In Praise of Sensitive Boys - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 1 Old 12-29-2001, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
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In praise of sensitive boys

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Member posted 12-31-2000 06:19 AM
I have a wonderfully sensitive 5yo boy , almost 6.
I want to cherish and preserve the beauty of this quality, and prevent him from becoming hardened by society, and hope this is possible.
He tears up at sad stories and feels each emotion very deeply, he is especially hurt when there is dischord in the home, therefore we work very hard to keep the peace in the home (although that is not always possible, we will never give up trying)
The other night dh read him a book called 'Grandfathers Prayers for the Earth' which is about a boy and his grandpa who have a special relationship, he teaches him about how the earth prays through its beauty and how in nature can be found the answers if you learn to see and listen....its a beautiful story (i tear up just thinking of it) in the story the boys grandpa dies and though it ends happy (where the boy learns to take comfort in the answers to his prayers- found in the beauty and oneness of nature) my sweet little boy couldn't stop crying after hearing the story. I had to sit with him until he fell asleep and his head was buried in a pillow and he didn't want me to see his face when he cried, he even got angry when i tried to talk to him about the story.

He wanted me to read the story, but silent to myself, so i would know why he was sad. He asked me if i read the part about dying .

I would love to hear about other sensitive boys out there, life is truly felt more deeply for them, Kelly, mom of Weylin

I wonder if he is too young for that message

unregistered posted 12-31-2000 10:01 AM
Wow. How wonderful that he feels he can express his feelings. And that he wanted you to read it to so you can relate with him. Lovely.

Moderator posted 12-31-2000 02:26 PM
I also have a wonderful, sensitive little boy of 4, who cries at sad stories, becomes physically agitated in response to scary stories, requires each hurt to be kissed better and is always ready with a hug, kiss or kind word to someone who needs it, be it his mother or the cat.
I second your praise of sensitive boys.
Blessings, Becca

Member posted 12-31-2000 04:15 PM
My sensitive boy is only 3. I find the hardest part is that other people do not understand him. They expect him to be different, and they expect me to "toughen him up". It makes me crazy.
Samuel is a complete darling.

Ms. Mom
Moderator posted 01-01-2001 05:11 PM
StClaire - Thank you for sharing your sensitive boy with us. My son just turned 6 and he is so very sensitive! I've rejoiced since day one at his gentle ways. When in a group of people he actually seeks out the loneliest or neediest person in the room and locks in on them. I agree with LadyLeen - the hardest part is hearing from Grandpa how a boy has to be 'tough'. We don't allow violent play in my home and a neighbor child ONLY has guns and knives to play with. He is equally sensitive and it's been interesting to see the boys play. I do have to remind him that we don’t play like that at our house and I think he’s relieved by this. One of the first toys he goes for when he visits is the doll house. My husband is a gentle man and I’m thankful every day for him!

Member posted 01-01-2001 05:33 PM
Thank you for that wonderful story. We hope to raise our son to feel free to express his feelings and to feel empathy for all living things.
When I was 16 my pet snake died. My brother was four years old at the time. Even though he really didn't like the snake he cried deeply at it's death. He insisted that we bury him in the backyard and plant flowers on his grave. Everyone else acted like it was no big deal and that it was silly of me to have a pet snake in the first place. Only my little brother understood how hard it was for me to lose my snake. He assured me that Monty was in "Snake Heaven". He continues to be a sensitive young man at 13 with a kind and caring nature.

Member posted 01-02-2001 04:19 AM
Thanks everyone, i love to hear about other gentle boys.
That gentleness is like an ember we must tend to in order to keep it going in the face of general society. It has pained me to see him deal with conflictions about "fitting in" with his buddies and his true nature. my sensitive boy feels everything deeper than some and cries the loudest when there is an injustice.

He also has a deep well of anger that we are trying to help him learn to express without violence, he has been making progress in that, but i suspect that it will be a challenge for him his whole life (i also am sensitive so i understand)

Keep the stories coming, blessings, Kelly

Ms. Mom
Moderator posted 01-07-2001 06:08 PM
StClaire - I unfortunately just returned from my fathers funeral. He commited suiside. My son went from extream anger to total sadness. My step sisters son did not express ANY notable emotions. It's interesting how different kids can be. As much as it rips my heart out to see my son sobbing and screaming, I know he is growing and learing to express deep emotions and learning to deal with these emotions. Yes, he too has feels anger deeply too. I think it comes from being so sensitive, caring and loving.

Member posted 01-07-2001 06:15 PM

[This message has been edited by 2boysmom (edited 01-09-2001).]

Member posted 01-07-2001 06:28 PM
My 3yo ds at about 2yrs got teary at Rupolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. He said "Why didn't they let poor Wudolph play?"
I am so sad because my boy seems to have lost that. He's seen a couple of movies that may have contributed, and his dad is certainly into the whole tough guy persona enough. But I so desperately want that sensitivity back for him. Is it possible?

Member posted 01-08-2001 03:44 AM
My heart goes out to you ms. mom. I can't imagine what it must be like to lose your father to suicide, and to watch your ds go through all of that,
Blessings to you, Kelly

Member posted 01-08-2001 04:29 AM
I have a sensitive boy too. His teachers are amazed at how kind he is. But he loves to play with the other (rowdier) boys too.
Ms. Mom I'm so sorry. I have lost a friend to suicide. That boy who is not showing his emotions may show them in time; maybe he is in that numb phase. I hope his mom gives him permission to have his feelings when they do come up.

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