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#271 of 272 Old 04-02-2005, 05:48 AM
 
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I’ve been following along and have noticed that many of us are reacting (possibly) because we can relate to one or both of the ‘characters’ in the OP.

I know I can really relate to the woman who left her child. I can relate to her because it seems to me that she was reaching out. Why else would she use her time off to go to a Mother’s Bible Study, yk?

I can relate to her because my experience with mothers who struggled with motherhood ~ the bitter sweet honesty, the humility, vulnerability ~ is what saved me when I had my child. I honestly believe that *not* talking about this stuff, not reaching out and being honest is what causes so many problems for mothers.

So, I can come to a place of appreciation and admiration for that woman in the OP.

But I can also relate to the OP. I know there are many things that I have a hard time reacting to and that I need to talk about them. One of the things I know from other threads like this is that I don’t know what it’s like to be marginalized as an AP/NFL parent. I also don’t know what it’s like to constantly be bombarded with parenting that you feel is harmful.

I know there are things that I’ve seen that made me want to talk about them. I’ve wanted to vent, be frustrated, irritated, sad ~ without having to be so clear headed. Sometimes my reaction to something another person does shocks me to the extent that I need a moment to think of *me*.



That said, I, personally, don’t feel a public forum and, especially, MDC is the place to vent this stuff. But I have a good support network and outlet to do this stuff in private and my ideals for MCD are different than many members.

So, I’ve tired to apply the same sort of non-judgment to the people who need to vent here at MDC as I would to the people being judged.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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#272 of 272 Old 04-02-2005, 05:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jen123
I bit my tongue (HARD) standing next to her.

I think most of us have had this kind of situation where we just had a hard time connecting and relating to another person. It’s hard.

One thing that helps me is something I read in Mothering. The article was called, “Thank you Janet (probably wrong name) for being my Teacher.”

The basic idea is that we can learn quite a bit about ourselves and practice our relating skills quite well with someone we simply don’t like, can’t relate to or completely disagree with. Keeping this in mine helps me focus when I find myself in the situation you were in.

Seeing these situations as a challenge which we can benefit from, maybe is quite selfish :LOL, but it also really helps shift the focus and can result in a positive outcome.

Mama to DD September 2001 and DD April 2011 *Winner for most typos* eat.gif
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