Boys wearing dresses in public. - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 06:54 PM
 
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See, if we lived in Hawaii, we'd all wear lava-lavas every day. It's the culture there.

Ds could wear a kilt. Dh and I both have scottish ancestry.

We are six: Me : Dh : Ds1('00) Dd('02) Ds2('05) Ds3('08) and, wow! Soon to be seven, Dd2 due 4/23.
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#122 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:29 PM
 
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I would probably not without a big discussion about how society and gender roles work and if he really seemed adamant about it. It's one thing if its something really important to him, its another thing if it was just a whim on his part. I would want to expose him to a society that doesn't handle stuff like this well without him having some understanding (at least at a primitive level) of what he's getting into. I wouldn't want him to get hurt.

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#123 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:32 PM
 
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I would like to think that I would let my son wear a dress wherever he wanted to but if we were going somewhere where people might give him a hard time about it (and where I live that's likely to happen) I think I would think twice. I don't have a problem with it though, and it always amazes me how much people make of gender at such a young age. I was at the supermarket and the cashier told me that I should dress him in blue when I take him out so people know he's a boy, and my husband's friend told him that we're going to turn him into a mama's boy by co-sleeping and not letting him "cry it out". I just don't get it...he's only six months old.
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#124 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:48 PM
 
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no. I wouldn't. I don't even let him wear stained shirts out of the house! LOL. If he wants to wear a dress when he's older- so be it... but not on my watch. I don't know WHY I wouldn't let him- but I wouldn't. :
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#125 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:50 PM
 
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My husband's rugby team is filled with "islanders" wearing sarongs....

Hmmm.. no one teases the 250+ pound guys from Tonga, Fiji etc... wonder why?

DD will grow up with these guys. I wonder if she'll ever tell me that she doesn't want to wear a dress because they are for boys?
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#126 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:54 PM
 
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As I mentioned over on the "should girls wear pants in public" thread- I let my ds wear pretty much whatever he wants. He has worn my old dancing costumes, feather boas, high-healed dress up shoes, his sisters clothes, makeup, finger nail polish and hair bows from time to time. His favorite color is pink and he has often lamented that boys clothing doesn't come in pink or have sparkily stuff on it. He also "nurses" babydolls and wears them in slings. He says he's gonna be a daddy when he grows up These days though, he spend most of his time in his Spiderman costume from last halloween that is literally coming apart at the seams. Really, what my kids wear is the least of my worries. And for what's it's worth- I teach them that it's not important what other people think about them. The only thing that matters is what they think of themselves.
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#127 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 07:56 PM
 
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It's culturally acceptable for Pacific Islanders to wear sarongs, I see it often living in Hawaii. Oh, to see the buff guys in sarongs, yummy!

But, I don't know how I would handle this question, my knee jerk answer is to say no.

student/sahm to three awesome girls who are always on the go!
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#128 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:04 PM
 
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This is a hard one for me.

I want to say, "Hell YES."

But I wonder... is that only because DS has never expressed an interest? I don't count "dress up" clothes as a dress (even princess or fairy or playsilk skirts or whatever) because that is pretend. But if I was going to take DS to get his picture taken and had picked out his shorts, polo & sweater vest and he said, "No I want to wear this dress instead" could I *actually* suck it up and say, "Great" or would I waffle, make excuses?

I did recently realize that although he reports his favorite colors as "Red, pink and purple" I buy the vast majority of his clothes in... blue. So I asked him "DS would you like a pink shirt" and then went to Old Navy yesterday and got him a pink polo. He really likes it, but not more than any other shirt (and, btw, that is the *only* color polo they have left--- the blue, yellow, etc... are long gone).

He wears nail polish w/impunity. He chooses his own hair (wears a small pony on top of his head many days, is in the process of growing it out). He wore a pink leotard to gymnastics. But I *do* encourage him to wear swim trunks (he HAS worn a girls swimsuit before, though).

I *think* that I would be great w/DS wearing a skirt/dress to something "normal" (preschool, shopping, etc...). Less so for pictures, special holiday function, etc... BUT this is something that really disappoints me about myself and I work against. I would *LOVE* DS to wear a kilt and am searching for one--- if anyone has an idea where to get a 3T kilt for cheapish please let me know. But a dress?

I guess one major issue is that I just don't like kids in dresses much. When DD was DS's age I had her wear pants to family functions (holidays & such). Now she is older and generally chooses to "dress up."

I would have no issue with an older boy wearing a dress or skirt. I would explain that some (rude, ignorant) people may have an issue with it but that it was his choice and *I* would support it. I guess I also just get sick of being "that freak" and it seems like one more battle that doesn't *seem* important to DS.

Okay, I guess I answered my own question. If it was important to DS? Yes. Am I going to go buy him dresses like I buy him other clothing without him requesting it? No.

Except a kilt. Because that would be just TOOOOO cute.

 

 

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#129 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:08 PM
 
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Considering my DP is into drag and my best girlfriend is a H.I.S. King, I think any kid of mine will be all about queering gender and wearing whatever feels good at the moment.
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#130 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:23 PM
 
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Yes, and I've done it. At age 3 they're still babies.

If he wanted to wear a dress in public at age 15, it would be another story (and, as I've never been the mom of a 15yo boy who wanted to wear dresses, I'll reserve judgement on that for now as well.)

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#131 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:24 PM
 
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I understand we all do things and make decisions we feel are in the best interest of our families. I must say that I am thankful to whatever evolutionary process that has helped me to become as openminded and nonjudgmental of things like this. And I am happy that my children will not feel afraid or hindered in the creative development because of it.
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#132 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:35 PM
 
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My brother wore girls' clothes to school in high school - sparkly spaghetti-strap tops, long skirts, and makeup. It was so funny!
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#133 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 08:52 PM
 
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I don't have boys, but if I did, I probably would say no. Mothra's explanation about sums it up for me. I'd be fine with boys wearing whatever they wanted around the house, but out in public, probably not.
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#134 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 09:15 PM
 
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yeah i would

Sahm mom to three lovely girls, and happily married to a great, sweet guy
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#135 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 09:37 PM
 
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I have to say that I really don't give a spider's butt what my sons wear in public. At least at age 3. My 3 year old quite frequently wears his sister's clothing, shoes, socks, underwear, whatever. If it's pink, it's his. He LOVES pink. I have let him wear full make up, fingernail polish, whatever. I do, however, draw the line at wearing a dress to family parties due to the crap that I'd get from my parents.

My son is allowed to live his life free of the baggage that I carry. Little girls can wear blue and pants, then little boys can wear pink and dresses.
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#136 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 09:48 PM
 
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Hmmm... :

I would probably not let him wear a dress out of the house, no. I can see it becoming an issue if we had a dress, however.

I do let him get the pink balloon at Trader Joe's if he wants it (66% of the time). I do let him wear the sparkly pink high heel shoes up and down an aisle when we're shoe shopping (it never fails with the sparkly pink high heels). I paint his toenails when he asks (when I'm doing my own).

But I've recently drawn a line at making him a pink tie-dye shirt with a heart on it so I think that wearing a dress out in public is probably past that line.

A non-dress dresslike article of clothing, though, might be acceptable (traditional Chinese robe, kilt, etc.).

: Deirdre & the boys ('02 & '06 vintage)
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#137 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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Sure...I htink my brother went through a phase of wearing dresses and his hair in clips. When I have a boy of my own I really want to get a kilt in our Clan's Tartan. And Haley can wear whatever she wants. She wears Max's hand-me-downs all the time...even underwear a few times (hey when you have an accident and don't have spares you do what you gotta do) She is absolutely adorable with her hair in long pigtails, her sparkly beads and Max's Cargo pants and Star Wars t-shirts

jen: caring auntie to a bunch of little (and some not so little anymore) wild things. Teacher to my whackadoodle 3s (and sometimes infants)
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#138 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 01:57 AM
 
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Probably, but only because I'm not likely to ever own something sleazy. (Don't ask me to define sleazy :LOL )

I'm going to try to refrain (never say never it'll come back to haunt you) from forcing any of my future children to wear dresses. :LOL
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#139 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 09:56 AM
 
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Anyone else thinking someone should open an online store and make "boyish" dresses? For boys AND girls of course.
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#140 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 10:11 AM
 
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DS has worn dresses outside of the house - he's 4.5. I can't imagine anyone ever saying something to him. He's always dressed different than other kids and no one has ever said anything, apart from making the mistake of assuming he's a girl, but that happens when he's in jeans and a sweatshirt. He has long hair (actually a fashion mullet as my brother and his friends call it - he's been growing out his mohawk)

I think the safety stuff would be a bigger issue when he's older, but not when he's still pre-school. I've never heard of a pre-schooler being physically or even verbally attacked for dress before. That would really shock me.

Most of DS' clothes come from the girls dept - he likes 70s stuff so it's easier to dress him from there. Flared jeans, closer cut t-shirts etc. I think he finds the baggy and straight hanging styles in the boy's dept to get in his way when he's running or hanging upside down. Yoga pants are just easier to be active in than baggy khakis.
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#141 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 11:07 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenaniah
Sure...She is absolutely adorable with her hair in long pigtails, her sparkly beads and Max's Cargo pants and Star Wars t-shirts
She sounds like the world's cutest kid to me!

Jen

secular classical-ish mama to an incredible 5 year old DS and an amazing 6 year old DD.
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#142 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 02:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gridley13
Anyone else thinking someone should open an online store and make "boyish" dresses? For boys AND girls of course.

I mentioned this topic to dh last night and asked for his opinion. He was unsure. He knows I hate gender lines and such. He said, I think it woul dbe ok as long as it were a "boys skirt". I guess that means not frilly.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#143 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 02:32 PM
 
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I forgot to mention that I asked him about wearing a dress for himself. He said no. BUt he would wear a skirt if it was long and made for him. I don't have time this weekend but when I get it made I'll post pics

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#144 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 04:27 PM
 
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I just remembered that several years ago there were dresses/skirts for guys. Any ex-partyers or ravers might remember them. I went to several parties where guys (teens/20s) wore them.

I moved overseas shortly after so I don't know if they caught on! But guys in other countries wear skirts/sarongs... and man.. nothing sexier than that!

Mom to 4! Welcomed Aila Wren on Friday, February 25th!
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#145 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 11:10 PM
 
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No, most likely not. Personal esthetics is the main reason. We live in a pretty conservative excessively mainstream area, so that definitely factors in as well. I don't draw any gender line on colors- dd looks gorgeous in blue & she wears a lot of it, even when she was shiny-bald! :LOL if i have a boy, he can wear pink & he'll most certainly have dolls. He'll also grow up with a lot less of the gender stereotypes that most boys around here will, but dresses will be in-house only.
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#146 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 11:45 PM
 
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Originally Posted by its_our_family
I mentioned this topic to dh last night and asked for his opinion. He was unsure. He knows I hate gender lines and such. He said, I think it woul dbe ok as long as it were a "boys skirt". I guess that means not frilly.

you should check out utilikilts. They are hot on men!
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#147 of 258 Old 06-03-2005, 11:55 PM
 
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I have two boys and they pretty much wear what they want. Both wear lavender, pink and other colors traditionally associated with girls, they also have dolls, a baby stroller, dress up clothes, love to wear jewelry(all kinds) This is interesting because my dh is very senstive about this because he was called pretty boy his whole life and so we got a navy and white "dress" for our youngest and I put him in it for bed (cotton kids, really very plain could be seen as a long shirt) and dh went crazy he was like, "We can't let him wear a dress" I am all, " He's going to bed, at least he's had a bath and he's comfortable."

I feel like I try to respect my children's creative choices even if it causes a bit of stress for others.
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#148 of 258 Old 06-04-2005, 04:53 AM
 
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My DS is 5 and loves his Snow White dress. When he first got it last year he wore it all day, every day. And I don't remember getting any negative reactions. This morning he had a dress on as well, but he took it off (and put his shorts back on) to go to the grocery store. I think he's getting more self-conscious.
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#149 of 258 Old 06-04-2005, 12:48 PM
 
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I would never, ever let my son wear a dress!
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#150 of 258 Old 06-04-2005, 02:25 PM
 
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It would be so interesting to me to see how many men who are "secret deviant" cross-dressers--had parents that didn't allow them to wear dresses.

Not saying cross-dressers are deviant BTW :
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