My 2yo has a friend of the same age, who is very opposite in mannerisms.- I would like some thoughts on having two children of such differing temperments playing together. The other girl's mom and I have been friends since we met in the childbirth classes. Her dd is very quiet, shy and doesn't really say much to stick up for herself. My dd, on the other hand is very spirited, boisterous, and is constantly trying to engage this girl into some more active type of play. I always seem to feel bad after play dates, because I feel like I am constantly trying to make sure that my daughter's actions are not going to hurt this girls feelings. I do want to say, in my daughter's favor, she has played with other kids without these problems. I think that part of the problem that the other child is extremely reserved. But of course, our society seems to like "good, sweet, quiet" children.
I want my dd to learn how to channel her energy, and make it work for her when it comes to making friends and playing.
Somehow, I am worried that constantly interfering with her is going to break her down, and make her stop enjoying having a friend around. For example, she will run to the girl to give her a hug, and the girl just stands there kind of freaked out. I will tell her to play soft with her, not all people like to be so rough. Also, the girl will be standing doing nothing, and dd will gently push her, as if to nudge her into action. While she is not being mean, I feel the need to find a way to teach her to respect other people's boundaries.
In addition to this, has taken to saying "go away" whenever she is feeling upset or even just tired and irritable. She says it to me, dh, the baby, the cat, even her toys. While I realize this is a normal toddler behavior, I would like some suggestions for dealing with this type of expression in a way that respects her feelings, but makes it clear to her that it is not an appropriate behavior. Today she did it during her playdate with her little friend, who is very quiet and sensitive. I feel bad that she hurt her friend's feelings.