OK, how do you manage the candy? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 10-31-2004, 08:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We live in a small neighborhood full of kids, with lots of mainstream families. Everyone is very friendly, but most people here feed their kids stuff I'd never let DD touch - all the little ones drink soda or colored "juice drinks," and eat lots of processed snacks. Not often an issue, but of course it will be tonight.

I'm not going to tell my 3 yo that she can't go trick or treating, because she's REALLY excited about the costume and, thanks to all the buildup around her, the candy. We don't give out candy at our house - I just make up little bags of small toys like bubbles, slinkys, etc. - but I know she's going to get a ton of it from the neighbors. Last year, it was easy to manage, because she didn't really get the whole thing. She was just as happy with a piece or two of candy, and when I hid the rest away, she didn't even notice. But this year it's a different story - I think she's going to keep track of EVERY piece.

Now, I still have no problem telling her we don't eat all that stuff, and I'll ration it out the best I can, but I can imagine that we'll be in for a lot of about it.

Any wise mamas who have experience with this have a good strategy to suggest? Can I take most of it and tell her we have to share it with kids who don't have any, and pretend to give it away? Is there a better way to handle it?
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#2 of 25 Old 10-31-2004, 08:37 PM
 
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I'm in the exact same situation, and am eager to hear from more experienced mamas.

I was thinking that I would take maybe half of it out tonight, and then treat it like I do any other sugar products in the house - he can have a piece or two after dinner or after lunch. I think I may be in fantasty land about that one though. We're gonna just have to see what happens.
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#3 of 25 Old 10-31-2004, 09:02 PM
 
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They each get to have some when we come home, of course. Then, they count out 10 treats each--to be stored separately. Then, we bag up the rest and bring it to the homeless shelter. Or, as ds says "I'm sharing my treats w/the people who don't have beds!"
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#4 of 25 Old 10-31-2004, 11:35 PM
 
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DD has no idea what happened tonight so I don't think we need to worry about this yet.

I've heard of other parents buying the candy from their kids. Money goes in the piggy bank or toward some impulse buy of the child's choosing. It might result in some cheapo toy, but at least it won't give them cavities, right?
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#5 of 25 Old 10-31-2004, 11:43 PM
 
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I read from someone recently that they allow their DC to have as much candy as they want that night, and that night only

I decided to do it and DD had quite a bit of candy yesterday (when we went "visiting"; we hand out candy on Halloween) She had no lunch, (just candy) but at about 3:00 she was frantic to get some real food. I gave her some digestive enzymes and made her some lightly steamed veggies with a drizzle of yogurt. She inhaled the grow food! Didn't want any of the candy we were handing out tonight either
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#6 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 12:20 AM
 
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Elliott is currently on a dairy-free, wheat-free, sugar-free, mold-free, nightshade-free diet--VERY restrictive. Still, we are a Halloween lovin' family. We couldn't imagine an Oct 31 without trick-or-treating. In this case, I've let him have a couple of treats and we're buying the rest of the candy from him. We've discussed the great Playmobil toys he could purchase or the bingo set (with ball cage!) that he really wants, so although he's disappointed, he's at least excited about the future trip to the toy store. Maybe some targeted toy or book buying will do the trick.
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#7 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 12:37 AM
 
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we've been talking about the great pumpkin a LOT in the last week. ds is allergic to artificial dyes colours and preservatives, so there wasnt much tot candy that he could actually eat. He went tot'ing and absolutely LOVED it! we bought some safe candy for him to eat tonight (dh doled some of it out to him while tot'ing). the chemical candy is going to get picked up by the great pumpkin while ds is sleeping, and then in the morning there will be a note from the great pumpkin along with a gift thanking him for the candy. dh is taking the candy to work with him to get it out of the house.

http://www.feingold.org/halloween2.html more ideas on the link

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#8 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 12:40 AM
 
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Well, : I let them eat all they want tonight. Halloween.

As of tomorrow it will be selectivley passed out and out of sight.

Within the next week or two it will . d i s a p p e a r . .

all together
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#9 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:00 AM
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DD is 3.5, and I have thought of exchanging her candy for a toy, money, or even healthier candy. But I know what will happen. She'll take the replacement and then start crying because she doesn't have her candy anymore.

She has a lot of it this year because we went with a neighbor and walked for some time. She had a blast! It was so much fun for her.

I let her have a few things while we were out (much more than she would usually have in an entire week). She was pretty wired for the evening, but did finally agree to have a turkey sandwich before bed. She inhaled it, and agreed with me that this was "Good for your body food."

After she was asleep, I went through her candy and took out the ones that had a bunch of dye in them (M&Ms, red licorice, Mike & Ikes), and a couple that I really like , and have left the rest for her. I will allow her a piece or two after lunch for the next week or so, and will probably make most of it disappear.

The nice thing, is that she is still really into sharing with me, so I can probably make the pile dwindle by "helping" her heroically eat her candy!


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#10 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:01 AM
 
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Our girlies are 3 & 5. The oldest has a sugar thing--she eats too much refined sugar (too much being more than one cookie, a big serving of juice, any kool-aid) and you can practically watch her eyes glaze and her body start to vibrate. She bounces off the walls and makes poor choices, and though she's laughing and loud, she doesn't feel well and it makes her unhappy.

Her sugar intolerance has prompted us to be very matter-of-fact about the food choices we make, and the choices we allow her to make for herself.

We had a great time trick-or-treating tonight, but it was more about the social aspect of visiting people at their houses, admiring their decorations and talking about the girls' costumes. Of course we brought home a ton of candy! I let the kids have a couple of pieces, and then I put it all away in one big bag. I'll let them choose a piece tomorrow after lunch and another after dinner, and probably the same on Tuesday. On Wednesday dh will take the remainders to work.

It's just candy. I don't want to give it the allure of something forbidden, so I let them have some. I don't want to make it seem more special than it is, so I don't make a big deal out of it. We eat an appropriate amount, and then we give the rest away.

We've done this with Halloween candy and Easter candy and even a couple of birthday cakes for the past several years. The girls know the plan, and they accept it without too much grumbling.
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#11 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:33 AM
 
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I just wanted to add that my parents always let us have as much as we wanted whenever we wanted. This was probably when we were a little older, and when ds is a little older, I'll be fine with that. We were a very healthy eating family otherwise, so I guess they figured a couple days of sugar overload wouldn't hurt us too bad!
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#12 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:36 AM
 
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I let them have at it. Get it done and over with. I have three kids with enough toys.

I figured they can eat it fast enough not to worry about it to long.

We did trick-or-treat Frieday. Two of my three kids have begged for real foods already. They have put down the candy.
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#13 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 02:10 AM
 
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We sort out the unacceptable items (anything opened or tampered, anything with food dye, anything just yucky). DD gladly shares with DH and me, so we all get a piece after a good meal for a while. And I throw one to a few pieces away every day. Soon it's all gone.

This year, we're going to look into giving some to a food bank. I feel so wastful when I just throw it all away.

We did Trick or Treat for Unicef one year, but have some second thoughts about doing that again.

TOT has "morphed" before. It used to actually involve "tricks" that the kids would play. At some times, in some areas, Halloween has been a night of mischief, or even destruction. TOT morphed into giving out treats. Not too very long ago the treats were often homemade (and even somewhat healthful - there were apples in those caramel apples that we gave out when I was a kid). Then TOT morphed into "candy only" for the most part. I want it to morph again, into something better. Maybe giving out (small) books, or art supplies, or stickers.

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#14 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 02:58 AM
 
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I am a firm believer in the "no forbiden fruit" philosophy. My kids get a treat EVERY night. But I like it to be a small sized one.

Now to me there is no better way to stock our supply of small sized treats than Halloween! Its perfect. All those snack sizes!

We have a giant plastic "treat jar" in our house. After every birthday party the "goody bag" candy goes in. On Halloween, most goes in the jar. I told them they could have as much as they wanted tonight. But the two little ones had three pieces and the older one only two.

I think this is because candy is not a big deal in their lives.My kids are seven, nine and eleven and the "treat jar" has been around for at least 8 years. My kids are used to it being here and thus are not obssesed at all with this stuff.
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#15 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 03:23 AM
 
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I don't handle it They can have as much or as little as they want to. We got a nice haul tonight. Dd even gave me her reeses pieces, yay!

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#16 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 04:27 AM
 
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We first picked out all the ones they shouldn't have and traded them something they can eat. Then just put the whole box in front of them. DS 1 (3 years old) ate about 3 or 4 pieces. There were a lot of fireworks going on outside so he's quite distracted. DS 2 is not 2 yet and mostly played with the candies. He did put a couple small pieces into his mouth but spat them out. We put the rest of them into the cupboard and maybe give DS 1 a piece or two after meals later. I really don't know what to do with most of them. I think DH might end up eating whatever they don't eat. He can eat the yuckiest thing as long as it has sugar in it. :

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#17 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 09:05 AM
 
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I let my DD play w/ some of the pretty wrapped packages that she couldn't open, let her eat one packet of animal crackers (cool person gave her those!), and she got a hold of one hershey kiss I missed on the floor (yikes! Fortunately she didn't try to swallow the foil) and ate that.

Since she's one, that's all the candy she's getting. I'll let her have the other animal cracker packet tonight, probably.

When she's older I'll probably do what my parents did. All you want that night, then it all goes into a communal bowl and is shared and doled out a few pieces at a time. Eventually most of the stuff we really liked would be gone and my mom would get rid of the rest before Thanksgiving.

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#18 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 09:30 AM
 
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We do something similar to Maya43. We always have a big bowl of treats. I'm not sure why, I don't buy a lot of candy. But we always seem to have it around the house. At holidays we have a lot of family and friends that give both kids bags of it, and there are always birthday goodie bags, etc.,.

All the Halloween candy gets dumped into the treat bowl. Then, just like every other day, they can have a treat once or twice a day. Candy isn't a big deal at our house, because it's always around and they have access to it.

I have had friends come over and be amazed that there is candy in plain sight. They always say the same thing, "If we had that at our house, the kids would devour it." But I think if they always had access to it, there wouldn't be the complusion to eat a ton of it. Or maybe our kids are weird - my daughter kept asking people if they had any apples instead of candy.

I can't believe it's already November...

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#19 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 12:03 PM
 
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My son is also vey sensitive to sugar, so after the ToT, I gave him a choice-- veggies or candy? He and his cousin both wanted the veggies. My poor little boy, before he came into the house he was so desperate for something green that he pulled a leaf off one of my mom's shrubs and tried to eat it! He loved collecting the candy, but had no interest in eating it.

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#20 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:20 PM
 
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A bit OT, but thought I'd throw in our experience from last night.
Dd didn't go TOT (only 1) but we did hand out a mix of items - your standard candy, boxes of raisins, and some pre-packaged graham crackers. To my great surprise, the most popular item was the graham crackers (raisins were not popular except with dd, who kept trying to plant them in the plants). I couldn't believe seeing 8-10 year old boys (and older) grabbing ghaham crackers and running off going "hey mom, I got graham crackers!!" Who knew? So next year that is all we are going to hand out.
Now I know that graham crackers can be pretty sugar-heavy, but they've got to be better than , say, snickers, right?
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#21 of 25 Old 11-01-2004, 01:28 PM
 
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I let my kids have at it. They usually finish all the stuff they like within a couple days and then the rest sits there for about a week until it "disappears" (e.g. into either my mouth or the trash).
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#22 of 25 Old 11-02-2004, 09:02 PM
 
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we were visited by the sugar sprite.
she needs to collect the sugar to grow her wings, grow up into a big sprite, whatever.
i took baby girl (who is only 2 and goes along with anything still) to about a dozen houses, then we bagged it up, treated it like a treasure, then hung it up.
the next morning it was gone and replaced with a fun new toy that she is currently having fun playing with.
my strategies will evolve with the years, but i personally will not let my baby have that crap when she doesn't even care about it. no sense starting her on the sugar train...
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#23 of 25 Old 11-02-2004, 10:35 PM
 
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my aunt also does the "candy fairy" idea. it works wonders for her children, ages 10 and 5. they get a few peices that night (after a good dinner, i think getting them really full before is key) and then they put their candy on the kitchen table and when they wake up in the morning a present is waiting for them and the candy is G-O-N-E!!!! they LOve it! ds is three this year and the waldorf school had a great event with some organic baked goods (and ds had organic licorice for the first time OMG!!! he loved it!!!!!) and we had a lot of fun. but in the future we will proably do the candy fairy idea.

just my own opinion, the idea of letting ds eat a bunch (or a little, sugar/preservative/artificial color&dye junk at the start of cold and flu season just simply does not work for us. and the fact that after halloween it is thanksgiving (with pies) the lead up to xmas where everyway you turn someone is trying to "just give your child a treat" and before you know it (between birthdays and other events) it is easter ....blah blah blah. i could go on. but my point being there doesnt seem to ever be an end to the sugar/treat cycle. so we chose just not to have ds be a part of it by chosing locations/events carefully and when there is going to be capri suns and oreos (like at church) we pack ds an organic juice box and some organic animal cookies and he is THRILLED!!!! we have been opretty bullheaded about our position with sugar and people have given us a hard time abuot it but have just given up after three years. all this said, ds does LOVE sugar and we fill those cravings (and mine ) by baking at home with very very healthy ingrediants and always allowing him to have a small peice of birthday cake at a birthday party. i know some people think it is cruel for me not to let ds have all the sugar he wants but really, he is still a growing boy that needs all the nutrients he can possibly hold and he does not need his immune system depleted on a regular basis. i hope i dont get slammed for my rant, it is just how it works for our family
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#24 of 25 Old 11-03-2004, 01:37 PM
 
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it's always something, i'm damned sick of whomever trying to say 'oh, but it's (fill in the holiday here)'. so frustrating. no wonder we're all so damn fat in the states; we're often so spiritually depleted that we try to make up for it by making our children into garbage receptacles. yellow #5 has NO place in my kids.
i'm STILL sorting out my own bad habits...oh, it's christmas! well, i'm not even a christian so i don't know why the alleged birth (i say alleged 'cuz i know a few witnesses) of christ allows me to fill my body with stuff that makes me cranky and fat...
i already tell my 2 year old when something is a bad choice for her body. i worked in the natural foods industry for a few years though, and am reasonably educated about how these things work(at least enough for a two year old or my MIL who wants to feed her a JELLYBEAN! ). i have no problem explaining WHY something sucks not just 'no that has sugar!' i am fairly able to explain the effects of sugar on the body, etc. i think that people don't want to hear THAT something they're doing is wrong, but if you explain WHY then it's less easy to become selectively deaf. if you explaing to someone that partially hydrogenated oils maybe become 'stuck' in the liver, and you can do it with a storyteller's flair, you can make someone almost FEEL their vital organs seizing up...
also, we have had some diseases of civilization in the older generations of our family.
i won't try to fear-monger, but will merely not avoid drawing the conclusion between grandma's colostomy and her blatant lack of fiber but surplus of 'junk' for god knows how many years...
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#25 of 25 Old 11-03-2004, 02:10 PM
 
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Ds was allowed three pieces of candy Halloween night. Then he is allowed a piece a day until it is gone, except for gum/animal crackers and the like which I am more liberal with. We keep the candy on top of the refrigerator and what happens is he forgets about it. So after a month or so in the trash it goes. By then he'll have Christmas junk so it doesn't really matter anyway.
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