out there? A magazine subscription? Book?
Thanks in advance for your replies. Mary.
Oh, and join me in welcoming tiny Van to the world. His pic is SOOO cute! I can't wait to meet the little guy!
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#2 of 9 Old 07-25-2002, 02:13 PM
 
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We know two couples who have/are adopting from India this Summer.

We sent identical care packages including:
OTSBH sling in appropriate sizes/colors
The Baby Book (Sears)
You Are Your Child's First Teacher (Dancy)
Launching a Baby's Adoption (Johnston)
Nursing Your Adopted Child (LLL booklet)
and a baby book" called A Dream Come True (www.adorableadoptees.com)

Both especially liked the baby book--specific to adoption process (when we found out, who we called, etc.) and in bright, cheerful colors as opposed to the usual soppy pastels. And one mother even told me that she was going to the bookstore to get The Baby Book the day the package arrived. Apparently, adoptive nursing and attachment are the 'hot topics' in adoption these days!

Then, once the first baby was here we sent a carefully chosen care package of gifts (our baby is 1 month older) that are appropriate for the 'older' (9 months) baby. The one thing I wish I'd included were Weleda oil and the Infant massage book.

I also made sure to send a note that one of the most important things they could do as parents is to pick and choose what works for their child and their family and leave the rest behind--including any gifts or thoughts from us!
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#3 of 9 Old 07-28-2002, 12:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Teresa, for your suggestions. I think I will take some of them. And check out that web site! Thanks. Mary
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#4 of 9 Old 07-28-2002, 04:12 PM
 
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I don't think I've run across any parenting books specifically for adoption but a great periodical is a magazine called Adoptive Familes. It's not really ap centered but covers all sorts of adoption topics - domestic and international. Lots of pix of cute kids too. I enjoy reading most of it.

www.adoptiveFamilies.com
800-372-3300

There were some books I read that dealt with adoption issues in general like "Are Those Kids Yours" written by a mom who adopted two girls from Korea. It's a great read but doesn't cover child-rearing like The Baby Book.
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#5 of 9 Old 07-29-2002, 11:55 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks. I was thinking about magazines too. A friend at church suggested that we look for a book like Jon Kabat-Zin's Mindful Parenting. Or Polly Beriend's Whole Child Whole Parent. Took me in a different direction. She said it really hepled her to hold the image of Elizabeth in her mind as her own person; then the difficutlies they both suffered at first were external to her thought of her daughter. Make sense?
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#6 of 9 Old 07-29-2002, 08:13 PM
 
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This isn't a recommendation for a book, but if you're putting together a gift package, I'd add John McCutcheon's newest cd, Supper's On the Table, Everybody Come On In. It has an excellent track called "Happy Adoption Day" which brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it -- very sweet, talking about the wonderful day an adoptive baby came to this particular family's home.
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#7 of 9 Old 07-29-2002, 08:47 PM
 
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Oh, yeah - we have that book and it mentions a music track of some sort, though I never looked into it. The kids book is really cute and shows different sorts of families.
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#8 of 9 Old 07-29-2002, 08:54 PM
 
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http://www.tapestrybooks.com is a whole web site of adoption books. Toddler Adoption, the weaver's craft was a really good read when we were considering an older child adoption and the book Raising Adopted Children by Melina. There's also a lot of books about US/Asia adoption and a lot of books for children about adoption.
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#9 of 9 Old 07-30-2002, 08:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks, Clarity, for that resource. they have a kids' book called whe You Were Born in Vietnam that I definitely want to add to Van's gift basket. Looks lovely.
And I love John McCutcheon, so I'm gonna look for that book/CD. Great work, Mothering moms!
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