I'm quoting a post to make a point:
"I'm curious whether SAHMs have concerns about their financial security should something happen to the primary earner in their family (death, unemployment, divorce, etc.). After all, more than half of marriages (and probably a good percentage of domestic partnerships, as well) dissolve.
Has anyone read "The Price of Motherhood" by Ann Crittenden? I haven't read the whole book yet, but what I have read is hair raising. It's partially about how women who stay at home to raise their children are terribly vulnerable economically should something happen to their marriage. They don't earn any Social Security for their hard--but unpaid--work. They can be left in a real financial pickle in retirement, or in the event of a divorce/death. It is *very* difficult, unfortunately, to take time off from a career and then get back on track--we do not have a sufficiently family-friendly work culture."
"drownin her kids cuz she needs some alone time"
Don't you allll seee something wrong with this??
Why do you all go to work? To make more $$. Right? Why do you need $$? To make a nice home for your child, to have some me time, to buy a car that will drive you to and fro without stopping to breakdown on some lonely deserted island.
These are all necessities of the normal everyday modern person with any brains right?
Well what is wrong with our soceity that makes all these things so out of reach for everyone with no money???
It is pure greed. Greedy politicians, Greedy corporations. Greed makes you think you need all these things and more to make a decent normal life for your precious children.
I dare you to watch one of those documentaries on Iraq or some other desolate country in the middle of nowhere. They pray for food, to never be hungry, and water to never be thirtsy, and to never have to BE ALONE!
Solitude could mean certain death for a woman or man, especially a woman with children to take care of. They are completely dependant on extended family to help with basic chores like getting water, watching animals, cooking, watching children, etc, etc....
Think of what they live without. And many of them happily! You know they don't have this self esteem problem like we do here. They are so welcomed by neighbors, friends, relatives. They are truely loved from birth. Mothers have a super AP philosophy, they couln't otherwise or baby might die!
Most of the world lives like this. We are sooooo sheltered in our shiny cars, in our central air houses, we have light at the push of a button, we have water at the turn of a faucet.
My neighbors don't give a hoot about me. If I broke my leg tomorrow, and called them up to help me, they might bring over a casserole, once...Gee they might even rake my leaves for me! LOL!
But any more than that and they are tooo busy. Isn't that everyone's excuse these days? Too busy? It's because it's not just an excuse it's an epidemic.
No one is blaming you for putting your kids in daycare. Daycare is not really the problem is it. IT's this society, it's this mindset, it's our commercials it's this computer!
You'd be astonished and totally surprised at the number of women who do without the things we take for granted in America too.
I dare you to go visit one of there women. Can you think of any? I'm sure you've met one or two. go into their homes. How much food is in their cupboard?
How many useless items are cluttering their tiny homes?
Not much huh.
Many, many sahm's do it out of pure determination and heartache for a few years, so that they can raise someone who will be a caring indidvidual, someone who will be sane and confident.
Someone who will not drownd their children, who will not shoot up drugs, who will not run over your cat.
Who will not grow up to be a greedy corporate owner. It's fine if you go to work, it's fine if you stay home. If you love you child that's the most important part. Get mad at those who lie to you and tell you they care, but really do not!
Don't get mad at that young lady who has the guts to stand up the bull and the commercials, and her friends and neighbors urging her to "go back to work, get a breather, get a life."
Let her watch her child in peace.
Have the guts to stand up and say it's ok!!
Ok off my soap box. Please excuse the typos, my ds was nursing on and off... LOL! My point was that all those articles saying it's common to feel guilt about putting your child in daycare, were right and very very wrong. If you want to stay home but cannot, that means there is something sooo wrong with this culture. If you don't want to stay home, well that's another story alllllll together! They are two totally different topics in my opinion.
One truth of the matter is that all babies want their mothers. They have that built in monitor that beeps when mother is not near. It's there from millions of years of programming. We don't give birth to a person, but a very helpless infant who in this world could get eaten up if left by mother. It's also programmed in most mothers. That beeper, especially if you are nursing. It's not wrong to want your baby so much that it hurts. If your company and your baby are competing for you, it's very very hard to tell the company no, especially when we are bombarded with cultural views.
In this country our feminist movement forgot the fact that we have a uterus!
In Japan in their feminsit movement they brought the baby to work slung on thier back with them!
Don't forget its only been about 100 yrs since the time when all a woman's work was to care for the young, cook and clean. We think we are sooo superior to other cultures, and other times ago, we have no sense of history.
"History is like a mother that kneels down and kisses us with knowledge"
Even the word MOTHER is soooo powerful. I am a sahm simply because my mother was a divorcee who had to go back to work, and me and my bro were latchkey kids. I want to be here for my kids. That's it plain and simple.
There are many ways to either do without and still live the good life, you just have to be very creative, very thrifty, and very very determined. My Dh makes about 30 thou a yr, and I am a super sleuth who got us a gorgeous old victorian 3 bdrm house on a quiet street for 50thou. there are other forms of healthins in this state that work jsut as well as the big expensive kinds. We never eat out, we get way more tax breaks being in this bracket, my dd goes to the best private school in town on a scholarship. We do have decent cars because we didn't just settle for whatever they had on the lot and were willing to swindle us at the dealer. Yes my parents have helped us out of some binds many, many times. Not necessarily financially, but in other ways that would have made life much harder. I do wish we lived near them as that would make life even easier. We might make that our next move! I work from home now and help to bring in some income. But the work as a mother is worth so very much that you can't compare it to anything. Whether that is full or parttime work as a mother, it means so very very much to your child!
I hope I have not insulted anyone, if so please just ignore me and go on your merry way. It was not intended as a threat. The real threat is our Western way of life that has us all in a strangle hold, and we don't even know it! SOmeone near me said, they wished things would get even harder for families. Not to hurt anyone but to show just exactly what really is important, and what can truly be lived without.