Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Locust Valley, New York
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Okay, I need your opinions, please! Today at a birthday party 3 y.o. dd asked the birthday boy (also 3) if she could try a new toy of his (and asked politely, too, I should point out). He responded with a loud, "No!" She burst into tears. Because I don't think any child should be forced to share (especially a shiny new birthday gift), I simply comforted my daughter and agreed that it is upsetting to be refused when you make an effort to ask nicely. But later, the same boy asked to share a toy she had, and she said no rather loudly herself, which is pretty out of character for her. When I asked her about the incident later she explained that she didn't want to share with him because he wouldn't share with her. I really wasn't sure how to respond. I do want her to learn to treat others as she wants to be treated, but on the other hand, this boy NEVER wants to share with her, and shouldn't she see that the "do unto others" rule applies to everybody? If I had told her that what she did was wrong, is that interfering with her learning to choose friends wisely? Okay, I'm starting to ramble and babble (and obsess) a little, so I'll stop, but I'd love some opinions!