moving and adjusting with toddler - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 01:10 AM - Thread Starter
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any tips you guys have on how to make a move easier on you and toddler would be great!
we are going to be moving to another city in 2 months
should i start talking about it now, and preparing her?
she is 19 months but has a HUGE vocab and a very deep understanding of high/complex concepts....

she LOVES her friends and we are very active in our small community
so she has a lot of interactions with people who have known her since she was born and love her etc
e are moving ot a bigger city (atlanta) where we only barely know a few people
i know we will meet people and form new bonds, but i am a little worried that she might miss her friends and be sad
or just be overwhelmed by the move period
and since this is our post graduate finally got a real job move, my husband will be going from finals to his new position in another city in the matter of days
in other words, he will not be much help.

so any advice you have would be great!
and should i start talking about it now?
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#2 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 01:41 AM
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Hmm, good questions. I'm not sure but these are my thoughts:

I wouldn't talk about it too early. Children that young do not have a huge concept of time. I mean, 2 months away is a LONG time for them. I would start talking to her about it closer to the time when you are actually going to physically move.

Can you get some children's books on moving. I know that there have to be a bunch of them out there. You could introduce the idea to her that way.

I'm sure other people here have some great ideas...
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#3 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 10:16 AM
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We moved when Dd was about 18 months. W talked to her ahead of time(like PP said not too far ahead of time.) I also had her 'help' me pack her stuff and saved that as the last stuff to be packed. Then when we drove to the new house, the stuff that was really important to her was in the car with her so she could see that it was coming too. Dd is very close with my mother, so my mom was there all day to be with Dd when I couldn't give her my full attention.
I think the big thing was Dd having a sense of particapation and thus a sense of control. normally she doesn't haddle change well, but that time she didn't have too much of a problem. Maybe you could also turn it into an adventure, with a whole new house to be 'discovered'!!
Good luck

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#4 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 06:26 PM
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Make sure that some things are consistent -- same toys, same furniture, etc. -- and try to go ahead of time and scope out some good parks to frequent. Definitely get out as much as possible and connect with new people, but watch your dd for signs of stress. Kids adapt, but they can be stressed out by change (my ds was).

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#5 of 5 Old 03-12-2005, 11:52 PM
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We moved across the country (and away from friends and family) when ds was 2.5. Here's what we did.

1) Didn't really talk about it until the month before we were to leave. I started packing stuff up at that time and he certainly noticed.

2) Took a lot of pictures of him with family members, friends, and at favorite places and put together a collage to hang on his new bedroom wall.

3) Packed his favorite toys and stuffed animals at the last minute. He helped pack them and said "Good-bye [toy]!! See you in [our new home]" to each toy. I felt it was particularly important that he help pack his own things so he would know what happened to each toy.

4) Allowed him to pick one special stuffed animal to keep with him and not get packed up with the others.

5) Talked up our new state/town and how much fun it was going to be to live there.

6) When we arrived he helped unpack his things and set up his new room. He had a lot of fun doing this.

7) ASAP after arriving we went for a walk around town and saw the playground, the pool, the library, the river that runs through town, daddy's workplace, all the cool, fun stuff. We visited the library and park asap as well in hopes of meeting other kids.

8) For the first 6 months or so ds would say, occassionally, "I miss Oma." or "I miss Auntie." and we would talk about how we miss everyone. We wrote letters and drew pictures to mail home. We also traded pictures over the internet, which helped. This did, eventually, stop and I soon had to beg him to draw a picture to mail to Grandma.

Ds adjusted fairly quickly to our new surroundings and I think it was harder on me than on him. Especially once he got into a routine and met some other kids to play with it was smooth sailing.

Good luck! Kids are fairly adjustable, I'll bet your dc will be just fine.
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