Would you let your child play with an HIV+ child? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 05:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My recent experience with being kicked out of playgroup really shocked me. I had always expected that, as an adoptive family, and particularly as a transracial adoptive family, we would face discrimination. But I didn't think it would come in the form it did and from those who were supposed to be my friends.

Now what I would like to know is, what are we facing if we are able to adopt the child in Ethiopia whom we sponsor, who is HIV+? Currently, Ethiopia does not allow HIV+ children to be placed for international adoption, but if that rule ever changes, we are first in line to adopt the child we have sponsored for 2 years.

If one of your friends or a fellow playgroup attendee had an HIV+ child, would you allow your child to play with that child?

Namaste!
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#2 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 05:28 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dharmamama

If one of your friends or a fellow playgroup attendee had an HIV+ child, would you allow your child to play with that child?

Namaste!
Of course.
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#3 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 05:38 PM
 
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Interesting question:

I do know that I am not allowed to ask if any of my preschool children have HIV. I think that is one of the reasons why we are suppose to use bleach to clean everything and to clean often.

I know young children put anything and everything in their mouths and then share it. They will take ANY bottle or sippy cup left behind (I do not leave these out).

I would love to be perfect and say yes but I nor my husband can because of the above reasons. That said I am 100% sure with my degree in early child education and opening a preschool I will have this concern more in real life then a simple questions on a forum in the internet world. I know I will have to research to understand and come to an understanding with it. Not just for myself but all the other children under my care.

Your right.
And I forgot to add the blood part. Children do cut themselve or scratch themselves ( I got a scratcher) they bite each other. So blood is there too.
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#4 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 05:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmysue2

I know young children put anything and everything in their mouths and then share it. They will take ANY bottle or sippy cup left behind (I do not leave these out).
.

HIV isn't transmitted thru saliva. You have to get semen, vaginal fluid, blood, or breastmilk INTO your bloodstream to have any risk of contracting HIV from someone who is positive. It is veryveryvery hard to transmit with casual contact. Why isolate an HIV+ kid and deprive your kid of a playmate because of misinformed hysteria?
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#5 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 05:44 PM
 
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My first reaction is of course I would let her. Then I really stopped to think about it. What the risks are of her contracting it from another child, would she be at a higher risk than being out in public with people of which we don't know the medical conditions? My answer is still yes. I don't know what people out there in the world have as far as diseases and I still take her out. I don't think she would be in any more danger playing with a child who is hiv+ than riding her bike, travelling by car, riding a horse, going to school etc. Is my thinking flawed or even stupid? I don't really know. I would gladly let her play with anyone whom she gets along with. Race, age, sexual orientation, medical needs, etc shouldn't really come into play.
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#6 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:04 PM
 
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http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/pubs/facts/transmission.htm

I lean towards not allowing, I would need to do more reading. If my children where older I think it would be fine.
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#7 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:05 PM
 
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Yes! Of course. It would not only be a good teaching experience for my child but also I would never want to prevent my child from having good friends.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#8 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:07 PM
 
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Wow, I can't believe the # of mamas who have said no or probably not. What exactly is the worry here? I mean geez, even a bite is low risk because the biter would have to be bleeding, and the blood would need to then get into your child's bloodstream, which the outflow of blood with a wound works to prevent.

I don't get it.
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#9 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:09 PM
 
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I would ONLY if I was supervising the whole time. Young children do tend to bite, scratch, ect and blood could easily be transmitted. I would keep a very close eye on them, but yes, I would allow them to play together.

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#10 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:09 PM
 
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I lean towards not allowing, I would need to do more reading. If my children where older I think it would be fine.
Just curious as to what age you would feel comfortable with interaction and why does your opinion change depending on the age of the child?
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#11 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:13 PM
 
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Well I have biters that bite hard enough to draw blood, granted its not a lot lot but it still bled.

So far me and other other said no. I am surprised there was even another no.
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#12 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:14 PM
 
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yes of course.I think it is understood that someone will take care of open wounds/no contact and that sort of thing and educate the children when they are big enough to understand.
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#13 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:15 PM
 
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Yes I would. I would probably ask the parent some questions or read a little more though. But, yes, I would.

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#14 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:15 PM
 
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Okay after I posted it I thought my second question should be a post on its own not a hitchhiker. So I removed it. Didn't want to get do far left or right, sorry
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#15 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:18 PM
 
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Yes. I will not profess to be completely knowledgable about HIV or AIDS despite having worked in the child welfare system and daycare(with infectious disease training that goes along w/it). So I can see myself researching to gain a better understanding. I think I would be more concerned about the HIV child, but that just may stem from an ignorance on my part.

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#16 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmysue2
How about letting you teenager date an HIV person?
I would educate her on the risks that go along with dating someone regardless of hiv status. I would trust her to make decisions for herself knowing the consequence of her actions. I mean I really don't want her to ever grow up and date but she will and she may not date someone that I like but its her life isn't it. My parents never gave me rules like who I could and couldn't play with or date and I think I made good choices. I think that telling a teenager what they can't do drives them to do it even more.
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#17 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:20 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ma2maya
I think I would be more concerned about the HIV child, but that just may stem from an ignorance on my part.

Kathy
No this is totally valid. HIV+ kids may have compromised immune systems, so in fact an HIV- child with a virus may be more dangerous to them than viceversa.

And yes I would let my teenager date someone who is HIV+.

I find the low level of knowledge in this thread to be frightening!
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#18 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:21 PM
 
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My head says yes and my heart says unsure. Just want to be honest with you - I am not completely immune to the fear about this particular disease that has been generated. I am definetely open to making this situation inside my comfort zone, but I still have an initial resistance, even though I know it isn't based on fact.
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#19 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:28 PM
 
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low level of knowledge No its more of I want to protect my child and will education them with the age approrate understanding of HIV.

I choose to say no and it doesn't make me a bad person but a careful person. I also am not the norm to got with the flow,or being very PC.

Would you let your child play with a grenade?
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#20 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:29 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmysue2

Would you let your child play with a grenade?
That is freaking ridiculous, comparing a child to a grenade. Get a grip.

ETA: YOur level of knowledge is deplorable. You think HIV is transmitted by saliva! Are you living in 1984? Thank goddess you are not allowed to know the HIV status of the children in your care.

Watch your misguided opinions about things you haven't experienced, you never know who you are talking to or who you may hurt.
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#21 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:30 PM
 
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I wouldn't have a problem with it. I'd be more cautious with toddlers, who can bite or scratch (and even then transmission would be unlikely), but my daughter is in kindergarten, so there really wouldn't be any way of it being transmitted. And if she did have an HIV+ friend, my concerns would be more about exposing her friend to my DD's everyday germs.

By the way, I hope everyone here realizes that their children could have friends at school who are HIV+ and you would have no way of knowing.
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#22 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:31 PM
 
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If one of your friends or a fellow playgroup attendee had an HIV+ child, would you allow your child to play with that child?
Yes. A friend of mine is HIV+ and she babysits the kids and it isn't even a thought or worry that they will contract the disease.


HIV is not transmitted by day to day contact in the home, the workplace, schools, or social settings. HIV is not transmitted through shaking hands, hugging or a casual kiss. You cannot become infected from a toilet seat, a drinking fountain, a doorknob, dishes, drinking glasses, food, or pets.

HIV is a fragile virus that does not live long outside the body. HIV is not an airborne or food borne virus. HIV is present in the blood, semen or vaginal secretions of an infected person and can be transmitted through unprotected vaginal, oral or anal sex or through sharing injection drug needles. (Source: Centers for Disease Control - CDC)


Maybe this site Children Affected By AIDS Foundation could answer some questions people may have. Don't be afraid to contact these people and ask - they WANT to educate people and will be happy to help!
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#23 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:31 PM
 
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YES! no reservations.
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#24 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:33 PM
 
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Flame me if you will, but I would also breastfeed if I were HIV+
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#25 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kavamamakava
Flame me if you will, but I would also breastfeed if I were HIV+
You're my kind of mama!
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#26 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:34 PM
 
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Of course! There's no reason I wouldn't.

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#27 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by kavamamakava
Flame me if you will, but I would also breastfeed if I were HIV+
I would too!

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#28 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kimmysue2
Would you let your child play with a grenade?
Its a child. One who wants to play and be free and happy just like your child wants to play and live. Why turn it into something ugly? Grenades are very different than a child who has a disease that causes some people to become afraid and snatch their kids up and leave. If it were your baby would you expect them to live a life of seclusion?
I'm not a perfect person or a perfect parent. I often make snap judgements about situations and what I would or wouldn't do if I were that person. The truth is that I have no idea of what it is like to be that person. I just want to be as compassionate as I can and to teach my dd the same. Obviously her health and safety come before everyone else's but I think if she was educated for her age level and such that it would be ok.
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#29 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sweetfeet
Just curious as to what age you would feel comfortable with interaction and why does your opinion change depending on the age of the child?
I dont think there is a right age for me, just old enough to be careful and understand HIV is transmitted.

My reason being young children dont know how to be careful.
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#30 of 184 Old 02-12-2005, 06:39 PM
 
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I don't think interacting with an HIV+ person is the same as playing with a hand grenade.

Dc is allowed to play with HIV+ children. For all I know, dc may already have a friend or 2 who are HIV+...it's not something I ask, or concider, when arranging a playdate.
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