Stories to help your husband:
My brother loved dolls as a kid. He is now a perfectly "manly" adult who does perfectly "manly" things, though sensitive as the day he was born.
Most little boys have played around with societal thoughts about gender. I have a three year old nephew who, when my sister was talking to her son's dad about possibly getting married, turned to his dad and said, "Why would you want to marry a giiiiiiirrl?!" My mom asked him, "If he didn't marry a girl, who would he marry?" and he told her, "A boy of course!" Little boys often play dress-up with "girl" clothes. And children are so free from our expectations that they often see colors for their beauty rather than for their gender lines. What could be wrong with that?
Now, as for the issue at hand:
What would be the worst case scenario here? I mean, what exactly worries people about gender play and non-sterotypical gender patterns?
Are people afraid their children will turn out (gasp!) gay?!? Well, first, what would be wrong with that? Other than the discrimination I face, I live a perfectly happy and healthy life as a biaffectional myself. Second, gender roles have nothing to do with being gay. My SO was not particularly a tomboy as a kid, and she turned out gay. And most cross-dressers and members of the trans community are indeed hetero.
Are people afraid that their boys will be "soft" and not survive the harsh realities of the world? Well, if it were up to me, I would much rather have a "soft" son who was sensitive and commited to the world around him, a boy who could possibly someday be a very sensitive, caring, and romantic boyfriend and/or husband, and a boy who could recognize beauty than a son who was hardened to the world around him.
You get the picture. I just don't know why people make such a fuss over these things. I think it is because they over-simplify the "gender identity" issue. Ever take a class on gender? Life is so complex!
I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.