It's taken me two Mike's Limeades to get the guts to type this message.
I know this doesn't belong in TAO< (Irish, I'm sorry), but I can't figure out where it *should* go. GD, maybe, but it isn't really a discipline issue...The Childhood Years, possibly. Parenting Challenges...who knows....and just to let you know, this is going to get long, so grab a cup of tea, coffee, beer, whatever.
My ds attacked me tonight. I don't mean verbally. I mean, the child assaulted me. We went to town to run to Target and grab a couple of things and then ds had hockey. They asked for McD's and I said yes, so we went through the drive through on the way to hockey. Ds got angry because the girls weren't being quiet. He was trying to say something, and while he had my full attention, they were still talking and he was angry. So he started yelling. We are on the way to hockey at that point. I asked him to please not shout in the car and that it wasn't necessary for them to stop talking, I could hear him just fine. He wasn't happy with that, and kept yelling louder and louder at them. I told him that this wasn't a respectful way to treat them and to please stop or we would go home instead of going to hockey. At which point, he screamed "SHUT UP!" We were just getting ready to turn into the ice rink at that point and I kept driving. ( a little background, ds has been turning violent with everyone recently, he hit one sister and kicked and shoved the other one just yesterday...yes, I am aware that we are dealing with massive anger issues, he is seeing a therapist...so please don't lecture me on that. ) He lost it. He flew out of his carseat and started clawing at the back of my head. I pulled over to the side of the road and told him that I wasn't driving anywhere until he was in his carseat as "Safety Rules Are Not Negotiable" (a key phrase in our house). He continued to scream and hit me. I went to the back of the van and put him in his carseat and tried to buckle him in. He kept hitting and screaming at me. I pinned both his arms, and he started kicking me. I realized at this point that he was completely out of control and he needed to be at home in a safe place to have a fit. So I told him to get in his carseat. I started driving and I realized that he thought he was getting his way because when I didn't go back towards the ice rink, he flipped again. He got out of his seat again and started hitting me in the back of the head, yelling "I hate you, you stupid woman, I wish you were dead" over and over and over again. He grabbed my hair and yanked and I almost hit another car head on. I was in the process of pulling over before he did that, but at that point, I just slammed on the brakes and shoved him back so I could at least see and pulled over to the side of the road. He's still screaming "I hate you" and "I wish you were dead" He starts to get out of the van, and tries to run across a busy road at dust. I freaked out and picked him up and put him in the van. Just to be clear, I was NOT gentle with him. He proceeded to hit me and shove and kick me. I pinned his arms with my hand and tried to get on his level to talk to him and he lunged at me with his teeth bared, he tried to bite my face. So I held him with my hands, and he bit my hands over and over and over, to leave teeth marks and bruises are now appearing.
Now, I'm screaming and crying and not having any idea what to do with him. I can't let him continue like this. I can't calm him down. I can't help him. The girls are witnessing all of this. I called his godfather. I told him that ds is completely out of control and what sort of things he was doing....I was not coherent, but I got the point across. He just said "put him on the phone" I held the phone to his ear with one hand, while he continued to bite me with the other while kicking me in the stomach. Within seconds, he wasn't screaming at me...he stopped biting me...he let go of me and sat back in his carseat. He buckled himself in. And then he said "okay, bye" and looked at me. I shut the door and put the phone to my ear. His godfather said "are you okay?" And I told him that I thought I would be okay and he said "I told him that if he didn't behave like a perfect angel, that I was coming over there to whip him when you got home, whether you approve of it or not. That he will NOT treat you like that" and I was just dumbfounded....this is the man who has *never* laid a hand on his own son. Never. Ever. He asked me to call when we got home to let him know we were safe.
Ds and I have talked about it. He says that he understands why he cannot behave like that. But I asked him if the only reason he calmed down was because he was afraid of his godfather and he looked really sad and nodded.
I just don't know how to process this. I have talked to a very good friend on the phone about it tonight....but I can't get a hold of dh and I am just so shaken and hurt and angry and scared. He literally could have killed us. I could so easily have hit that other car head on.....injuring or killing the people in both cars....my hand hurts, my head hurts. I feel like I've been beaten. By my 7 yr old. But he's seven. He's a baby. He's MY baby. I dont' know. I just can't process this. I'm heartbroken. And I don't know what to do.