Do you feel like you Need to pay for the kids' college? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: Do you feel like paying for college is a requirement for parents?
Yes, I need to pay for each of my children's college education. 70 49.30%
I will help, but they need to fund the bulk of it. 65 45.77%
No, I expect them to pay for it on their own. 7 4.93%
Voters: 142. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-13-2005, 04:51 PM
 
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We're saving a bundle a month and plan to pay for tuition, room, board, and spending money. We both got through with help from parents, grants, and loans and plan to be able to help our son as least as much. It is a huge privilege for a child to be able to get through school and not work. I do expect our son to appreciate that privilege and use it to enrich himself. If he just takes advantage of it and plays around, we'll set some boundaries.

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Old 04-13-2005, 04:56 PM
 
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By the way, our financial planner did a calculation projecting college costs and returns on investments and estimated that we need to be saving $900/month for a private school education. I believe that if his forecasts are accurate, we would have enough $$ for tuition, room, and board for four years by the time our son is 18. Typically parents save for tuition and help with living costs out of current income, so the $900/month is a bit overstated (not to mention the fact that you typically don't pay four years of tuition up front, your money would be growing each of those years). Anyhoo, thought I'd throw that out there. We asked him to run the most expensive college option as well.

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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Old 04-13-2005, 04:58 PM
 
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We are looking into private elementary schools, and we will be applying for assistance there as well. Many schools offer tuition breaks; parents just don't realize it so they don't ask. My philosophy is never let lack of money get in the way of expecting the absolute best of everything for your children.
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:11 PM
 
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Neither DH or I got a dime from our parents for college, the money just was not there. Both of us paid our own way with loans and grants.


Like another poster said, at this point, saving for retirement as not to be a burden to our children later is a lot more important to us. If we are contributing to our retirement at a comfortable rate, we will help if we can when the time comes. We will also let them live with us, help with car expenses and the like if they choose to go locally.

My mom, who lives with me and collects disability, has not a dime to her name except her monthly check. She will need to live with my brother or me for the rest of her life. When in 15 years or so, when she needs more care than I can give, I don't know what I will do. I don't want to have my children feel this way :

Kristina; wife to Max, Mom to Tristan (17) and Zackariah (7) and Lillian (5)
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:14 PM
 
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Maybe I should save up for retirement so my uneducated kids don't stick me in a nursing home as punishment for my not paying for college.
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:16 PM
 
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Tuition at the university where I work looks like this for undergraduate work:
in-state out of state fees room/board
Arts and Sciences $10130 $19500 $700 $7090
Education $10130 $19500 $700 $7090
General Studies $10130 $19500 $700 $7090
Social Work $10130 $19500 $700 $7090
Dental Medicine $10130 $19500 $700 $7090
Business Administration $11314 $21968 $700 $7090
Engineering $10804 $21308 $700 $7090
Health and
Rehab Science $12748 $24784 $700 $7090
Nursing $12748 $24784 $700 $7090
Information Science $10906 $21068 $700 $7090
Pharmacy $15486 $20498 $700 $7090

Carnegie Mellon charges $41,970 (on campus)$35,176 (commuter)$41,160 (off campus)

Chatham (a truely excellent private college) Full time: 12 – 21 credit hours is $11,435 per semester


This is a whole lot of money.
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wenat
(Side question: how much is tuition in the US?)

?
Community college in PA (leading towards an Associate's degree) - $84/credit hour

State-funded colleges (Kutztown, etc.) - $2100 in-state, $6300 out of state for tuition only/semester.

State university (Penn State) - $11,480/year, tution only.

Private colleges/universities - there's a wide range. I looked up my undergrad school, and tuition/fees are $30,720. Plus living on-campus is required for the first 2 years at least, room & board is hovering around $8,000. The benefit to a private school is that most will meet 100% of demonstrated need with loans and grants, whereas many public schools won't do so.
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:21 PM
 
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My parents did not pay for mine but they helped out a little. The bulk was paid with loans which I am repaying now. I did not expect my parents to pay for college. It is one of those things I feel I would like to provide for my children. I have gotten flamed before for saying this but I do expect my children to go to college. I wish I could afford the prepay system. I just can't fork over the extra money a month. Geesh, I want to go to grad school and I don't know how to finance that! I am trying to save for their college. Hopefully, some day I'll win the lotto. :LOL
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:24 PM
 
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wenat: tuition in the US varies by state and school. Residents of the state pay less than non residents for state schools.
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:38 PM
 
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Just some more thoughts:

My husband’s parents saved for his college in his name. His mom worked to pay for living expenses of both children. As it turned out, his tuition costs were less than the savings, so he had money at the end of college and grad school that we used as a down payment on a house. It was such a relief to have that money. It meant that we never paid a PMI and never worried about how we would ever afford a house. It is so hard to save any chunk of change at the beginning of your life and that is when it is most valuable. As my husband and I age and have the luxury of time and compounding interest, I hope that we can help out our child in this same way. I know it's not possible for all parents to do this, but it is partly possible for us to do this because our parents pushed education and shored us up financially. We were also responsible kids and didn't play around too much.

Amanda Rose, author, Rebuild From Depression: A Nutrient Guide. Don't miss this opportunity to build a business telling friends about probiotic foods and grass fed meats: Beyond Organic Review.

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Old 04-13-2005, 06:10 PM
 
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We are planning to save enopugh to put our children through university. We both put ourselves through and 60,000 is an overwhelming burden on us. Well, hopoefully, by then the Cdn government learns from Sweden.

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Old 04-13-2005, 06:54 PM
 
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I think for us it will be a combination of the kids working summer/part-time jobs, loans/scholarships, and us helping. My parents paid the remainder in bills between what we got in scholarships/loans and the total of the bill. If we had loans, we were expected to pay those off ourselves when we graduated. To me, that is fair, since I believe if you contribute monetarily to your own education, you are more likely to appreciate it more and work hard to do your best.

Jill stillheart.gif Chris (7/96), mommy to 3 sweet redheads: jumpers.gif Matthew autismribbon.gif (12/02), Michelle (8/05) and Marissa (1/10). Nursing since 2002.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:09 PM
 
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in 1987 tuition for NYU was $16,000/semester. That included a dorm room, but not food, and not books and other expenses. Same year UT (Tennessee) in-state tuition was $900/semester, not including room and board, books and other expenses. But, when it came time to pay, there were an awful lot of fees and other stuff added, parking, and so on, which made it really more like $1,500/semester. Plus, I had to pay $220/month for my apartment (off-campus) and around $600 each semester for books.

I dropped out and returned to school seven years later, and tuition had nearly doubled. I don't know what it costs now, but I'm certain it's a lot more than I had to pay back then!

I more recently took ONE COURSE at local community college because work required that I do so. Tuition was officially $150, but there were extra fees added in to it. All told, including books, I paid $650 to take one class for one semester, and it wasn't even a university!
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Old 04-13-2005, 08:00 PM
 
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One year of full-time undergrad courses at OSU, plus books, living on campus, and all associated fees, is about $15K for resident and $28K for nonresident. If you want to live off campus, average rent for a one-bedroom apartment is $450.
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Old 04-13-2005, 08:15 PM
 
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We plan to pay for as much as we can, and also provide as much help, direction, and support as we can to steer our kid(s) toward getting scholarships. Our comfort level about our ability to do that is a direct factor in how many kids we'll have. I personally feel like I have an obligation to help provide my kids with an education to the greatest degree that I am able.

Neither my husband nor I had any debt when we left college, and I cannot express how thankful we are for that. For me, it was a combination of scholarships and parental support that put me in that position. I did not ever have to work during a school year; I had a paid-off truck when I graduated courtesy of my parents (which we still drive today, almost 10 years later); and I had no debt. Those things opened up a lot of options for me. I want to provide the same for my children.

Carrie
Mama to Nate (11/02) and due 4/12/11
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Old 04-13-2005, 08:39 PM
 
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Originally Posted by reader
From the perspective of both a mom and a high school teacher, the vast majority of high school students do NOT appreciate it. Perhaps your children are an exception, but most do not appreciate the luxuries they have.
Uhhh... that was kinda my point But even if they don't appreciate it the way you think they "should" it is part of their educational needs and so you do support them going, correct?

 

 

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Old 04-13-2005, 08:59 PM
 
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Jill: In my experience with financial aid, there was always the parents' expected contribution and the student's expected contribution. Even the schools expect the student to pay for some of it.
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Old 04-13-2005, 08:59 PM
 
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I'm not planning on paying for my child's education. I've never met anyone IRL who truly appreciated that or made the most of it.

I really feel the a college education is far from a guarantee of a good life, and one can be had without it. I had a job making $60 without an iota of college. If you want to make money, technical certifications are worth more in some fields.

Conversely, my husband owns his business and has never used his sociology degree for a darned thing.

I also think many teenagers have no clue what they want out of college at that age. I think it's better to have a specific goal in mind and specific deliverables you want to achieve from a college degree.

He will be welcome to live at home while going to college, and eat meals at our house, etc. If he were doing something really ambitious like going to Harvard to become a lawyer or something, I'm sure we'd help out with his daily expenses or something.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:01 PM
 
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Just wanted to say that I'm thankful for my student loans. They allowed me to get credit cards and build my credit score up so that I was able to buy a car as well.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kavamamakava
Just wanted to say that I'm thankful for my student loans. They allowed me to get credit cards and build my credit score up so that I was able to buy a car as well.
I have credit cars and a car and *no* student loans.

Not specifically addressing you, but it seems like lots of people are doing the either/or mentality--- I want to retire/so won't pay for college, want child to appreciate school/so won't pay for college, etc...

Realistically, though, I think you *can* have both.

 

 

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Old 04-13-2005, 09:25 PM
 
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I forgot to mention that just as I will strongly encourage my ds to go to college I will also strongly encourage him NOT to go directly after h.s. My mom strongly encouraged me to wait a year in between, which I wanted to do anyway, even tho my dad was strongly against it. Very glad I did. I was able to get a lot of partying out of my system, experience the "real world" (holding down a ft job, paying the bills), and really think about why I wanted to go to college. Likewise, I took 4 yrs between college and law school, which was even more important. Most of my classmates went straight thru: h.s.->college->law school. Many of them have never even had a real job. It's just ridiculous. I think this also contributes a lot to how seriously people take college.
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Old 04-13-2005, 09:29 PM
 
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We are saving now for their college. It won't be enough to pay all, and we will expect them to contribute, but I didn't get to go, partly because of lack of support, and I don't want that for them.
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Old 04-13-2005, 10:22 PM
 
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I don't think that parents necessarily "should" pay for their kids' college, but we're planning on doing it as well as either paying in full or at least helping out with living expenses simply because it makes it easier. That said, I will encourage my kids to make sure that they actually want to go to college before jumping right in. I didn't like school and will doubtfully continue, whereas my DH is working on his PhD currently. I suppose I wasted some money finding out I didn't like school, but I'm grateful for my experiences and they've certainly informed my wish that my kids not necessarily go to college, but that they find what they would like to do. We will support them in their endeavors to find themselves as well.

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Old 04-14-2005, 12:06 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TiredX2
Realistically, though, I think you *can* have both.
Of course you can, if you have enough money ...

Namaste!
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Old 04-14-2005, 10:39 AM
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I haven't been able to afford college for my children but I help with expenses to the best of my ability.

They are floating student loans. My one dd has very low loans, the other is in med school and her debt load will be horrid.

My thirdborn is in Iraq so her college will be paid for through the GI bill (small thank-you but she'll take it if she lives to take it)

I would help more if we had the money but I think my children are learning important life lessons paying for their own education.

My firstborn waited a couple of years before she started college and she has something like a 3.85 average so, for her, waiting was a good choice.

Of course my secondborn went right out of high school and is now in med school so her choice was good for her as well

DB
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Old 04-14-2005, 05:20 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe it is the home schooler in me but I think being active in the world makes a wonderful learning experience. Life is character building. I do not see colleges experiences being more valuable than life, they are different. They make the world go around.
The homeschooler in me is nodding at the homeschooler in you.

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
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Old 04-14-2005, 05:38 PM
 
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Yep.

Quite a few of us in this thread have mentioned in various ways that college is for those who wish it.
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Old 04-14-2005, 07:20 PM
 
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..
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Old 04-14-2005, 07:49 PM
 
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By the time our kids are old enough for college, not only will the admittance criteria be more stringent, but the costs will be extraordinary. So if my kiddos make awesome grades by putting in the hard work, it's the least I can do to help support their future livlihood. They are already well on their way to having their college paid for AND we locked in their tuition rates the year they were born. So no matter how high the rates go, we'll only have to pay 2000 and 2003 rates for their tuition.
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Old 04-14-2005, 07:57 PM
 
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We live in Sweden, so that's not much of an issue for us. If we lived in the States, though, I'm sure we'd help our kids out, but we wouldn't plan to foot all--or even most--of the bill.

At-home mom to a teenager, an infant, and three in between!
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