The "Don't Touch Your Babe" Epidimic - Mothering Forums

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The "don't touch your babe" epidemic

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Author Topic: the "don't touch your babe" epidemic
francisflock
Member posted 03-13-2001 01:19 PM
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I suppose I have lived with my head in the sand (so to speak). These past 9 months, as I awaited the arrival of our last child, I have become keenly aware of families around me. It is frightening! Living in an area where large families are fairly common due to religious beliefs, there are alot of children around...and all of them are strapped into strollers with bottles propped up to their tiny sweet mouths! Or carried in those horrid car seats being swung along by the handle. (I actually saw an infant dropped on her head out of one of those.) Or screaming his head off while the mom (and I use that term loosely) keeps trying to shove a pasifier in his mouth. Someone I thought I had alot in common with brought her new little baby home and promptly placed her in a crib to cry herself to sleep. Even my midwife counciled me on allowing my new babe to cry alone for a time each day. Why are we afraid to touch our children? I guess I never realized before how "different" our family is. Has the world gone crazy? The generation we bring up is the hope of the future and so few are willing to invest any time or effort in the final outcome.
Venting isn't really my style but after shopping yesterday I just had to say something even I am "preaching to the choir". Thanks.



teegee
Member posted 03-13-2001 03:19 PM
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I couldn't agree more. When ds was an infant and I wore him in a sling instead of carrying him in a carseat or pushing him in a stroller, I was in the minority, believe me.
We got at least 4 or 5 pacifiers as GIFTS.

It's frowned upon by a lot of people if you nurse your baby to sleep, but it's OK to put him in a crib with a bottle of formula or juice to go to sleep on his own?

When did parenting become all about the convenience of the parents and not about the care and love of the baby?

By the way, "Does your baby sleep through the night" REALLY means: "Have you trained your baby not to disturb YOUR sleep? "

I could go on and on. But, in short, yes, the world has gone crazy.



Ann
Member posted 03-13-2001 03:40 PM
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When I was pg I was always amazed when people would ask "Do you have his room ready yet", "What kind of stroller did you get?", "Do you need a swing, we have an extra one?" etc. Everyone looked at me with such pity when I would tell them that I have a sling and we got a La-Z-Boy as a gift from my dh's grandmother and that's all we needed.


sagewinna
Member posted 03-13-2001 05:26 PM
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I saw a mom in the parking lot today who let her baby fuss in the car seat that was attached to the cart. She lifted the carseat, stuck it in the car, then propped a bottle to hush the baby. Then she ran across the parking lot to take the cart back! With all the *ahem* modern convieniences you don't have to touch the poor babe at all unless you are changing a diaper! Makes me sad.


nursing mother
Member posted 03-13-2001 06:57 PM
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Hi guys, I agree with you all totally, but with 5 kids I know it is not possible to carry them all the times. The slings I used were great , but with a person with a bad back well, carseats and strollers really helped me cope. Also I had one kid who was so colicky (totally breastfed) that I would give her peppermint water God forbid in a bottle and hold it in her mouth while I was driving while I picked up my other 4 youngen's from school or where-ever. I would have hated to know I was being judged by just what people saw on the outside and not what I did at home, totally breastfeed, co-sleeping, homebirth, slings and all. Stroller are a must with several small toddlers for safety. Once I leashed them all up (like they do in Europe) and boy you should have seen the looks I got. Anyway beyond the point I feel the same way about all the consumer products available, but boy did I take advantage of all the helps I need them. Nursing Mother


suseyblue
Member posted 03-13-2001 07:12 PM
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thanks, nursing mom, you said what I've tried to say in my reply in Life With A Newborn, 'putting baby down'. I know you didn't mean to be mean, francisflock, & I understand where you are coming from, but I felt a little hurt to think that someone would be judging me because I had to give my back a rest & took Sam for a stroll instead of walking with the sling. We really need to be more tolerant with each other- I hereby pledge to stop involuntarily giving the stinkeye to moms I see giving a bottle- please smile at me the next time you see me struggling to get a pac in my screaming baby's mouth in the library long enough to change his cloth dipe so I can then nurse him w/out poop dripping down my arm! (yesterday)
Suse





KimberMama
Member posted 03-13-2001 08:10 PM
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I have often remarked that I probable don't appear very AP in public. With two babies 14 months apart there were and are times that I don't have an arm available. I did sling/front pack my 2nd until he got too heavy for me. I often went shopping with the baby in the sling and my toddler in the cart. Sometimes if the baby was sleeping we chose to keep him in the infant seat rather than wake him. We usually used it in restaurants as well, to provide a place for him to sleep while we attended to DS#1. Of course, he outgrew it before 4 months.
I'm a bottle-feeding mom. I had to choose between bf and medication for my health, and ultimately decided that the health risk wasn't worth it (the-better-bottle-fed-than-dead-mother theorum). So yes, once my son could hold a bottle on his own I would give him one of we were out and stopping to feed him wasn't an option. You never see us at home, snuggled in my chair bottle-feeding with love, our eyes locked as my son grasps my finger. I'm glad that he's down to so few bottles a day that I rarely have to give him one in the glaring eyes of the public.

DS#1 desperately needed a pacifier. I'll never forget those long nights with him screaming until 5 a.m., feeding him until I was raw and bloody and still he cried. After 2 weeks I finally gave him a pacifier and he slept 6 hours straight (right next to my side). He needed to suck; in fact our lactation nurse at the hospital had pointed out his high sucking need. So yes, you may have seen me giving him a pacifier when I knew he was fed and freshly diapered. To show that all babies are different, DS#2 was always indifferent to the pacifier so we stopped offering one.

We didn't use a stroller much with DS#1 until he got too heavy to carry for long distances. When DS#2 was born we used the stroller far more often. By the time he was 2MO he hated the sling because he was hot (Southern California). We walk a lot, and 3-4 miles at a time. So you pass us on the street with our double stroller.

You may (gasp!) even see my 2YO on a harness and leash. Sometimes he prefers to walk and I can't yet trust him not to run into the street. Since I don't spank him I have to make him safe. It isn't always easy with another baby to care for as well.

You may not see the hugs and kisses we dole out constantly. You don't know that we sometimes co-sleep, depending on the need of the baby. You don't see the gentle discipline. You can't look through the cloth diapers and see that our sons are intact. You didn't see us when the boys were newborn and were either sleeping, held in arms, or slung. You don't know that we feed organic food and a mostly veg (some fish) diet. You see only a small part of our wonderful lives.

So as I said, we don't appear that AP in public. Except that my boys are super happy, very trusting, and quite affectionate.

Kimberly



Glori3
unregistered posted 03-13-2001 08:16 PM
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I so totally relate! You can have your baby surgically removed, fed artificially by whoever's around (and they don't even have to hold the baby or the bottle) put alone in a cage at night, and in the day go from plastic seat to swing to stroller.
That said, I was in for a shock after AP'ing 4.5yo DD. I gave birth to twins 4 months ago; one naturally, one (the next day, 5 hours later) by surgery. Have you ever tried to put *two* wriggling babes in one sling? And then try to stand up straight without knocking their heads together? Family bed means me rolling from side to side all night like the Titanic, exclusive breastfeeding means sometimes being "hooked up" like a dairy cow (and since they have their own schedules, it's a wonder I ever have my bra hooked), and the stroller and infant seats are a must. I hate them, but if you are carrying two newborns and one squirms, you don't have a free hand to steady him/her to keep the babe from plummeting to the ground. And I detest pacifiers, was quite vocal about it with DD #1, but now, hey, if one is being changed and the other starts to fuss, well, thank goodness he'll take the bink and it makes him happy enough to stop; I can't stand to hear him (or her, or me for that matter) cry. The only way I can write this is because they're both a'swingin' away in dreamland.

The worst part is that I remember when DD#1 never left my arms, and *I* was her pacifier. But would I change anything? No way. Twin babies need the bonding of attachment parenting even more, I think, even though it's harder to do. I'll just do the best I can do, like all of us, and hope it's enough. Love is the answer, not laziness. (but between us, Suse, those lazy detachment moms are still gettin' the stinkeye from me. If I can nurse TWO babies ...!)



Natashka
Member posted 03-14-2001 01:49 AM
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Kimberly, what a beautiful post! Before I bury my head with shame remembering 1) every single time I carted baby in the seat attached to the shoping cart, and, 2) every single time I (to myself) frowned at bottle proppers, let me just suggest that love often equals laziness and I think it should, we would not have been here, anthropologically speaking, if that were not the case. I mean love results and laziness results are same. My dd#1 was above 100th percentile and a couple of times I carried her carseat but that was no fun. I didn't know about slings then; so I always carried her on my hip.
Even with bottle propping, usually when you have one babe and can bf it is easier -- should I say lazier?

So I think a lot comes from culture / advertising images / social learning (do as see done). Not many people would ordinarily carry infant seats if they took the trouble of pausing and thinking - how is it helping me?

[This message has been edited by Natashka (edited 03-14-2001).]



francisflock
Member posted 03-14-2001 07:53 AM
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As my intent surely is not to offend...I must expound just a bit...
There is a HUGE difference in a mother struggling with her children for whatever reason who is patiently and obviously loving them and one who really doesn't want to touch her child. There is a difference in the mother AND the children. With God as my witness, I am so far from perfect in my motherly exploits that it is an embarrassment to me. But I do know that the loving touch of a mother can heal almost anything. We must touch our children, both physically and emotionally.



megerina
Member posted 03-14-2001 10:57 AM
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Kimberly,
May I say you aren't the only AP parent with a harness and leash for an active toddler? We don't use it often, but traveling through busy areas or on trains makes it difficult, if not impossible, to safely hold a hand or arem of a rambunctious toddler. My kids have never gotten nursemaids elbow, and one didn't fall to injury or possible death because I had one on as we were going down the stairs of a superliner and the train lurched. She shot out over the metal decking and swung back to the stairs saying "Whee! again! again! while I held onto the rail and thought about collapsing in hysterics.

Realize we are all different. You won't find a bottle in my kids mouths, but you will see other things that probably raise eyebrows with someone on one side of the AP or the other side of ezzo. No one is perfect.

Smile and be happy in your children.



k'smami
Member posted 03-14-2001 11:23 AM
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For three blissfilled months my baby slept through the night and he never cried it out. Then he got sick and it never happend again. That was 9 months ago! Anyway that was off the topic. I do see what you guys are saying though.
Right now I'm trying to give away a swing and a crib that I don't use and there are some takers but I kind of feel guilty about perpetuating the habit of not touching the baby. It's kind of like a recovering crack addict with one last vile who gives it to another addict who's not planning on quitting. (Maybe that analogy was too out there.)



karyb
Member posted 03-14-2001 11:55 AM
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It's funny before I had my son, I didn't really understand what AP was. I had my nursery ready, (crib and all), my stroller, my bouncy seat, my swing....you get what I'm saying. I guess most parent by instinct, I don't have close family so I just picked my way through and found a way of parenting that felt right. Needless to say my son has never even layed his head down in his crib. He has slept with us since we brought him home from the hospital, I nursed exclusively for almost a year and we love our sling. With that said, I did occasionally use my swing, bouncy seat and stoller when it was necessary or I simply had to take a shower!!
I recently had lunch with a friend who just had a baby 3 wks ago. I felt moved to tears when seeing how the mother never touched the baby for two hours! He is bottle-fed and sleeps through the night! I never felt more sorry for a baby in my whole life. Even though I try not to be judgemental, it's very sad to see a society that cheers when a baby sleeps undisturbed through the night at 3 wks...afterall how often do we sleep through the night as grown adults!

Just my thoughts....Kary





boobybooby
Member posted 03-14-2001 02:10 PM
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This topic is all the more reason for me to love "preaching to the choir".
I know 4 pregnant moms right now, all of whom will turn a deaf ear to me if I start talking about natural childbirth, AP, night nursing, holding babies in our arms as much as possible (imagine that), co-sleeping, etc. 2 of them took a Bradley class I suggested the first time around which was a disaster, one had a c-section because her baby was breech and the Dr. started brainwashing her from 35 weeks on about the baby probably not going to turn and external version too risky for accidental rupture of membranes. Afterward told her the baby would have been too big to del. vaginally anyway (8lbs. 12oz.)! By the way she didn't finish the class and told me she didn't like the instructors tone regarding c-sections and circumcision. The other tried natural labor and opted for an epidural, after 2 rounds of debilatating demerol. She suffered a huge episiotomy, I was there (to tape the birth)and could not believe my eyes when the Dr. (a female dr.!) just cut her like she was cutting something so unimportant like a piece of paper! They also tried cloth diapers, both gave up after a couple of weeks telling me that it was too much work and one even said that because her baby peed so much she'd rather use disposables because they don't get wet!!!!

One of them is having her 3rd dd, she weaned the 2nd one at 6 mo. saying it was too much stress on her body, but get this she has a housekeeper and a live-in babysitter for help. 3 of them are SAHM's too! These people are my friends, we are just sooo different though, it saddens me. They all say to me "you are so incredibly brave to have a baby at home", I think in return, you are brave to have a baby in the hospital given the potential for a complication. Another one is having her third and never breastfed at all, saying it's not her thing, she's not into that!

I get so tired of talking to them about parenting, birth stuff because there's just no enlightening going on and I'm sure they have the all too common thought that others shouldn't give advice on these issues. Sometimes I feel that when we all became freinds it was before we had babies and now there's not much in common. I could go on and on about the sadness I have over what things moms tell me about thier births and parenting. There was a young expecting girl living in my building and she asked me what kind of birth we were wanting. So, after we talked a few times I gave her names, numbers or doulas, midwives, etc. She too ended up with a c-section after 12 hours of labor, epidural stopping her at 8 cm (which I'm sure was fear induced too) I knew ahead of time that she was deathly afraid of a vaginal birth. Then to justify it all, they said, well he was too big anyway 9lbs. 2oz. They also circ'd him because the dad wanted to and she didn't feel like it was her place to decide a male issue!! So, I'm glad to have all of you to *talk* to.

I do so much love my friends and in closing I will try not to carry my judgemental tone any further than this moment on the board right now, I'm sorry and seriousely do not intend to offend anyone. I hope this is a place where I can safely vent some of my sadness and dissappointment.



jp
Member posted 03-14-2001 02:54 PM
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Hey K'smami, don't feel bad about passing on your stuff.
My first one spent huge amounts of time in her swing. She adored the swing. She cried when I took her out of the swing! (This made me feel rejected and awful, but she just really liked to swing.). If she would fall asleep in my arms I would sit there for hours just because it was so amazing to hold her, but if I needed both hands, I used the swing.

My Mom doesn't know what AP is, but she's the one who handed me back the baby the minute she wimpered because "She needs to nurse" and once tried to rock the screaming child to sleep for two straight hours. Meanwhile I'm arguing - Mom, just put her in the crib, she'll go to sleep! Finally Mom put her in the crib, and presto - sleep.

She was just a baby who wanted dark, silence, and lack of contact for sleep. At 8 weeks she slept through the night, alone, in her crib (yes, I would have heard her if she'd woken). Before that she was in a cradle by my bed or in the bed, and I think I kept her awake all night. She still doesn't like to share a bed, or even room. But she's a happy affectionate child, who at age 8 still hugs her friends goodbye and sits on my lap even in public.

#2 lived in my bed. He slept through the night at 4yrs. #3 (almost 5) is still in my bed some nights. Sometimes #2 & #3 have slumber parties. The third one hated the swing, so ok, no swing. We bought an exersaucer so we could shower when the other parent wasn't home. And we passed all three pieces of equipment on, and I hope they're making somebody's children happy.

Also I've advised every pregnant person I know to get one of those detachable carseats because I would have LOVED to be able to carry a sleeping child into a restaurant without waking it up! I also offer lessons on how to breastfeed the child in the carseat while Daddy is driving because no one told me you could do that until #2. We had a really long drive to family and I used to pump into a bottle while we drove and then try to get the baby to drink the cooling milk so that we didn't have to stop for 30 minutes every two hours. - UG!



Pallas
Member posted 03-14-2001 04:32 PM
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OH! Have you ever hit one of my hot buttons! I call my carseat/carrier the "display case" for that very reason. Dh hates it whenever I discover a new "convenience product" 'cause he knows it means another rendition of a 45 minute rant that he knows by heart ... the bears that mimic human heartbeats because you wouldn't want to hold a baby close enough to hear your genuine, live heartbeat. The light fixture/combo/bottle holder designed to relieve parents of the burden of having to actually get up and give their children that bottle in the night. And on and on and on ...
That said, I've used the "display case" on occasion when ds was first born, dh has cerebral palsy and wasn't comfortable carrying him in arms just yet. Ds has had a bottle(ebm) because I don't want it to be a totally foreign thing to him -- If it's ever necessary for him to have a bottle, I'd rather he was somewhat familiar with the experience so it won't totally enrage him. I even tried to get him to take a pacifier, but he has absolutely no interest, which means that I've got nothing to soothe him in the car 'til we get somewhere to stop. (Tho I confess, it makes me feel good to know that he can't be fooled by a fake nipple!)

I don't think many of us are really so judgemental -- we all fall short of the AP ideal. Some of these products can reduce your stress or your baby's stress (i.e. pacifier in the car), but many of them are overused or just an idiotic idea in the first place (heartbeat bear -- great for those in NICU or other extenuating circumstances but other than that ...) I think what bothers all of us is knowing that many of these products just make it easier to avoid interacting with the infant, and there are obviously plenty of parents happy to take advantage of that.

IMNSHO, if you're that bereft of normal nurturing instincts, get a goldfish, not a child.



francisflock
Member posted 03-14-2001 05:30 PM
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Pallas,
My meaning seemed to have been lost somewhere along the line. Thank you for your post; it hit the nail on the head :U
-DeAnn
ps, hope that smiley face is right!



Clarity
Member posted 03-14-2001 06:12 PM
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I reaaaaally worry about some of the parents I've met while we're preparing to adopt. All
this talk about "reactive attachment disorder" and so many children coming from institutions overseas...and where do they end
up? in upper middle class families where it's
pretty typical to go from car seat to swing or bouncy seat, and back to car seat. I wonder if any of these children ever get held? especially if they're not used to it, it's easy to see them as just fine and independent until it all comes storming out later on in these attachment horror stories.
An unfortunate convergance of hands-off parenting techniques and needy kids. (though
don't get me wrong, I can't imagine anyone not using those handy little plastic buckets at the grocery store for example...) and even
"hands-on" parents might end up with a child with attachment problems...just seems a lot more likely with kids who spend so long with very little touch.



madison
Member posted 03-14-2001 07:01 PM
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I'll share an experience where I didn't know whether to shake with rage or cry at the dinner table (I didn't do either, but I wanted to). Last year my good friends had their second baby. They were pretty bummed that it was a boy, they'd wanted another daughter. Their daughter is utterly adored, and is pretty adorable I must say , being the happy aunt that I am. Anyway, I knew this boy was in for it when I came over one night for dinner and Cameron (2 months old) was propped up in his boppy cushion in front of the television watching a video. He was drifting in and out of sleep and seemed semi-content, so I wasn't concerned yet, adn I was making the salad so I was busy. We all sat down for dinner a bit later and Cameron started fussing. I fully expected either of his parents to go get him off the floor and hold him. Instead, my friend got up and stuck the pacifier in his mouth and sat back down at the dinner table. Cameron spit it right out and started fussing again. My friends had a discussion about when was the last time he'd eaten. Meanwhile, Cameron is starting to cry, not only fuss. They decide he'd eaten an hour and a half ago and couldn't possibly be hungry. They continue eating their dinner. Cameron has worked up into a full wail, and the Teletubbies are singing on the television. And I just could NOT stand it! I got up from the table, got Cameron, changed his diaper and sat down at the dinner table WITH THE BABY in my lap and ate my dinner. Cameron never made a peep, just watched everyone - his eyes all red and weepy, snuggled into me happily. I was utterly furious, though I didn't say anything and we all finished out dinners in uncomfortable silence.
I wasn't invited back to their house for the next four months, though we've talked civily every week since that episode. We have only just recently been visiting again. I wonder if I should have handled it differently, and been more a part of Cameron's babyhood that I got to experience because of my actions. But I did what I thought was right at the time!

Sitting a two month old in front of a television and ignoring him is NOT OK with me. They have never treated their little girl like this, and I was so SHOCKED that they did this with their boy. Then again, Dad (who is much more mothering usually than Mom, my friend) wants to "toughen up the little guy". Both kids were Ferberized and sleep alone in their rooms since they were 6 weeks old, which is when they were both weaned.

I feel so very different in the manner in which I plan to parent. I tell everyone how I plan to share sleep, nurse until baby weans him/herself, will use a sling, plan on cloth diapering etc because I want them to get used to the idea NOW that I will be doing things differently than they all have and I don't want to get alot of BS because of it. I know I will but then I get to say "I told you so"!

So, yeah, francisflock, I understand your frustration! De-attachment parenting is EVERYWHERE. Oh, you caught me on a ranting day...!



Glori3
unregistered posted 03-14-2001 09:06 PM
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Francisflock, I truly understand where you are coming from, I guess I replied out of guilt for "not being as AP" as I was able to be with my first (single) baby.
I too am so, so sorry for these little ones who will never spend any significant time cradled in the warm loving arms of their momma or poppa. Some of your posts made me cry, poor little babies . . .

Megerina, my heart literally stopped when I read your post! Thank G*d she was tied on!

Pallas, amen to your whole post.

I really do believe that the whole "hands off" epidemic is a direct result of the marketing and commercialization of parenthood. The pregnancy test is now a ticket to a shopping spree, when all that baby wants is warm arms, warm milk and lovin'.





boobybooby
Member posted 03-14-2001 09:58 PM
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Madison, your story was so sad, I'm sorry you had to go through something like that. And my hearts cries for that poor baby, both of them.
Sorry I got off on the wrong track with my previous post, I think my mind was moving faster than I could type and I ran it off in to a ditch! I guess somewhere in my head I was thinking that AP starts during pregnancy and birth and that trying to get the right start (though obviousely not always possible) is a great help to continuing the Attachment behavior after birth as well. Sorry for not clarifying, I often type while doing multiple tasks!



suseyblue
Member posted 03-14-2001 10:03 PM
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yeah, I didn't mean to sound touchy (I think the 'mom, to use that term loosely' phrase got to me after I'd had such a struggle the night before.) I certainly know where you were coming from- but I'm still going to attempt to be more loving & less judgemental. Not everyone is as well-educated as we; now wish me luck keeping my cool when the detachment folks attempt to educate *me* (THAT gets me going! My hairdresser- who is a bit of a know-it-all- like I'm not <g> the difference is I know a *little*- just found out she is expecting & I'm gonna cringe every time I get a haircut. She's already told me how cranberry is the worst thing for a bladder infection- she *knows* this, & I'm dismissed if I even TRY to tell her about the benefits of how it keeps bacteria from adhering to the bladder- she's right, I'm wrong, & that's the way it is. Sigh. But she understands my hair!)
Suse



Naomi
Member posted 03-15-2001 11:49 AM
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Well, I've found all sorts of these devices to be handy. Before my baby outgrew her infant carseat, I liked not having to wake her up when I took her out of the car. The carseat/stroller combo was GREAT to have in the airport the two times that we've flown with the baby; we bought her a seat, and wanted to have the carseat on the plane, and those things are a total pain to carry around by the handle for any length of time.
I have an exersaucer in the dining room, which I put her in while I'm making my breakfast and when I'm eating, though I take her out if she fusses. (We try to put her there during dinner, but she usually ends up in someone's lap, trying to grab the food off our plate.) We never used the swing, and the bouncy seat got old quickly, but we regularly use the bassinette as a safe place to stash her while washing our hands after changing a diaper or whatever.

We have a jogger, which we love. (No normal stroller can be used outside in winter here, but the 20-inch wheels will go over snow, slush, and the huge mountains left at corners by the snowplow.) The long walks I've taken her on are more for me than for her, but a mentally healthy mommy is an important part of AP .

But we also hold her a lot. When she was a newborn, she was held almost 24 hours a day, since we cosleep, and dh took a long paternity leave and could hold her when I was taking a shower or feeling the need for a break. Now that she's six months old, she often wants to get down and play on the rug or in her exersaucer; I try to respect that, as well, even though I miss being able to cuddle her for hours. I'm starting to think about weaning her from cosleeping, because she seems to want more space at night than is readily available in our queen-sized bed.

But....I agree that there seems to be an epidemic of people not wanting to hold their babies! Just not that you can necessarily identify them in grocery stores . I don't understand it; holding a sweet little baby is the best feeling in the WORLD. There is NOTHING like it. A purring cat (nice as it is) doesn't even come close.




Leah's Mom
Member posted 03-15-2001 12:23 PM
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Then people wonder why our kids are soo messed up - columbine, santana, horrible negative lyrics....
No one seems to make the connection between what they do to their children as infants (ferberize, never hold, etc) with our school and societal problems....

We used the car seat cradle thing to get leah into and out of the car. Our first caregiver used the pacifier if nothing else worked to calm her down. Leah liked the swing, but preferred us holding her and she used her crib for naps about three or four times. We used our all terrain stroller when she was small, then it became a battle to see who got to push it, so we got rid of it!

I think the problem is that parents have forgotten that the "conveniences" (strollers, pacifiers, etc) are just that. Useful devices for specific occasions, not for everyday.

have a great day!

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