My 6 Month Old dd fell off the bed yesterday, I am sad - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 1 Old 12-29-2001, 06:51 PM - Thread Starter
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My 6 mth. old dd fell off the bed yesterday, I am sad.


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Author Topic: My 6 mth. old dd fell off the bed yesterday, I am sad.

SEXYGG
Member posted 07-02-2001 08:12 AM
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Yesterday afternoon after I nursed my dd to sleep for a nap, I decided to take our dog to the park. My dh had just gotten back from a bike ride and was going to stay home with our baby. Anyways, I was gone for an hour and when I came home......My husband (arrgh)was snoring, fast asleep on the couch and my dd was wailing in our bedroom, I ran down the hall after yelling at my **8&$)##@ husband to get his ass up and I found my sweet baby ON THE FLOOR with a beet red face and tears streaming down her face and snot coming out of her little nose. I scooped her up and she stopped crying and we rocked and nursed, and she was smiling aging soon, bless her litlle heart. Anyways, I feel HORRIBLE and I think she is o.k. but how do I know for sure? Also, I don't know how long she had been awake and laying there and how long was she alone after the fall off the bed? I am so sad that she had to go through that, it must have been so scary. To fall and then to not have anyone there to rescue you.I just feel bad, and I am upset at my husband for letting it happen.


lilyka
Member posted 07-02-2001 08:51 AM
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Go easy on you husband. It was an accident and these things happen. My dd was crawling at 4 months (who would have guessed) and crawled off the bed while I was in the shower. When I came in the room she was screaming and nothing I did would calm her down. Turns out she had a broken collar bone. She got over the broken bone and the trauma in a very short while. Don't worry, she will be just fine.


Ginger in the woods
Member posted 07-02-2001 10:22 AM
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yes, she'll be OK. If this is the worst thing that happens to her, consider yourself blessed. Kids fall. Kids bump their heads, get scratched, scraped, bruised, banged up, and they live to tell the tale. Here's a horror story. My ds was 7 months old. Snowing and icy. I was walking up the stairs holding ds, and I slipped on the wet stair. We tumbled all the way down, and the way he was crying, screaming, really, that I KNEW it was more than just a scary thing that happened. I tried to get him to stand on my belly, and he cried & cried. I said I think his leg is broken. We raced thru the snowstorm, (as safely as possible!) to the hospital, and sure enough, his tiny leg was broken. The hospital staff immediately removed all his clothing, and began inspecting him for bruises, and other telltale signs of abuse. When I realized that this was, in fact, what they were doing, I was horrified, and I cried to my dh, saying, "they think I abused him!!!" (we are tattooed, pierced, long haired & wild~looking, but sober, kind and loving people.) My dh said words I will never forget. "They NEED to do this. They probably do this with every child who comes through here. If there WAS a child who was abused, wouldnt you WANT them to look for the signs, and help that child?" This calmed me down, and really helped me to understand that it was nothing personal. Well, this past summer, he broke his arm, coming out of the pool slippery ~wet, and when they did the usual, I had no problem with it, and we went on, living life, and I shudder to think how many more accident this kid is going to have. It's good that you are so sensitive to your child, and it's good that this hurts your heart, you're just being a good mom. Good moms hearts hurt a lot! But Dad needs to feel forgiven, he probably feels worse than you over it. You dont want him to end up too afraid to be alone with her. This will pass. ~Ginger


megerina
Member posted 07-02-2001 11:04 AM
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Sexygg,
Other than reminding yor DH, if he wants to take a nap when the baby is down to be in with her, let the rest go, remember to tuck some pillows under the matteress to make it more difficult to roll off of when she is asleep.

what to look for after a fall that tells you to head to the ER, would be either a very quiet baby, or one who doesn't calm down after time enough to get over the general outrage. You can look for bruising, uneven pupils, any depressions on her head other than her soft spot, limp body parts, odd swellings anywhere. (Be very gentle on the once over, take a first aid class if you haven't done this before to learn how to do an efficient once-over.)

forgive yourself, forgive your husband and go on from here. All my kids have taken spills off beds. My #1DD learned to roll over off a booth in a resturant. #2 off a couch on easter Sunday, #3 off a hotel bed when she was 12 months and "should" have been safe. DS off our own bed, learning to climb off on his own. I showed him how to get off the next day so we wouldn't have a repeat. He has done enough other things, including being the first, and I hope only, kid to get a 911 ambulance trip. Febrile Seizure, and I agree, it is a bit disconcerting to have people asking you questions, checking your child for bruises, bones and other things, but they have to do it. If they had looked more closely at one case, it might have saved a life here last year. I know the ER people are kicking themselves for not looking into things more closely.


meg



SEXYGG
Member posted 07-02-2001 11:11 AM
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Thank you all for posting such reassuring stories and advice. Hearing others stories makes me feel like its o.k.!
*Ginger in the woods- Wow, that must have been soooo scary, your sucha strong mama and the advice that your dh gave you was so right on the mark. Husbands can really know what to do sometimes can't they!!!


Lena
Member posted 07-02-2001 11:32 AM
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SEXYGG, I am so glad to hear that your DD is O.K. My yonger sister fell of the bed when she was 4 mo old, and cracked her head. My mom did not recognize it immediately, b/c the baby cried for a few minutes, and then stopped, and looked fine. But that night she woke up with what looked like a second head on top of her head, and she ended up spending several months in the hospital, then got pneumonia (probably picked it up in the hospital while being treated for head trauma), and was back there for another month. She has been plagued by severe migraines ever since her infancy, too, but othervice she is O.K. now.
This acident made such a big impression on me, that I've NEVER EVER left my DS on a bed alone, even for a second. We rigged his crib in a side-car arrangement, (DH attached it to our bed with screws) and that's where we always used to put him for naps/early nights while we were still awake and going about. I felt safe knowing that he could not fall out of it, and once we were going to bed, we would bring down the side rail between the bed and the crib.

[This message has been edited by Lena (edited 07-02-2001).]



flowerpower
Member posted 07-02-2001 11:46 AM
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hugs to all you mamas.
Sexygg,

it sounds as if your child is okay, and you probably got to her right after she had fallen. That sounds like something my husband would do... I understand how angry you would be... sometimes I just want to say "duh"! to mine.

Six months old is a time that you realize quick that you just can't "trust" your child to stay in one place anymore. Can you make your bed a safer place for her to sleep? When we decided to co-sleep with our second child, we changed our whole sleeping arrangement. We bought a king size mattress, and put it directly on the floor. Our ds (1yr) is able to crawl in and out on his own, and it makes our whole life easier.

give that dd a big kiss,

fp



EllasMama
Member posted 07-02-2001 12:17 PM
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Glad that your baby is okay! This makes me realize that we need to be more careful when leaving our 5-month old to sleep on our bed. Glad I read it.
My DH is very sweet and I hope he is always 110% careful with the baby, but I will never understand how men can SLEEP through a baby wailing. The night after our baby was born, she was crying and I was so weak I couldn't pick her up. Well, DH was just snoozing through her tiny cries and I had to yell at him but that didn't work, so I finally mustered the energy to throw something at his head, which finally woke him up! Geez!! I know they aren't biologically "wired" like we are, but still, how can you sleep through a baby's cries?? I guess it's all the practice tuning me out

Carol



BoBecca
Member posted 07-02-2001 12:31 PM
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Glad everthing was fine. My Grandmother use to have a saying..."everyone gets a free one". I had mine when my 1 month old daughter rolled off the couch. She was fine, but it really scares you.


missgrl
Moderator posted 07-02-2001 12:35 PM
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Happened to me too. Dh fell asleep with ds and he awoke to my ds head hitting our tile floor. All was fine, but it makes you realize how fast disasters can happen. It's these little things that keep us parents on our toes!!!!!!
missy


Jaya
Member posted 07-02-2001 01:21 PM
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I know exactly how you feel, this happened to me about a month ago. All I did was run to get the phone and I left the baby (6 months old) on the bed and sure enough, right when I was picking up the phone he rolled right off. I was so upset I was crying and shaking so badly that I had to put the poor little guy down for a few minutes while I calmed myself. I really beat myself up over this and my husband and I ended up in a huge fight about it later when I told him what happened.
Anyway, I feel for you. Don't feel too badly, I know it's hard not to.

When I read all of these posts it made me feel great because I saw how much all of these mommys love their little babies!





shaz
Member posted 07-02-2001 01:40 PM
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after the first fall I decied not to put ds to nap on the bed at all. he napped for months in the living room on the floor . then when our family bed got bigger( we added a futon next to it on the floor) I put him to nap there. the only things I remember my ped saying was that if he
had a distinct behavioral change (like what's been mentioned already ) or if he started vomiting . none of which occured and he's fine. he also reassured us that most babies are built to handle these bumps and bruises...whew.
take care
~S


LaLa
Moderator posted 07-02-2001 02:02 PM
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This happened to us too! I had the pillow baracade all around her, and the worthless mesh rail too! She still made her way off the bed. Luckily, she landed gracefully and didn't get hurt at all, just scared.
Still, that was her last nap on the bed! She naps on the floor on a stack of blankets!

I hope you are feeling better, I know how sad it makes you feel. The other replies are very nice. I think I would have freaked out on DH, but accidents do happen, and it wouldn't have helped teh situation I guess!

I'm glad your lil gal is ok.
Love,
LaLa
www.sleepingbean.com



SEXYGG
Member posted 07-02-2001 03:09 PM
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Mamas, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! You are all so compassionate and wise and you have truly made me feel better and Helena is doing great too!
*Ellasmama- your reply made me laugh-husbands tuning us out and all...I know that one!


bella
Member posted 07-03-2001 07:23 AM
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it's so good to see this thread! i still live with the guilt of when my 4 month dd, who is now 2and1/2,rolled off while i was going for the diaper and i missed her by inches.it left her with a round red mark on her forhead but i will always wonder if it impacted her neck.after that the beds came down and to this day eventhough we've moved since, all beds in the house are on the floor.it has made life that less worrysome!oh, and since she has recently declaired herself a mountaingoat i have removed the livingroom chairs-stained concrete floor-eek!


lish
Member posted 07-03-2001 07:51 AM
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I will make this one quick..
my dd is 6 months also. She is a tumbler!!

The first time she fell,I learned, ok not on the bed alone.

The seconed time she was in bed w/dh and I.He was getting up with her in the morning.He just sat up, and she rolled right off and hit the vacuum (dont' know why it was there). I got up so fast. I was mad at dh..but it was not his fault.

The last time (2 days ago) she was in bed with me.My ds on the other side of her. At 5:30 am I heard a loud bang adn a cry. I ran to the other side of the bed thinking "how did you get past you brother?" but I could not find her. She was still crying, I looked and she had fallen between the top of the bed and the wall, stuck upside-down. I pulled her legs but she was stuck. So I ran to the end of the bed tryign to pull the bed out yelling "I'm gonna get you baby" I moved it a bit and she hit the floor!I crawled under the bed as she was crawling out and she hit her head on the frame.
She was fine, just a scare very earily in the morn. She was smiling within minutes. Seems like she thought is was funny after a while.

Needless to say....I never let her sleep any where but her crib. Not even with me...
(unless I am awake)

It is great to read all these stories!



Sheryl
Member posted 07-03-2001 08:36 AM
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What a coincidence! My dd fell out of the bed yesterday too. My husband was playing with her and she took off - too fast and BOOM! She was very scared - but no bumps or bruises. I know how you feel though - unfortunately, there are many more falls to come. Hang in there!




MilkyDay
Member posted 07-03-2001 09:02 AM
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When my dd was a couple of months old, I layed her on our very high bed and went into the kitchen. I thought she was safe because she couldn't move yet, but her legs kicked and kicked and she slowly inched over the edge. When I heard the 'thump' from the kitchen, I almost died. I ran in and she her tiny little naked body was laying face down on the floor. She screamed for a few minutes, and I cried, and observed her for signs of concussion. I felt so AWFUL for so long, I could'nt even tell anyone other than my husband, who wasn't home at the time.
Yep, when babies fall, it's really a drag!


mama osi
Member posted 07-03-2001 07:42 PM
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Ok-gotta come out of my shame closet! My dd was 7.5 months (now 9.5) and had just woken up bright and smiley between my dh and I, as usual. I went to take a shower, and when I came out she was playing on the bed with just-woke-up-after-two-hours-sleep-to-play-with-my-sunshine Daddy. I sneaked out of the bedroom (she'll want me if she sees me) and sat at the computer for about 15-20 min when I heard a loud thump, followed by loud cursing in Italian. I KNEW. She fell off after Daddy dozed off mid-game...!! He was holding her, hugging her tight, in SO much pain for her and kept saying "never leave her with me, don't leave her with me" (crying in Italian, of course!) that I did not dare say a word of accusation. I just hugged both of them and started singing one of her favorite soothing songs, and she was smiling in no time. She had some redness on her forehead, but no bump. Her knee, though, had a little bruise later.
I did, though, take her to the chiropractor (the only other human being I confessed to ). Without having seen the bruise she could tell which knee had been hit from her misalignment. A small click did the job.
SEXYGG: I think your husband is sorry enough -- don't remind him at every meal, ok?


Chanley
Moderator posted 07-03-2001 08:52 PM
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Yuppers Aria is in the club.
I will admit that it happened more than once. Luckily we have padded carpet in that room and it is a VERY short fall. We put the bed on the floor and she would not crawl off of the edge for a long time. When she woke up she would crawl to the end of the bed, scream for me and wait till I got there.

Now at 9 months she can climb on and off of the bed, so she just wakes up and either screams or comes looking for me.

Those rails are totally worthless, the only person they have kept from falling off of the bed is me. I weigh enuff to keep them positioned. They do give a false sense of security.





jakesmom
Member posted 07-04-2001 03:06 AM
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Don't beat yourself (or your dh) up about it. My mother was telling me a story about my sister falling off the bed at a relative's house and someone told my mom something about an old wives tale that if they don't fall off the bed before their first birthday that you will "never raise them" whatever that means. One thing I might do though, my chiro was telling me that alot of times an ear infection will follow a fall b/c it messes up the alignment so that the eustacian tubes don't drain right, so you may want to get her adjusted to help prevent that. Just a thought, remember this stuff and repeat it to me when I post on here when Jake falls off the bed!


ediesmom
Member posted 07-04-2001 04:23 AM
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I can just imagine an upside down stuck baby with a frantic mommy saying i'll get you out baby! I am laughing!. mommying is so absurd sometimes(only when the baby isn't hurt!). Oh the learning!
I am so glad I read this thread this morning! I needed a chuckle, thinking about all of edie's silly mishaps! I thank goodness she has never been hurt.



suseyblue
Member posted 07-05-2001 02:35 PM
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sam is almost 6 months now (2 more days!) and i have been paranoid as hell about our pillow barriers not working...
sitting here reading, he was taking a rare nap with the moniter on- he always calls for me as soon as he wakes, or at least i can hear stirring...

glad i saw this topic- i had that feeling, and needed to go look. he was silently and sneakily edging towards the side of the bed! man, i wish he would sleep in the cosleeper or crib sometimes; this should be fun, getting him used to napping elsewhere than on the bed! wish me luck- i am prolly going to have a napless baby for a few days (since i cannot leave him to cry, of course).

suse



pixieeyed
Member posted 07-09-2001 01:01 AM
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Although this is a bit off the topic, I had to add it. Spaeaking of husbands sleeping through the baby crying...when my son was 6 days old, we were coming home from the birth center where I'd had my "first week check". We stopped for me to buy some nursing bras, and my husband stayed in the car with the baby. When I came out, (after about 5 minutes since they didn't have any). They were both totally asleep with all of the car doors locked and my keys inside. No mater what I did. my husband wouldn't wake up. I was shaking the car and banging so hard that I thought I'd break the window. Finally some guy in a big truck saw what was going on and tried to help. He kept asking if I was sure that my husband didn't have any medical problems, and I had to keep telling him that we had a 6 day old baby and hadn't slept. The guy couldn't get him up either, so he finally pulled his truck right up to our car, and laid on the horn until my husband woke up.
And I always thought he was faking sleeping through the baby...

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