Mom left kids in car, I called 911; Right action? - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 150 Old 10-07-2005, 12:04 PM
 
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I have not read all of the replies - it's a hard call. I think I would have just watched the car and if the mom wasn't back in say, 10 minutes, then I would call - or knock on the window and ask if the kids are alright. When I was a kid - 7,8,9 - I remember preferring to wait in the car while my mom ran a quick errand and she always left my sisters with me.

I think (hope) a mother knows her children and whether or not the oldest is responsible enough to stay put and mind the others for a few minutes. Lord knows when my DD is asleep in the car (the only place she'll sleep) I have been tempted to leave her there while I run in somewhere real quick (meaning less than 3 minutes LOL). Of course I never have but if I had an older child to stay with her, I probably would. Depending on where I was of course.
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#122 of 150 Old 10-08-2005, 11:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maya44
At least where I live, children under the age of 11 can not be left in a car alone or with others under this age.

Running in to a store, even for "5 minutes" will get you in trouble (endangering the life of a minor).

I have no problem calling the police to report a crime.

The law is not a "value judgment" It's the law, pure and simple. If you think it is wrong, seek to have it changed.

My question is - do you also call when you see a car swerving all over the road? Or speeding? Or running red lights?

Or do you assume they're just a "bad driver" and forget about it?

Because the liklihood of "something" happening to kids in a car is FAR FAR FAR LESS than the liklihood of kids being killed due to reckless driving, either on the part of the parent driving (reaching to get dropped sippy/book/snack) or on the part of a stranger more concerned with their own value judgements than the responsibilities to the larger community on the road.
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#123 of 150 Old 10-09-2005, 12:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mrs.felt
absolutely not! paging something like that over the loudspeaker is practically an invitation for any sicko that might be listening to bolt out to the parking lot, knowing that there are unattended children and do something horrible to the children. same reason if there is a lost child in a department store, managers or other store associates guard all doors and are informed of the child's description and last known whereabouts before ANY page is made.
Oh my goodness, I didn't think of it that way. I certainly would have stayed and watched the children so that if they were "visited" by anyone they didn't know, it would have been apparent to me and I could have helped them. But I do understand your point. Goodness.
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#124 of 150 Old 10-09-2005, 12:04 AM
 
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I would have called 911. A 9 yr old is not old enough to supervise a young child in the car, period. She should have taken the youngest in with her - I could see leaving a 9 & 7 year old for a few minutes but not with a baby.
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#125 of 150 Old 10-09-2005, 12:08 AM
 
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Would you believe I had a nightmare last night that I locked my 4mo DD in the car to run into work to grab something and when I came out, someone had stolen my car, and left me a note that I should know better than to leave a baby in a car alone? :LOL In the dream, I thought it was my husband, teaching me a lesson, but it turned out to be a stranger, who, when I found him, wouldn't give me back my daughter because I'd left her in the car in teh first place.

I woke up in TEARS.

Nope, like I said previously, I'd NEVER leave my kids in a car, not even for a minute. Maybe I"m paranoid, sure. But if something, ANYTHING, did happen, I'd never be able to forgive myself!

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#126 of 150 Old 10-09-2005, 12:25 AM
 
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Originally Posted by klvsjc
I would never leave my kids to go shopping but to run in and pay for gas or get a soda...?? or run in the house b/c i forgot something. I don't think that is necessarily wrong. If it was against the law in my state, i wouldn't do it... b/c it would be against the law... I have never leave my kids where I can't see them but i have left them to go pay for gas and etc...
This is me also... I am not feeling comfortible when I run in to pay for gas even with my eyes on my car...and some days I feel like the unease/guilt isnt worth the "quickness and undesturbed bubs"...but I still do it other days...


Quote:
Originally Posted by hhurd
No one is advocating that you do. Just don't be calling the police on people who make different choices because you can imagine all the things that could possibly go wrong. Remember that the tables can turn quickly and something you choose to do could strike someone else as "neglect."
well said!!

I am afraid of the "police calling people" ...I think about this alot and it is particularly freaky to me because there is alot of things I do differently because I am amoung people of a completly different culture than myself plus the ap/natural thing as well.

Im doing what I believe is best for my family (even if I am breaking the law in this state...

...using a midwife for example if anyone called the cops about her (after all she broke the law)..she would go straight to jail...

...the idea of other people calling the cops on me about my parenting choices gives me as much of the creaps as someone kidnapping my kids...it'd be the same outcome in my mind. who says a cop or temp. foster home wont moleste your child??...or do mainstream stuff to them (like medicate )-eeek -... alot of which i think should be against the law .
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#127 of 150 Old 10-11-2005, 10:53 PM
 
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I am afraid of the "police calling people" ...I think about this alot and it is particularly freaky to me because there is alot of things I do differently because I am amoung people of a completly different culture than myself plus the ap/natural thing as well.

Im doing what I believe is best for my family (even if I am breaking the law in this state...

...using a midwife for example if anyone called the cops about her (after all she broke the law)..she would go straight to jail...

...the idea of other people calling the cops on me about my parenting choices gives me as much of the creaps as someone kidnapping my kids...it'd be the same outcome in my mind. who says a cop or temp. foster home wont moleste your child??...or do mainstream stuff to them (like medicate )-eeek -... alot of which i think should be against the law .

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#128 of 150 Old 10-14-2005, 02:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maya44
Originally Posted by maya44
At least where I live, children under the age of 11 can not be left in a car alone or with others under this age.

Running in to a store, even for "5 minutes" will get you in trouble (endangering the life of a minor).

I have no problem calling the police to report a crime.

The law is not a "value judgment" It's the law, pure and simple. If you think it is wrong, seek to have it changed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by momof4peppers
My question is - do you also call when you see a car swerving all over the road? Or speeding? Or running red lights?

Or do you assume they're just a "bad driver" and forget about it?

Because the liklihood of "something" happening to kids in a car is FAR FAR FAR LESS than the liklihood of kids being killed due to reckless driving, either on the part of the parent driving (reaching to get dropped sippy/book/snack) or on the part of a stranger more concerned with their own value judgements than the responsibilities to the larger community on the road.
True that!!! You know ever since I read this forum a week back or so... I have thought about it everyday... It has really bugged me...No nightmares... Thank God!!! I have been thinking about what I would do in this situation... What would I do if ever in this situation??? At first after thinking hard, B4 I read this site... I actually probably would have called the cops or told someone in the store that worked there... But now I guess I would say I would probably wait there till the mom came out... Where I live in El Centro... Right now it still ranges in the 100's or higher 90's and probably will till next summer then it gets in the 110's-120's... So in this case I would definately try to get the kids to come out or call their mom on the cell... But I would think here that parents would be more cautious b/c it does get so hot...

kiwimutti- you know, I also sometimes feel guilty about leaving them in the car--strapped in--to go pay for my gas...but I still usually do(I rarely leave my house though) But there are other times I have felt an uneasiness and have hauled them both in just to be in there less than two minutes... I always take in the situation b4 I do it...

You know we can worry about our kids...but there is also taking it to the extreme...Although my parents would leave us in the car sometimes... I was the oldest of 6 kids.. They wouldn't let us do stuff with our friends very much b/c they "worried" about us... We resented them for that...so much that when I left the house.... I went crazy.... literally... i was a wild child and did everything my parents wouldn't let me do...for at least 1 1/2 years and then got pregnant... and that alone is what made me settle down... I quit partying and drinking and everything else for my kids... b/c they deserve that, but I hope that they never resent me b/c I worry so much and don't let them do anything...
I know this last paragraph doesn't really go with the whole kids left in the car/but kinda it does... I don't know, it just seems that some of you moms i would definately resent being my mom b/c you worry too much... I love my (step)mom so so so much...She is one of my best friends, but as a kid i resented her...I just think some of you should think about that...

Maybe I overstepped my limits.. and if I did I am sorry...

Kimberly
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#129 of 150 Old 10-14-2005, 03:29 PM
 
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I agree that the OP did the right thing. Too many strange people and things that can go wrong in a minute.
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#130 of 150 Old 10-14-2005, 06:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by UUMom
i think our society makes it nearly impossible for parents to do the simplest of errands. We don;t know anyone in the mega parking lots, and whenever we need the basics, we often have to drive miles to do so. We are tired, and we trust no neighbors, who might be willing to say "hey-- let me watch your kids for five freaking minutes while you return a piece of crap or get 5 minutes to yourself".

We have to do every freaking little thing by oursleves. With little kids in tow, who might not want to be there, and who crab so other mothers can think "why is that woman *here* with her kids!???"

This society is wrong. Period. I can't be talked out of that belief. To create community in this society takes a heap of effort, and not all folks are trusting of that, or up to the work.

If we had neighbors we accepted, imperfect as they might be, or if we lived in a society which accepted it was OK to leave the babes happily sleeping in prams, with sibs, whatever, we could get itshay done.

In our society we are supposed to keep the tile clean, keep the kids clean (god forbid they go into stores dirty) the dh's shirts clean, the house organized, and omg, never, ever, try to do an errand in the day with children in tow. Children who might not want to do errands.

That's garbage. Those are *wrong* expectations.

If we knew our neighbors, weren't forced to shop in huge malls, we would not have to do everything ourselves or have to call 911 on other unsupported mothers who drop the ball for a few frigging minutes.
Havn't read all the replies, but :
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#131 of 150 Old 10-14-2005, 11:57 PM
 
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It is ok that you did what you did.

I never left my babies in the car, even for 1 minute.

As far as reporting others to the police, that is up to you.

I personally wouldnt have done it unless they were in danger, like for heatstroke or car on fire, because I dont like the way millions of moms treat their kids(spanking, etc.) so if I was a reportng type person I would be reporting almost everyone.
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#132 of 150 Old 10-15-2005, 03:42 PM
 
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I would have called non-emergency police too. I think what you did was right.

My step brothers and I were left in a car parked, in gear, on a hill when we were about 6/7/8 yrs old while our parent ran into the DMV for a few minutes. We were into the Dukes of Hazzard and thought how fun it would be to play it for real. My brother told me to "shift it Daisy!" and I did, shifting the car out of gear. We started rolling backward down the hill and crashed into a brand new Cadillac. Everyone was ok, but I'll never forget it, and I'll never leave my kids alone in the car.
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#133 of 150 Old 10-15-2005, 04:10 PM
 
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to the OP, i think you did the right thing.
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#134 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 02:24 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Rowdypea
Jamie what happened to you and your brother gives me the chills! I remember being left in the car with my sister often. With the engine running too, if it was cold out. And my parents were very responsible. I guess that was the norm back then?? Seems strange now, though.
I was thinking about the same thing with my parents....
also VERY responsible people.....of course we didn't even have car seats back then and the baby was always in the front seat! :LOL

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#135 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 02:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by onlyzombiecat
To Op- I don't think you need to feel bad or apologetic for your actions. That was a tough situation.
:

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#136 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 02:32 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KristiMetz
.. there are MANY things that are far more likely to happen to children... getting struck by lightening, for example. Or, having an accident in the home. Or, something that is also horrible - being molested by a friend or relative.

Could it possibly be that the media has sensationalized kidnappings and "stranger danger" to the extent that it has become ingrained in all of us to be paranoid about a fear that is, not nonexistent, but very very slim?
So sad but true...

This was an interesting thread and really got me to think about my choices for mine and others' children...

Michelle, vegan mama to my two sweeties, L, 4/21/04 and C, 10/29/06 married to my Bryce for 20 years.

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#137 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 02:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ajsgirl
I would have called non-emergency police too. I think what you did was right.

My step brothers and I were left in a car parked, in gear, on a hill when we were about 6/7/8 yrs old while our parent ran into the DMV for a few minutes. We were into the Dukes of Hazzard and thought how fun it would be to play it for real. My brother told me to "shift it Daisy!" and I did, shifting the car out of gear. We started rolling backward down the hill and crashed into a brand new Cadillac. Everyone was ok, but I'll never forget it, and I'll never leave my kids alone in the car.
Isn't this the reason that cars now require you to depress the brake before shifting? You can't move the car unless you have the break on? So cars made post-1989 (or thereabouts) the "shift and then move" can't happen?

Every post where I read that their parents left them in the car, I can only imagine that it was a 1970s era car (yes, showing my age!) where kids being left = car moving. I just don't think that's true anymore. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
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#138 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 09:08 AM
 
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Originally Posted by momof4peppers
Isn't this the reason that cars now require you to depress the brake before shifting? You can't move the car unless you have the break on? So cars made post-1989 (or thereabouts) the "shift and then move" can't happen?

Every post where I read that their parents left them in the car, I can only imagine that it was a 1970s era car (yes, showing my age!) where kids being left = car moving. I just don't think that's true anymore. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
In our 2005 Honda Civic you can shift into neutral without pressing anything first.
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#139 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 09:44 AM
 
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We live in a society where children are abducted every day!!! A cell phone would be of little use if a stranger came along to abduct a child. Also if there were another typr of emergency like a child choking etc. the cell phone wouldn't do much good.
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#140 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 10:34 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by momof4peppers
Isn't this the reason that cars now require you to depress the brake before shifting? You can't move the car unless you have the break on? So cars made post-1989 (or thereabouts) the "shift and then move" can't happen?

Every post where I read that their parents left them in the car, I can only imagine that it was a 1970s era car (yes, showing my age!) where kids being left = car moving. I just don't think that's true anymore. Please correct me if I'm wrong!
Ah, yes... the very reason we'll never buy a Dodge again ... our 2000 Dodge Caravan (a gift from my father, although we paid the balance of the loan) can be put into drive with just a pull of the gear shifter. Of course the van has to be running, but still... to be able to engage the gears without depressing the brake!!! An accident waiting to happen!
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#141 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 11:13 AM
 
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velochic- pretty sure there was a recall on that a few years back. I'll poke around when I can, and see if I can find the info. But it was a number of minivans, not just the Dodge.

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#142 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 12:39 PM
 
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it doesn't matter if she forgot her credit card and ran in to get it, you should NEVER leave your kids in the car unattended. We live in an apt. first floor and our car is parked literally 25 feet from our front door and their have been at least 5 times that i got her all buckled in and forgot my cellphone. it's such a pain in the neck, but I unbuckle her and go in and get it. I don't need ANY of my neighbors seeing me leaving her in the car and I would never do that to her, ESPECIALLY in a mall parking lot. and yes, some pedaphile could steal the kids, or they could get hurt , etc. Really bad decison on the moms part. Heck, if there is a dog in the car on a warm day, I like to wait around for the owner and give them a piece of my mind!
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#143 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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Hmmm, I'm not sure what my opinion is yet....but I will say this.

My redcross CPR certified 9yo dd is VERY capable of taking care of an infant and younger sibling. If the middle child acted up my dd would have picked up her cell phone and called me. That being said I only leave the kids in the car while I'm at the walk up ATM machine or paying for gas. At home though, my dd cares for her younger sibling frequently, while i'm out mowing the lawn, walking the dogs etc.

-Heather

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#144 of 150 Old 10-16-2005, 11:07 PM
 
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I'm curious if there is anyone on this board who was left in a car with younger sibs to watch who would do the same thing to their kids? People who went through this as kids seem universal in their feeling that it is a mean thing to do to a child.
After about age 7 or 8, my parents frequently left my sister and I in the car, especially if we didn't feel like running in somewhere. The only time it was a problem is when they were gone for a lot longer than I expected and I started worrying about them. I much preferred staying in the car to doing my parents errands with them. My sister is about 17 months younger than me, btw.

And I also remember, when I was about 8 or 9 (couldn't have been more than 9 1/2, since we had moved from the house I remember by then), being left home alone for short periods during the day on a few occasions during the day when my parents went out. And my mom is biggest worrier I've ever met in my life. Or I thought she was until I read some of the posts here.

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#145 of 150 Old 10-17-2005, 11:21 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hopeland
We live in a society where children are abducted every day!!! A cell phone would be of little use if a stranger came along to abduct a child. Also if there were another typr of emergency like a child choking etc. the cell phone wouldn't do much good.
Children are abducted every day-- by their non-custodial parents. Very few children are abducted by strangers. IIRC, it's a heck of a lot less than 365/year; stranger abduction most assuredly does not happen every day. Not even close.

I don't know about anyone else, but by nine I had taken a CPR course at camp. We learned all sorts of recussitation techniques from a nurse who visited our school, too. It came right after fire safety month, iirc-- the general, "how to be safe if" course. Don't they teach these things to kids anymore?

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#146 of 150 Old 10-17-2005, 10:19 PM
 
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My daughter is two and she falls asleep alot when she rides in the car. I leave her in the car in my driveway when i get home from work sometimes because we live on a dead end road and i can see her from my front window. I know it's not the best idea but i try to be consious of weather(if it's xtreme hot/cold i bring her in). I always take her out at public places because of how busy the town/ shopping malls are. I wouldn't want what happened to the lady to happen to me. Also I think if you are going to leave a child in the car for a short amount of time(no longer than 10 min) they should be a responsible age (10&up) and have a "procedure" should anything occur (examp.child can dial 911 themselves and understands to "stay put" or how to responsibly find you--cross streets, goes to cust desk and has you paged).
Definately no infants left alone or in a car unless child of app.age with them-(14&up) . in response to the "snatching"- kids can get abducted even being right by there parents side so that is an unfair example.
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#147 of 150 Old 10-18-2005, 01:08 AM
 
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I think it is often enough not to leave kids in the car unsupervised!
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#148 of 150 Old 10-18-2005, 01:48 AM
 
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Thanks VeloChick and RedWine. I honestly believed that you couldn't switch gears without depressing the brake. And oddly, my 2005 Honda Pilot you MUST depress the brake to shift. I tried it today (sans kids!). (and I know that I couldn't shift without depressing my brake on my 1990 Acura - I foolishly called AAA because my car was running but wouldn't move. The mechanic was like 'lady, you're an idiot. you need to press the BRAKE first! insert best smack-head symbol here)

I wonder why it's different on the same-model year Civic? Wouldn't you think they would have the same requirements?
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#149 of 150 Old 10-18-2005, 04:54 PM
 
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To the OP - I would have done what you did. Try to find the mom, but if I couldn't, I would have called non emergency. Unless it was hot outside - then I probably wouldn't have taken the time to try to find the mom. JMHO.

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#150 of 150 Old 10-19-2005, 03:03 AM
 
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I may have asked the store to do an intercom call for a mom who left her kids in the car, though---
I have done this before with a woman that left her small child in the car whilst she went to do her shopping. Actually I have no idea who she is, but she's done it twice that I've seen when we've been there (she has a very old, very unusual car.)
We drive 100kms to do our shopping at a larger town, so I don't actually 'know' her.
The 2nd time it was in the middle of summer whilst I was sitting in the car with the doors open breastfeeding Ethan. I would have fed him in the shop, but a feeding a newborn on the window sill of the shop is no easy feat, (ended up doing it a couple of times when he was older & wanted a feed NOW )
Her car was parked next to mine, & this poor boy all of 2 was left there to sit & wait whilst his Mother went right through the shop (Woolworths, it takes us a hour to get through all the aisles.) She took in the daughter, but left him in the car (The first time that I saw her leave him she was pg.)
After 20 minutes I was horrified, took Ethan off the breast & went into the store, up to the Customer Service desk & I had it put over the loudspeaker, I could see her going through the checkout. She didn't hurry up, or go out & get him though until all her items had gone through.
If she hadn't of come out I would have deffinately called the police. The shop workers were all pretty stunned too. Australian summers are pretty darn hot, & the country town we shop in is inland & it just swelters.
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