Boys wearing dresses in public. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 258 Old 06-01-2005, 11:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would you let your 3 year old ds wear a dress out of the house? :
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#2 of 258 Old 06-01-2005, 11:57 PM
 
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Yes...

if I had a 3yo ds...

Interesting to see this question here tonight, a good friend of mine came over to my house today with her 4yo son. He was wearing brand new white Keds-type shoes with glittery laces and little charms on the laces...a flipflop charm, a sparkly heart, etc. He *LOVES* the shoes. But he also loves to play swords and shields and monsters and dinosaurs with my kids. What harm can come of letting your kids dress however they want?

What are you telling your son if you say No?
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#3 of 258 Old 06-01-2005, 11:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't have a son, but I'd say yes too.
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#4 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:00 AM
 
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yes. If he really wanted to, I don't see a problem with it. Although dresses aren't in abundance in our house, so I don't think I'll have to make that decision any time soon :LOL

He does have a pink dolls stroller that he loves to play with (well, loved, it got broken in a mini tornadoe I'm attempting to fix it) and he also enjoys playing with tea sets, I've had people say 'boys shouldn't be playing with that' and I say 'why not?' Usually they don't have an answer, or if they do its so stupid I just .
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#5 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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Yes.

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#6 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:05 AM
 
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Funny this should come up. I was talking with my afterschool class (age 5-10) and I said, why can't boys where dresses? Most said because it is just wrong. I said, "well, if dresses are only for girls, then why can they wear pants if boys should only where them?" No one had an answer except one. He said, "because God made the rule about clothing." I could have died. I don't think my eyes could have rolled back further in my head without getting stuck that way.

And to answer...if I had a ds, yes he could where dresses or skirts in public.
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#7 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:07 AM
 
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YES!

I would let my DS wear make-up if he wished to..
:LOL in his teen years of course
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#8 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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My DS isn't three yet, but if he wanted to I'd let him. I don't think my DP would be too happy about it, though.

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#9 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:10 AM
 
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When my son was three we didn't have any dresses so it would have never occured to him to wear them BUT.....I assure you a dress would have been pretty tame compared to some of the get-ups he went out in public in, :LOL

It's a battle I wouldn't choose, I'd let him wear the dress!
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#10 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:14 AM
 
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Yep. He's 4 now and doesn't wear his sister's dress-up dresses anymore, but he still pushes the stroller (he's AP-in-training, LOL) and wears Barbie roller skates.
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#11 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:50 AM
 
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Yes.
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#12 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 12:56 AM
 
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My first response is...............of course, he should wear what he wants.

My second response is if we are living on base (we are military) at the time probably not. Military communities are small and not exactly abundant in open minded folk. I'd hate for him to be ostracized for something so silly (saving the ostracizing for the 'no you can't have a toy gun like all the other boys' and other things I think are worth the battle), but I guess it would depend on how badly he wanted to wear the dress.

Now if he were 13 and wanted to wear the dress, then heck yeah. I guess it depends on the situation; I'd want to be sure he was aware of the consequences of shaking things up a little (military context here) and willing to take those on and be there to support him. At three I can imagine that I'd still want to protect him from the morons and not sure I could explain why everyone else was invited to joey's party and he wasn't. Might save that lesson for later...............

But it's all hypothetical since I don't have a boy.
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#13 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:03 AM
 
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I am a bad person.

I have let other people's little boys wear Abi's dresses (they really wanted to!) the man in question was horrified (and shocked at his horror...he is very liberal but his sons in a dress squicked him. His wife thought it hilarious.

Yeah, if I had a son I would let him. *L

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#14 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:05 AM
 
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yes and i do.. well, he's 2 1/2 and he likes dresses and they are comfy when its hot.. but he wears girlish stuff a lot and i love it and i think that anyone with a problem with a tiny boy wearing girls clothes is crazy!

 

 

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#15 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:28 AM
 
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Geeze I don't know.
If you'd asked me a short while ago I would have said YES in a big way.
Now I'm not so sure.

My son is very pretty. He has long blond curls, long eyelashes, and is just...pretty. People think he's a girl all the time. Always have. It doesn't bother me at all and I tell people that all the time when I correct them. However it seems to be bugging ds to be mistaken for a girl these days.
He has NOTHING against girls. But it bugs him that people don't know he's a boy.
Today he saw a pair of jeans with flowers on them and asked me for them. I told him their the wrong size for him. :
My first reaction was to get them for him. Then my mind shot playbacks of his face when people mistake him for a girl and he dislikes it/corrects them.
I wish I could get them for him...but I know it would just add to people thinking he's a girl. And if it bothers him then I'd like to cut down on it.

I'm a bit confused on this one...

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#16 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:47 AM
 
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My ds wears his sister's nightgowns and sometimes her clothes, but it is usually because she dresses him or tells him to wear it. He wants to be like her so he doesn't protest. Lately she has been wearing his clothes too. He is now wearing her flip flops from last summer, they are blue but have sparkles on them, and yes he wears them out of the house as well.
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#17 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:48 AM
 
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Only if we're going to places that people wouldn't know that he's not a girl. We dress our sons very similarly when we go out. Jeans, plaid shirt, sneakers...etc. People always think they're a boy and a girl just because O's hair is longer than P's. Sometimes I think we might as well put some pretty clothes on O so people wouldn't think the poor little girl is wearing big brother's hand-me downs.

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#18 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 01:59 AM
 
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Daednu, people mistake Ds for a girl often too. I totally know what you mean about how annoyed they get. I think it really irritated Ds because it made no sense to him, you know? As far as he was concerned it was a complete non sequitur.

I don't know if you *want* any advice (as if I ever let that stop me :LOL) but we did a lot of talking about why people assume that some things = girl and others = boy. I think Ds kinda gets a kick out of "educating" these days: he'll introduce himself and say "I'm a boy and I have long hair" or "I'm a boy and I like purple." It's cute.
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#19 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 02:19 AM
 
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I have to be honest...no I wouldn't. I guess I'm pretty old fashioned that way ~ dresses are for girls, not boys.
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#20 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:12 AM
 
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Sure, if he wanted to wear one he could. He wears barrettes and headbands (pink sparkly ones, he says they are his crown) all the time.

He does love dress up and most of his best friends are girls. When he goes to their houses he dresses up in their stuff which usually means he is a ballerina or princess. And that's cool. DH gets a bit unsettled but lets him be.

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#21 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:14 AM
 
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My 3yo is not very verbal. He is verbal, but he has a speech delay and no one can understand him. His only requirement for his own clothing is that it is not his brother's.

I'd like to say that I would, but I would not. He is incapable of understanding the type of response it would receive, a response that might be dangerous to him.

If my 7yo wanted to wear a dress in public, I'd talk to him about it and explain what types of reactions he might receive. I would not let him wear a dress in public without me there to protect him.
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#22 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:16 AM
 
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Well, if we want to be technical about what "old fashioned" is, there are many men alive today, whose parents PUT them in "dresses" as 3 year olds.

I recall seeing few pictures of my step-father's childhood, but this man's man, "redneck" farm raised boy was wearing "dresses" in all the fancy family pictures, where he was very young.

And I'm suddenly reminded of an older style winnie the pooh book, where christopher robin looks just like an adorable moden-day girl. He's wearing a dress, and has a cute "bob" haircut.

"Old fashioned" people typically had little children dressed in the same particular way, regardless of sex, and then once they reached a certain age, they dressed like the adults of their sex.
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#23 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:30 AM
 
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Yes, If my DS wanted to wear a dress, of course he could..


I also agree with the PP's response to Emzachsmama's comment. Off the top of my head I can think of another example of "old fashioned" boys wearing dresses.
In colonial America boys were corset trained and wore dresses until they got their first pair of breeches and were considered a man.
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#24 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:33 AM
 
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I want to be clear that I wouldn't disuade my 3yo from wearing a dress in public because I'm old fashioned or have some kind of moral objection to it. Mostly, I'd worry for his emotional safety. I don't think anyone would attack a 3yo for wearing a dress, I wouldn't let him out of my reach, but I can only imagine what the response would be.
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#25 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 03:47 AM
 
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I certainly would without a doubt. It would be fun!! But, if they're not wearing their "cool" skateboarding clothes, I'm often spotted walking around town with mini superheroes.
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#26 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 04:00 AM
 
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Eh-- he wouldn't be nekkid!
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#27 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 04:09 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by umbrella

I recall seeing few pictures of my step-father's childhood, but this man's man, "redneck" farm raised boy was wearing "dresses" in all the fancy family pictures, where he was very young.
Very true. My son is named after his great-granddady, who we have photos of wearing a white dress and Looking Verrrry Serious. Precious little guy.

On another note, I have dressed my three-month-old in pink while at a friends' house (ds threw up, all my friend has are pink sleepers) and my dh said "At least he's secure in his manhood"
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#28 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 04:45 AM
 
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Ok so aparently 'old fashioned' wasn't the best way for me to describe my feelings. :LOL

I guess it just comes down to the fact that I think dresses are for girls and not boys and I wouldn't be comfortable with my son wearing a dress.
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#29 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 11:27 AM
 
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yes

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#30 of 258 Old 06-02-2005, 11:37 AM
 
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yes, i would. he has already a few times, but he's too young to really pick out his own clothes-his sister picked the times he wore them. even when he wears a blue t shirt people say what a pretty girl i have-but i totally think he looks like a boy.

i hope they won't care what other people think.

i do agree with Mothra, though. Only if I were there to protect him from any potentially mean people.
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