My kids wont wear a coat!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 05:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well I guess they will come in when they get cold! It's about 58 out today and my ds, 4, is outside with a short sleeve shirt on!! He refuses to wear his coat (he had it on earlier w/ no complain) and it's useless to put one on b/c he'll just take it off. Anyone else have kids who go coatless? Am I a bad mom to let them???
Dd was the same way!! After a while I just gave up, too tired to fight that battle after years and years of it. It really makes me

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#2 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 05:51 PM
 
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I always insist that we have the coat with us, if we're going out, so the child can put it on as soon as he or she realizes it's cold. From toddlerhood I've trusted my children to know their own bodies and not wear a coat if they're too hot. We're going for a walk? Coat goes in the stroller. Going to school? Coat goes in the backpack. I don't force anybody to wear a coat once he or she is old enough to take it off.

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#3 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 06:03 PM
 
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Kids are in constant motion most of the time. It'd be like us raking leaves or running or something. They don't stand around like adults, they MOVE. So I don't think they get so cold.

I always tell me daughter that it's her body and only she can know if it's too warm or too cold. We also have a joke that "Mommy is cold, so YOU need to put on a coat." Works for DH, too. I think they'll be fine, more so if you don't make an issue of it and let them be in charge of their own feelings of warmth, cold, tired, hungry, etc.

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#4 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 06:18 PM
 
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What makes me is how random strangers make comments when my dd chooses not to wear her coat. I started out sort of apologetic, like, "Oh, she must have inherited dh's 'hot' genes, he wears short sleeves all winter. She never gets sick, though..." After years of comments, I've gotten a bit crankier.

Now that she is old enough to give things like different seasons and fashions some thought, she is a little more likely to dress "appropriately". But last night she came home from the laundromat wearing a sundress in 50-degree weather. Like I said, she never gets sick... :LOL

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#5 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 06:21 PM
 
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If it's not hurting them, why would it make you a bad mom? And why does it bother you?
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#6 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 06:48 PM
 
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If yuor kids are not cold, don't make them wear a coat. My DS is the same way! I just keep a jacket with me in case he gets cold. A virus will make your child sick, not the cold, rain or snow! When strangers make comments to me I simply say "He is not cold"!

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#7 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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bad mom, I dunno, maybe like I'm neglecting them by not insisting on it. It bothers me because I know the outcome: They will come inside five minutes later and go 'brrr!! its COLD' :LOL which is exactly what my ds did ten minutes after I started this thread!
I too, have had comments about it...mostly when my dd was younger, my mom would make comments, etc, but I soon realized that she knew her body. Just the other day, ds was outside with pants and sweatshirt but barefoot...my neighbor was over and said something but I just said "eh! He's fine!" That kid hates shoes! A few times he had splinters galore and scratches we had to bandage because he won't keep shoes on.
Picture a mom picking up socks from the yard all summer long...that's me!

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#8 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 07:56 PM
 
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I make my kids take one with them "just in case", they can tie it around their waist or whatever, but it's true that once they can take it off it's a lost cause. Like PP's said, they run around more than we adults do so are generally warmer. (When she comes inside and then says she's cold, she very well could be if she's toned her energy down inside.)
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#9 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 08:16 PM
 
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It has to be pretty cold for my Ds to wear one. Dd sometimes does, sometimes no. We leave it up to them. The comments from people do get old fast lol.

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#10 of 31 Old 10-11-2005, 10:55 PM
 
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I HATE to wear a coat. That said I do try to ask them to wear it, if they don't want to that is fine, but we bring it just in case and most of the time they are cold they put it on. At some point I think kids are old enough to know when they are hot or cold. You just have to know when that time comes for your child, kwim?

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#11 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 10:45 AM
 
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When I was a kid 60 degrees was swimming weather, so I don't think being outside in 58 without a coat is that bad.

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#12 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 11:15 AM
 
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I am very cold blooded - i freeze when it's 65! DD also hates wearing a coat so I dress her warmer. She tells me if she's hot or cold. Trust them to know their bodies. I am sure they aren't going to run around freezing. Older people will frown in this since they think you can catch pnemonia by sitting on cold grass. :
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#13 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 11:50 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sharlla
When I was a kid 60 degrees was swimming weather, so I don't think being outside in 58 without a coat is that bad.
Wow, that must have been cool. When I was a kid, my mom always told me, "You can get hypothermia in 60-degree weather!" To which I said, "Yeah, maybe if you were lying in a puddle naked." Apparently not. :LOL

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#14 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 12:18 PM
 
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I never wear a coat, even in the dead of winter (except when I take the dog out). We keep sweatshirts in the car, just in case, all year round. If my ds says he's not cold, I don't worry. He's smart enough to know when he needs to dress warmer. He's got his daddy's hot body, dh wears shorts all year too.
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#15 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 12:30 PM
 
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Thanks for this post... I've enjoyed reading it & feel better about not forcing my son to wear a blasted jacket when he doesn't want to wear one. It's just not a battle I want to fight. KWIM? I imagine when it gets to be 20 out, he'll want that jacket. He hates blankets, too. Must be warmer than me...
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#16 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 12:44 PM
 
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I never wear a coat either. If he's cold he'll put a coat on. I think you are a good mom if you let him decide how he feels and what he needs.
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#17 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 02:07 PM
 
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It's 40 and my kids wear sweatshirts and are just starting to wear their fleece jackets. He'll be fine.

One of my kids fought this battle w/mittens and now is a big mitten advocate...by choice.
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#18 of 31 Old 10-12-2005, 06:12 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Swimming in 60 degree weather? Yup, both my kids swam in our lake a WEEK after it thawed!! I know my mom was me about that one! LOL

They must just run hot like their daddy. He never wears a coat OR socks all winter! And we are in Michigan!! I think he did wear socks more last year (he wears them to his job though).

I'm cold all the time, but I sweat buckets at night.

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#19 of 31 Old 10-13-2005, 01:13 PM
 
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oh, this is a huge issue for me, we were out the other day with lil' man and it was about 60, pants, and long sleeves, no shoes or socks; he takes them off before I even get him fastened in the car seat. People stare, make comments; he just hates clothes. My lil' guy is only 14 mo old though, thankfully he hasn't fully figured out how to take off his other clothes yet...

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#20 of 31 Old 10-14-2005, 11:01 PM
 
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Why should your kids wear a coat when "YOU" get cold? Bring a coat along, if "they" get cold, they will put it on.
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#21 of 31 Old 10-15-2005, 04:06 AM
 
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Before I got pregnant the first time, I was one of those people who was *freezing* all the time. I had a friend who used to laugh his butt off at me-- I would be wearing a parka, heavy jeans, boots, gloves and a scarf and he'd be wearing shorts and (maybe) a sweatshirt. He said that the problem was Brown fat, and this is what I've learned:

When a child is forced to wear a coat when they don't need one, or a child is raised in a consistantly warm environment, they lose the layer of fat that's designed to keep them warm. You can't ever grow more of this fat-- once it's gone, the only way to deal with cold weather is to either a) build up a tolerance or b) pack on the layers. :LOL In other words, every time my mother made me put on a jacket when I wasn't actually cold enough to need one, that fat layer was breaking down more and more until I eventually needed a jacket in weather that was even vaguely chilly. As a result, I required a seriously expensive jacket just to be able to function out of doors (and do things like walk from classes to the bus stop) at all when the temperature dropped below 40 degrees. I will never ever force my children to wear jackets because I'm cold; I just keep a jacket or sweatshirt in the car for each of them, just as I keep a sweater for myself all year round, in case it gets chilly.

My kids have very different ways of dealing with heat. BooBah is completely incapable of functioning if she gets too hot. She refuses to sleep under blankets *at all* unless she's sick or the temperature in the room is around 55 (at which point she may or may not concede to a sheet). When the ILs air conditioning went out, BooBah was unable to sleep at all-- she spent the whole night screaming in frustration and only fell asleep when I put her in the car and turned the AC on for her, poor kid. Even now, at 15 months, I trust her judgement: if she's cold, she'll ask for more clothing and if she's warm, she'll peel layers off (everything but her shoes, she loves her shoes.. :LOL).

BeanBean tends to run warm and doesn't notice cold weather until it gets below 50. He'll often take note of a chill in the air but be perfectly content to wear a jacket or not wear one, based on my suggestion. The big difference between BeanBean and his sister is that he *prefers* to be very warm to being chilled; he'd rather have an extra layer on than not. BeanBean is perfectly content to put on a blanket sleeper in the middle of August, and he will not under any circumstances sleep without a blanket, even if the only blanket available is unbearably warm and it's very warm in the room. This can be a big problem when he wants to sleep on your lap outdoors in the middle of July, and the only blanket he can find is a giant, heavy quilt sewn by one of his great-grandmothers. :LOL

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#22 of 31 Old 10-15-2005, 04:22 AM
 
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Shoot, if it makes you feel better, 58 is still *shorts weather* here in AK. :LOL Body temperature is such a funny thing.
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#23 of 31 Old 10-15-2005, 11:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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50's is short weather here too (Michigan) but more so in the spring after the snow melts, five or six months of snow makes people a bit nutty I think. :LOL
I have eased up on it (for my own sake too) it's really a battle not worth fighting. Thanks for all the replies.
Interesting about the brown fat. Our house was always warm. Dh hates a warm house, says it's ROASTING in here! Very dramatically too. My mom has said I don't know how you can live like that, when I tell her he keeps the thermastat on 66 or 67 in the winters (sub zero and wind!) and she keeps her condo at a toasty 74! After ten years of being married to him, I've acclimated I think, cause 74 feels very warm to me, for room temp. I prefer 70 and keep it at that when he is gone, or 69.
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#24 of 31 Old 10-16-2005, 03:34 PM
 
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As a kindergarten teacher, I have a tough time with this! There are days that I feel it is fine for the children to be out without coats, but some parents feel differently. Often it is chilly in the morning but warms up by recess time. I hate the phone call that says "My son said he didn't wear his coat at recess..." On "iffy" days, I usually resort to letting the children choose whether or not to wear the coat. The tricky part is that at our school (a very large public elementary school), the children are not supposed to come back into the building during recess to get a coat if they decide they need one, nor are they supposed to take their coat off on the playground if they are wearing one. The best solution I've found is to have them tie their coat around their waist before they go out. That way it is there if they need it. However, how many 5-year-olds do you know who leave a coat tied around their waist as they play?

Since my ds is only 11 1/2 weeks old, this has yet to be an issue in my own household.

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#25 of 31 Old 10-16-2005, 07:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's what my dd does, she ties it around her waist.

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#26 of 31 Old 10-19-2005, 02:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cherylannl
Why should your kids wear a coat when "YOU" get cold? Bring a coat along, if "they" get cold, they will put it on.
It's a JOKE in our house. You! Put a coat on. I'm cold!

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#27 of 31 Old 10-19-2005, 11:30 PM
 
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Agreeing with manay PP's here....let him go without a coat...getting cold due to being underdressed is about the most "natural" consequence there is in life and a great way to teach your child responsibility. Worst case scenario...he's cold. Big whup. Not a safety issue...let it go! (assuming he's not trying to go outside w/out a coat in like 10 degree weather or something..you know)

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#28 of 31 Old 10-20-2005, 05:41 PM
 
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I stopped trying to get my ds to wear a coat at around a year and a half. One thing that I have started doing this year is give him information. "a coat is up to you. If you decide not to wear a coat you might feel cold faster and wish to come inside faster" or "shoes might make you feel warmer" I then let him make his own decision, and always bring the rejected article of clothing for him.

Children deserve the respect of puzzling it out.
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#29 of 31 Old 10-22-2005, 06:25 AM
 
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My daughter hated wearing coats when she was little. When she could finally express herself in words, she told me that she felt "lumpy." She likes to wear layers instead of one big "lumpy" coat.
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#30 of 31 Old 10-22-2005, 12:59 PM
 
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I don't force my ds to wear his coat, I just bring it with us. However, we don't make it past the front steps without him wanting it on, lol.
Last winter he played outside in the snow with no mittens, he hated mittens with a passion. We could only stay out 10 minutes or so so he didn't get frostbite. If he wanted to stay out longer, he had to wear the mittens. He also wore workboots instead of snowboots, he just hated the big clunky boots.
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