I peirced my DDs ears yesterday.... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:04 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It was a real struggle too. I had wanted it done since she was tiny (now nearly 14 months).

Everything NFL in me was screaming "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! YOU ARE ABOUT TO PUT HOLES IN YOUR DD'S BODY!!!!

But everything mainstream in me was trying to calm my "crunchy side" by saying, "DD is a princess, and this will be so cute. DO IT!!! DO IT!!!". As insurance I brought along a friend that is a little crunchy, but has her daughters ears peirced.



How do you guys feel about this? Am I the only crunchy momma that has peirced her DDs ears? BTW, DD took it like a champ. She was only upset about the "restraint position" I had to hold her in.
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#2 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:40 AM
 
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Just my philosophy: I do not do anything to my children's bodies that could be long lasting or permanent unless it is medically necessary.
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#3 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:44 AM
 
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Miss A has pierced ears. She begged to get them done back in March a few weeks after she turned 4. I wouldn't have had them done just because I wanted to, but she really did and is so proud to have those cute little purple earrings now (we've never changed them from the starter earrings).
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#4 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:49 AM
 
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My Little Miss is begging to have her ears pierced. I have never mentioned it to her, but she loves helping me pick out which earrings to wear in the morning, and I guess she got the idea from there.
She'll be 3 in December, so I am planning on having it done then if she hasn't changed her mind.

DD: I'm bored and want to play Me: What about me? I can play. DD: No thanks, I mean a real person.
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#5 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:50 AM
 
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dd had her ears pierced at 3mo .. but, like her daddy, every hole you put in her body bleeds like a .. so .. out they came. If she wants them again when she's older, we'll try again, though.
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#6 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 09:52 AM
 
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Never would I do this. It is my childs body, possibley if she asks me enough about it and seems to genuinely want to do it, and understands it will hurt and she will need to learn to take care of them. But at 5 she just doesn't seem ready for it. Occaisionally she asks, but I talk about it and then she doesn't want to do it.

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#7 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:05 AM
 
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My Mom had my ears pierced when I was 7 yo, and after many talks about what it meant (pain, taking care of ears and earrings). I plan to do the same, whenever my DD seams to be interested.
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#8 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:12 AM
 
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I would never pierce my dd's ears until she wants them pierced. I plan on using it as a reward one day when she is older. (For example-If she gets good grades on her report card-she can get her ears pierced if she would like.)

Mom of 3 sons and one daughter
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#9 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:12 AM
 
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i will not get my DD's ears peirced until she is old enough to ask for them and to take care of them properly (prolly 10-12-14??) who knows?? I just dont want to put holes in her body and it not be a choice she made because she may never make that choice.....
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#10 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:33 AM
 
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I too would never pierce my child's ears (alter their body) without their consent. I don't feel that a child can give consent, knowing the pain involved and the upkeep too, until a much later age--middle childhood.

It is a painful process, it is a body altering process, and it requires daily upkeep. All things that a young child can not understand and can not ask for/consent to.

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#11 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:39 AM
 
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I think it partly comes into a cultural context. There are some cultural segments of our society where it is more common to pierce ears very young, and some where it is not. Ear piercings, if abandoned later by someone who doesn't want to wear earrings any more, are not a major deal. I say that as someone with pierced ears who hasn't worn earrings in years.

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#12 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 10:56 AM
 
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I have three girls. I will never pierce their ears until they want it, beg for it, and understand the pain and care afterwords involved.

Just as if I had had boys and didn't feel I had the right to circumsise them without their consent, I do not feel i have the right to pierce my girls' ears without their consent.

But... this is just my opinion. Lots of people do this in our culture, and if you feel ok about it that's what matters for your family.

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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#13 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 11:14 AM
 
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No, I would not do this. Not unless my daughter truly wanted them, and was old enough to have real informed consent.
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#14 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 11:43 AM
 
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I wouldn't pierce my DD's ears before the age of 4 ( at the earliest) .

I would never pierce my DD just because I wanted it done - pick out cute clothes/ cute halloween costumes? Fine - Have metal studs shot into her body? No.

I absloutely hate seeing babies and young children struggling in the chairs at the piercing shops . Sure the parents think it's cute but it can wait.

If you have to hold your child down and they are struggling against you during the procedure it is not worth it just to get earrings. It's hard enough to watch a child that needs some sort of medical scan or exam done and is struggling but for jewelry?

Myr: wife to John 8/98 and mommy to Willow 06/03, Rowan 04/07 and Linden 02/10
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#15 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 11:47 AM - Thread Starter
 
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: *sniff* noone agrees with me...........
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#16 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 11:52 AM
 
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I had my dd's ears pierced when she was 12 mos. old. It's traditional to do this for both boys and girls on their first birthdays. I made sure it was done in India where they can do it without it hurting (I had my nose pierced in India, so I can speak from personal experience abut it not hurting). Dd was fine with it, never has played with her ears, never minded it. She thinks they are pretty.

Not sure if we are going to get Nitara's done since she's not going to India until she's older most likely. But yeah, it's one of those things that dh and I feel strongly about that should be done according to tradition. We also shaved Abi's head at 12 mos. and will shave Nitara's sometime when she's had a chance to heal from all the medical procedures and is less touchy about people handling her.

Both things are reversible. If it was a permanant thing like circumcision I would wait and let the child decide when they were of an age to do that.

Darshani

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#17 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 11:54 AM
 
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i would have waited till *she could have made the decision. it isnt my body so why should i make the decision to mutilate it.

btw i have a lot of piercings and tattoo's and i would only allow my ds to have these if he was ready and wanting to have these things done.

sorry mama that noone is in agreement but this is a tough subject
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#18 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 12:06 PM
 
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How do I feel about this? :Puke

Can't you just buy some sticker earrings at the Dollar Store?
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#19 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 12:45 PM
 
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Madeline has been asking for earrings non-stop for about one month. She is enraptured with my mother's many, many varieties of earrings (I have pierced ears but just wear the same pair of studs most of the time). Despite my mother's continued insistence (in front of dd) that I should just do it dh and I have held firm to our decision that she can get them pierced when she is older if she still wants to.

We tell her she can do it when she is 8 because she responds well to a definite number (even though she doesn't really understand the concept of time in years). Eight isn't really the magic number though; I just figure that is roughly how old she will be when she can mostly take care of them herself. Hey, she may not even ask at that point. She could move right to a nose ring! :LOL

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#20 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 12:49 PM
 
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I think it's wrong to permanently alter anyone's body without their informed consent. A lot of folks who pierce their babies' ears would be appalled if someone suggested they tattoo them instead....
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#21 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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it isn't permanent......

I had no idea this was such a touchy subject. Next time I do something mainstream to my kids I am keeping my mouth shut :X
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#22 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:05 PM
 
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Haven't done it, but almost wish I'd had when she was an itty bitty baby. Would have been easier to care for and in my cultural background it's expected and most baby girls get their ears pierced and then wear the gold earrings their nonnas give them. Dd has the earrings her nonnna gave her, but at almost 2.5 years, no holes yet. I might do them soon, but I haven't decided. It's just been a royal pain to get somewhere to get them done.
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#23 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:10 PM
 
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The responses here have nothing to do with it beaing " mainstream" and everything to do with it being a body modification that the child did not ask for and could not stop you from making. I know plenty of " mainstream" parents who would be just as appalled by your decision.

Myr: wife to John 8/98 and mommy to Willow 06/03, Rowan 04/07 and Linden 02/10
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#24 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:26 PM
 
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I have serious issues with the idea of decorating a little girl by poking holes in her and filling them with symbols of wealth. I can't undertand how people who will argue to the death for no circ will then happily punch holes in their daughters. And I think it's wrong to decorate another person's body BY PIERCING HOLES IN THEM without their informed concent.

In my family, children can have piercings when they are old enough to pay for (and I don't mean at some place in the mall) and care for their own piercings.
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#25 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:32 PM
 
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This is one of those things that I don't feel very strongly about. I haven't had my dd's ears done (she's 21 months) and will wait until she asks. But if she's three and she asks - that's fine with me.

I think there's alot worse things people do to/with their children than getting their ears pierced. It's not exactly a "life altering decision". JMHO.

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#26 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:40 PM
 
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I have 3 little girls, soon to be four. I cringe when I see little babies getting their ears pierced. All the screaming and crying. Torture for beauty? Not a lesson I want my daughters to come away with. It's one thing to choose it for yourself, to be able to weigh the consequences and decide if it's worth it for you. It's another thing to have no say in the matter, and to not even be old enough to care about their being there or enjoy the benefits of "beauty" as an older girl could do. My oldest daughter is 4 and has asked a few times to wear earrings. When I tell her she can have them but that piercing involves pain, she decides to wait until she's a bit older. I want my daughter to know I respect her enough to allow her to make a decision like this that is in no way necessary.
I agree that it's sad enough when a child has to go through something they can't understand for medical reasons. For pure aesthetics, I would not do it.
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#27 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:44 PM
 
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I would not be comfortable with piercing my daughter's ears for the simple reason that they are her ears and I think she should decide what she wants to do with them.

Jenny, proud maker of red things
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#28 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:52 PM
 
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"it isn't permanent" Uh yeah it is. You poked holes in your daughters baby earlobes just because you think it looks cute. Honestly I say shame on people who do that. It IS permanent. I had mine done very young and now I hate earrings. I haven't worn them for 5.5 years and they are still very visible. You can see the hole scars and IMO it looks dumb, like I forgot to wear my earrings or something. Plus they still get infected sometimes for no reason. Why should I (or any girl/woman) have to walk around with scars on our ears so our mothers can ooh and aah over us. Geesh, buy a pretty dress or something. And also you asked opinions, if you wanted pats on the back then you should have said so.

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#29 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 01:56 PM
 
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I wanted to get dd1 ear pierce but her ears didn't fall so that the gun would fit. That said now at 22mths, i'm too worried that she'll play with them. I'm gonna wait until she is old enough to decide or maybe do a ritual for when she becomes a woman. Make it a whole day of fun for us. Shopping, get her ears pieced, a fanxy lunch, etc...

Now with dd2, I'm going to wait too. I dont find it fair that she could get her ears done and not dd1. I may do with her the same as with dd1 and make it a ritual of womanhood.

My mom and sil are both not understanding why I'm not doing it. They would have done it as soon as they could have. Even if the child was 1yr or older.

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#30 of 433 Old 10-10-2004, 02:03 PM
 
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I'm sorry if you're feeling attacked. I know that isn't what you bargained for when you posted.

I am glad your daughter hasn't tried to pull them out, and hopefully she will leave them alone. Mine wouldn't have kept her hands off of them at that age.

I can't justify the pain, plus I don't think little children look cute with earings. Not that they make the child look ugly, but it is a similar feeling as when I see little girls in full faces of makeup.

Evergreen- Loving my girls Dylan dust.gifage8, Ava energy.gifage 4 and baby Georgia baby.gif (6/3/11).

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