Mommas with biracial/interracial children - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 106 Old 10-16-2004, 07:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was just curious if there was any interest in creating a forum/subforum for mothers/fathers of biracial/interracial children (If this already exists on MDC, please clue me in!). I am white and my husband is black and we had our first child this July. I am interested in meeting other parents of kids who are multiracial...
It's funny because I have been involved on some message boards with the same topic, but ideas in parenting are quite different!? Hopefully I can find some like-minded moms to chat with...
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#2 of 106 Old 10-16-2004, 08:43 PM
 
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I'd like to join!!!!!

I'm Chinese, hubby is 1/2 Jordanian, 1/2 white. Of course my ds doesn't look a thing like me. He's got olive skin and green eyes. I get the "are you the babysitter?" comment a lot! :LOL
Curious to see what #2 will look like. She's due any day now.

It's definately interesting trying to raise dc in a multiracial family. Especially when hubby and i also speak different foreign languages and trying to teach that to our kids. And of course they'res the "cultural" issues we try to incorporate...for instance Chinese New Year etc...

Anyways, glad to meet you. Hope we can chat soon.
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#3 of 106 Old 10-16-2004, 09:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Yeah, it's the opposite for us!! Ds didn't look a thing like his dad at birth...blue eyes and VERY pale skin. Ds is now almost three months and the eyes are still blue tho he has gained a little tan. It is amazing how much his physical characteristics have transformed in such a short span of time. I look forward to the coming months. Right now, he doesn't have any hair!!
When is #2 due?? How exciting? I have talked with interracial parents who end up having one who favors mom and the other favors dad!!!

So glad you replied!
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#4 of 106 Old 10-16-2004, 10:06 PM
 
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#5 of 106 Old 10-17-2004, 06:14 AM
 
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There was a thread here a while ago, but I'm not sure it's still active.
Found it, here it is: http://www.mothering.com/discussions...light=biracial

I'm a Black and Indian (native american) mama of two very multicultural babies. My DH is of Ukrainian and Slovak descent. We're all just Americans, though. We've been married for almost 5 years and together for almost 12 years. Our daughters are almost 2 (birthday is tomorrow!) and 10 months.

Raising our daughters is more challenging on the general parental level than on a cultural/racial level. I suppose it's because they are so young and we don't get any questions about culture or race yet. I'm taking a "we'll cross that bridge when we come to it" attitude, which I'm not sure is good or bad. We tend to incorporate DH's culture into our lives more and I'm working on giving my culture "props".

It's nice to "meet" you guys.
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#6 of 106 Old 10-17-2004, 10:23 AM
 
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Hello, my family is also multicultural and interracial. I am white and my dh is Eurasian from Singapore. My dh's family is a mixture of Indian, Malay, Thai, Chinese, German and Dutch (who came to S'pore from England). We have looked at baby pictures on both sides of the family, and aunts and uncles on both sides have claimed various features as coming from their side of the family. My ds looks more like his father, while my dd looks alot like my mother. Both have my paler complexion and my dh's dark curly hair (and lots of it).

We have taken ds to S'pore twice, and been able to celebrate holiday's with dh's family such as bil's wedding and christmas. S'pore is a very diverse place with many rich traditions honored and acknowledged, and so travelling their was really cool. I so look forward to taking dd, too.

We live in a college town close to my family, so we have been in a small, yet diverse community with people of many different backgrounds. Although we are in the middle of a fairly homogenous state, we are still able to participate in a lot of diversity here in our community.

Like one of the other posters said, right now, we are exerting more effort and struggling with parenting two dc, and not so concerned about cultural issues right now. I looked at some of the baby picutes of the other posters, and I think they are all so cute... someday I will get my kiddies pictures online.
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#7 of 106 Old 10-17-2004, 02:01 PM
 
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Hi i was involved in the other thread.. but it did die off a bit...

im white.. my ex-dh is black.. dd isnt as white as me but looks like she has a nice tan.. her father is really dark and she has a beautiful afro... her pics are in my sig...

jus wanted to say the other pics are just adorable.

Seperated, Cape Dress Wearing, Covered, Conservative Mennonite Mama to big girl K.
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#8 of 106 Old 10-17-2004, 03:57 PM
 
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That would be nice, but they won't even give SAHMs their own subforum. There's a thread about in Questions and Suggestions right now. I think if they gave interracial moms a subforum the SAHMs would riot! :LOL

My kids are half Hispanic but three out of four look white. Their dad is pretty dark so we were both surprised by how "pasty" they turned out. The ethnic looking one has been mistaken for Chinese or Indian. How silly is that!

I think interracial kids (including the ones who look white) are so cute! They have a unique look to them.

I knew a rabbi who used to joke that interracial kids end up looking better than either parent.
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#9 of 106 Old 10-17-2004, 05:10 PM
 
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Hey Ladies,

I'd love to talk about raising multiracial children I'm white american and hubby is west african. Baby grace is nearly three and i wouldn't even know she was mine if i hadn't have grown her myself. shes all daddy. Shes begining to call daddy brown and mamma white and sometimes she says she's brown but mostly she says she white, this is all on her own no input form me and dad. we try to act noncholant about it and dont make a big deal just agree with her but i dont want her to get in tha habit of considering herself white because well she isn't. I want her to cherish both of her races.
any input on how others have approached this would be great
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#10 of 106 Old 10-18-2004, 05:23 AM
 
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Hi mamas!
I am white (light skinned and blue eyed), DH is Korean. I think its made for a pretty good mix in our kiddos. DD has asian-y eyes and a darker skin tone than myself, DS has very "white" eyes with just a little ethnic hint and is white skinned. So far, the 4 mo old looks almost exactly like his his sis. They are all brown eyed and haired...
The funny thing is that my DD looks just like my baby pictures, except for her eyes and skin tone, she could be me- my facial shape, nose, mouth, cheeks. And I was born with BLACK hair- blacker than hers! When she was a baby I was asked several times if she was adopted...
When DS came along the adoption questions stopped. I think he is a kind of visual link for people. I guess they figure he looks like me, and he kinda looks like kimber, so we must all be together, LOL...
DS2 is only 4 mo, but looks almost exactly like DD, even wieghs in like she did. I cant wait to watch them grow.

I always thought mixed race children were the most gorgeous and grew into the most beautiful adults. I guess I never stopped to think some of them would be mine...

And a funny story- I didnt even think about having mixed race babies until I was about 8 mo preg. I was reading some fluff mag front to back and went through an article where I was thinking, "I should skip this- doesnt appy to me" when i realized that it did very much- the article was about raising multicultural children... Thats when I realized my kiddos wouldnt be blond or blue eyed like the rest of my family LOL

Here they are... http://www.family.mother-birth.com/ <-- fixed finally
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#11 of 106 Old 10-18-2004, 08:59 AM
 
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Hi-

I'm Marie. I am originally from Canada (my mom is Jamaican) and my dh is from small town NY. My son got my dh's curly hair and light features. He got my stubborness.

We love being a mulitcultural family, the only time I feel like all eyes are on us (we live in a very multicultural community) is when we return to my dh's small town in NY. Everyone is watching.

Hey Brook, the link to your site didn't work, but when I got to your homepage I say your family pics. You have such a beautiful family.
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#12 of 106 Old 10-22-2004, 06:14 AM
 
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Marie,
Its funny, cause the only time I really "feel" the multicultural family thing is when we are visiting NY. Besides the whole east coast- west coast culture clash, we stay in a VERY asian neighborhood. As in, Im the only non-asian on the street most of the time, LOL... Its kinda weird. Last time we went I took the kiddos out walking around the hotel quite a bit and I was surprised by openly hostile looks that I got from more than a few oldtimers there...
My inlaws are obviously korean, but other than the food, they seem to make a special effort to be sure that I dont ever feel weirded out or left out of traditions- unlike my husband, who often forgets he should explain some things to me...
I fixed the link above, the pics there are from a few months ago... (it actually goes to a different site than the ones you already saw)
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#13 of 106 Old 10-22-2004, 06:22 AM
 
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My children from my first marriage are half white, half arabs. Their father is Algerian, and i am Norwegian. We are now divorced, and i am married to a Norwegian man now. But my kids are still biracial. They are not so dark as many half-arabs, they are dark blonde and have blue eyes, for some weird reason hehe... But then again, i think its n me, because my brother is half latino, and has blue eyes and brown hair hehe...

Mother of three little muslims!
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#14 of 106 Old 10-22-2004, 08:32 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee

I knew a rabbi who used to joke that interracial kids end up looking better than either parent.
yeah, my grandma says that,too she can't wait till we have children

I am german and my husband indian
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#15 of 106 Old 10-23-2004, 06:32 AM
 
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Well I'm not a mommy yet (although I seem to have caught the baby bug!) but my hubby is Mexican (raised in America) while I'm white. I can't wait to see how our children turn out!
We lived in Hawaii for a while and everyone there considered interracial children to be very beautiful.
Living there was also an interesting experience like what Modesto Doula experienced in NY - it was unusual to walk into a classroom at University of Hawaii and realize I was the minority there.
We plan on raising our children with appreciation of all their heritage including teaching them both English and Spanish from birth. Alot of the other details are up in the air.

Mama to Blake, 5, and Grant, 3
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#16 of 106 Old 10-23-2004, 08:58 AM
 
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Brooke it still doesn't work.

I think the next time I go to Dh's town I am going to wear my "Take a picture it lasts longer shirt". I've gotten into the habit of staring right back (which is hard for me since I was raised not to make eye contact since it means you are being confrontational).

I have been reading my son a lot of bi-cultural books lately and he seems to be enjoying them.
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#17 of 106 Old 10-29-2004, 09:12 PM
 
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I'm Vietnamese and my husband is white. It's hard to say who Desi looks like now. People say she looks like me.
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#18 of 106 Old 10-29-2004, 09:47 PM
 
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Since I can't figure out how to navigate this site yet , I have no opinion about adding another forum. Maybe someday I'll get the hang of this place (and maybe someday it'll load faster for me??)

I am black, white, hispanic, and indian (american indian). My DH is white (of german and something else decent, blue eyes and dark hair). Our kids are "eclectic" in looks. Our firstborn son has more tan than his daddy, way less than me, deep brown eyes and brown hair. People often think he's Chinese or Indian because of his almond-shaped eyes (which I have). Our secondborn son is my color tan with brown hair and blue almond-shaped eyes. They are absolutely beautiful children. I've always thought that mixed race children always come out so beautifully, and I'm not just saying that because of my own personal bias.
People think I am my kids big sister or babysitter, but that's because I only look 17
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#19 of 106 Old 10-29-2004, 11:12 PM
 
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Hi all. I am Korean american and dh is "just white" (German and Irish), as he calls himself. I've read a few posts of people who gets mistaken for the nanny, and I too have a baby that does not look like me. Well, I think he does have my features, but he also has pale skin, red hair and blue eyes which people don't expect a son of mine would have. How do you all explain that? I studied biology for a number of years, and asians have dominant dark eyes and hair, so that should be what is expressed, right? Anyway, I think bi-racial children are beautiful as well. Biologically, bi-racial kids get the best of both worlds as well. The more different the genetic pool of the parents, the less likely recessive diseases and such will be exhibited. I usually don't even think about the race issue, but I know ds will face that question when he starts to think about his identity.
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#20 of 106 Old 10-30-2004, 06:16 AM
 
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Mamas, do you ever get sick of the same old weirdo comments? Last night, I was over my aunt's house with my girls and was asked if I thought DD2's hair would turn out the same as DD1. It seems like a harmless question, but I really don't give a crap about how their hair is, but other people seem obsessed! My grandmother will touch DD1's hair and say almost wistfully, "Oh, I could just trade my hair for yours..." It's hair, get over it!

Now, maybe because hair is such an issue in the black community, and my daughters have so-called "good hair", this is why my family comments so much on this. I have to admit that I did wonder what hair type my daughters would have before they were born, but having them has done wonders to change my view on this good hair/bad hair thing.

Anyone else deal with this sort of thing?
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#21 of 106 Old 10-30-2004, 06:17 AM
 
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Totally forgot to say...

Goepark, I'm in your neck of the woods! I live a little bit north of you, in Linden.
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#22 of 106 Old 10-30-2004, 05:25 PM
 
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#23 of 106 Old 10-30-2004, 09:57 PM
 
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Yeah, hey Tia. I saw you on the central nj tribe forum. It'd be great for some of us to meet. And now we have yet another thing in common. Fridays are great for me. So let me know.

I don't get that much comments about the eyes, but maybe because ds has red hair. That always draws comments. Other asians are usually very accepting of ds and frequently assume he's mine, which is not always the case.
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#24 of 106 Old 10-31-2004, 02:33 AM
 
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I am late, but I wanted to chime in

I am a classic American, caucasian mutt and my SO is 1/2 Cuban and 1/2 Chinese. Great mix too :LOL

So DS is 1/4 each and 1/2 me

I always have kids ask me where his mommy is or who I am. :LOL I never get the sitter question, but I guess that is assumed w/the others. He is dark hair and deep, dark eyes, darker skin, tans wonderfully. I have blonde hair and blue eyes (my entire family has blues eyes!), fair skin.

We do not look alike really, but so far we laugh it off. I did post a thread awhile back because people ALWAYS ask me "What is he?" or "Where is he from?" And I was starting to get annoyed, but I guess now I am used to it.

We speak Spanish, Chinese and English to our son so we have a multilingual household as well. We celebrate all the holidays (Chinese New Year is SO's favorite and even asked my sister not to have her 2005 wedding so that it would interfere with Chinese New Year in NYC--a real spectacle!).

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#25 of 106 Old 10-31-2004, 05:13 PM
 
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I get the same comments about her eyes too.
I would like to speak Vietnamese to her, but unfortunately I lost the language. I can understand it, but not speak it. My parents were too busy working to talk to us when we were younger. It's hard when you immigrant to a country..you have to start from the bottom.
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#26 of 106 Old 10-31-2004, 05:44 PM
 
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I'm half Filipina, half white, my older kids' dad is from Scotland but of English and Scandinavian origin ... my younger kids' dad is euro-white, but not sure of the mix because of a number of adoptions in his family ... I call my kids Hitler's Nightmare! My mom's family is mostly Asian, with a good bit of Spanish and some Polynesian thrown in ...

My daughter and my youngest son are both dark--tan skin and black or brown-black eyes. My teenage son and 3 yr old have very fair skin, hazel eyes (one of Rowan's eyes is half blue) and medium brown hair with some red in it. Genetics is just weird. My daughter, who has Asian coloring, but is taller and, um, more voluptuous than most Asian women, gets a lot of "what are you?" questions, as do I. My white boys just don't get questioned. It's interesting. Morwynne and I identify as "non-white" or "mixed". Jamie id's as white. Too soon to say for the younger boys. DP is a little tiny bit defensive about being a white boy ... I try not to tease him, and he dances much better than most!
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#27 of 106 Old 11-01-2004, 04:46 AM
 
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we belong here, my boys fathers(yes i said father's) are both from Africa so tru "black" people lol. My oldest is tan but gets way dark in the summer, my youngest is alot darker than me and moderelty darker than his brother. check out my sig and see for yourself lol.
The only time i really "think" about it is when i get stared at and cant figure out why and then it dawns on me that they are trying to figure out if they are mine or not :LOL like i said they are both alot darker than me!!
Having said that i love having biracial children i think biracial kids are 1000% cuter than others (but hey maybe im just biased :LOL )
ETA both my boys have diffrent hair types, my oldest has the more course curly dark hair native to black people, my youngest has more "white" hair thats fine but is REALLY curly after a bath lol. And yes i constatly get told that people wish they had "his" hair
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#28 of 106 Old 11-03-2004, 01:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have the opposite issue...rather than the nanny thing, we have had comments like, "ds must be the mailman's baby!!" (ds is as white as me, while dh is black). Avery looks everything like me and as of late, his eye shape may look a little like papa's but they are still blue.
Anyhoo...the joke was...ds can't be the mailman's baby...our mailman is black too!!
I started a website for ds...check it out in my signature...baby peanut.

Many blessings to all the beautiful babes and their courageous and loving parents!!!
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#29 of 106 Old 11-03-2004, 08:23 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by catherine_hogans
I have the opposite issue...rather than the nanny thing, we have had comments like, "ds must be the mailman's baby!!" (ds is as white as me, while dh is black). Avery looks everything like me and as of late, his eye shape may look a little like papa's but they are still blue.
A friend of mine, who is white with a black husband, has a son who used to look pretty white when he was a little baby. One day when she was in church and her DH was not around, an older woman next to them asked her if she had been raped! Apparently, the woman thought her son looked too white and couldn't possibly have a black father. My friend took it really well and didn't say much back to the woman, but I was in shock when she told me this. People can be so rude.
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#30 of 106 Old 11-03-2004, 08:32 AM
 
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Ok, I hesitate to post this, but it was on my mind a lot of the day yesterday. I don't mean to offend anyone by this, but I'm wondering if I am alone in my thinking (and therefore certifiably ).

It gets my goat when people tell me mixed babies are cuter, and I'm trying to figure out why. Don't get me wrong, I think my daughters are beautiful, but not because they have a varied ethnic background. When I was pregnant, I didn't automatically assume I'd have "beautiful mixed kids", but I did wonder what they would look like maybe a bit more than the average mama-of-a-single-race baby would wonder.

This is hard to explain, but I *know* that my girls will get a different type of attention - both good and bad - because of people's natural curiosity about race/ethnicity, and I just don't want them building themselves up about looks and appearances. I want my girls to beautify their personalities from the inside out, so that race makes less of a difference. It's early, so this probably isn't making much sense, but does anyone get what I'm saying?

Just want to share this story... DH and I were on a road trip through some Southern states and we had stopped for breakfast somewhere in Virginia, I believe. We were getting the usual amount of stares which I attributed to the area where we had stopped, but the hostess was staring with such...gosh, enthusiasm?...that it started to get annoying. When we went to pay our check, that same hostess rang us up and out of the blue says, "Have you guys ever thought of having children?" My guard went up because frankly I thought it was rude to ask such a question of strangers without any previous conversation. I mumbled something, to which she said, "You know, you should think about having kids because mixed kids are the best and the most beautiful. I should know I have one." And she whipped out a picture. Now, I guess she was trying to bond, and I must be a b*tch, because I was totally turned off and offended. Sure, we'll go home right now and have some kids just for beauty's sake.
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