ME time (as in time for just YOU) - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 01-25-2003, 12:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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**so i also posted this in Parents as Partners, but didn't want it to get missed if you don't go to that forum also--


do you get it? time when you are alone, doing something YOU LIKE TO DO, without your kid/s with you?

who is watching the kids?

do you make sure you get ME time at specified/regular/routine times?

does your parenting partner make sure you get it?

do you feel guilty when you do make plans w/o significant other or kids?

what do you do for your ME time?


i know that i need ME time. and i do make sure to get it now, but it hasn't always been this way and i do feel for mommas who don't have time to recharge! but then i also feel guilty for wanting it, i feel bad for feeling like i need it.

anyone??


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#2 of 11 Old 01-25-2003, 12:39 AM
 
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I get "Me" time in the evenings. My girls go to bed at 6:45 pm and Dh is at work so I am alone all evening. Most of the evening I just play on the computer & watch tv. I go out sans children and dh once every, oh, 6 or more months or so.
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#3 of 11 Old 01-25-2003, 01:56 PM
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I am a divorced mama so I get a bit of me time. I usually go to the movies or walk around the city or eat at a place where I know it would be difficult to take dd.
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#4 of 11 Old 01-25-2003, 02:32 PM
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Batty,

Don't feel bad for wanting "me" time. We mama's do so much for our babe's every day -- it's only natural to want a little time to recharge. Even if that means going to the bathroom all by yourself .

Just this week I made a schedule of days that dh could watch dd for an hour while I used our building's fitness center. It has been an amazing boost for my self-esteem and, quite frankly, makes me a better mother the rest of the day.
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#5 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 02:23 AM
 
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a stamping class which meets once a month for 2 hours.My DH watches our daughter.I get to be creative and talk with other adults about something other than parenting stuff.We are making scrapbooks so I can preserve our familys memories.This way I don't feel guilty for my time away.

Linda
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#6 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 02:31 AM
 
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ME time is essential to my well being. I can start to feel steam coming out of my ears if I don't get it. (ok not really, but almost)
Tuesday evening is my "night off" dh watches the kids and I go and run errands if there's something that I really have to do or just feel like shopping without interruptions, see a movie, meet a friend for "not coffee", etc. My husband gets Saturday nights off, so I don't feel a bit guilty about taking that time that I need. I also have a once a month book group, and I am going to start with the community band, which will be two Sunday afternoons a month. I think of is as being something is beneficial to our entire family because I am such a better parent and partner when I get it.
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#7 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 02:37 AM
 
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This is "me" time. Being on the computer. That's really about it.

DD is still breastfed and I've never given her a bottle, so I cannot be away from her for long, and frankly I don't really want to be right now. I know that I will have more ME time soon, when she starts being able to use a sippy cup to take some EBM, but for now I am not comfortable leaving DD alone for more than a few minutes.

I don't feel guilty for wanting ME time b/c right now that just means that DH watches her and I'm here if she needs to nurse or something, but I can just relax and concentrate on something else for a change. To get one hour of this is heaven for me. DH is lousy at offering, but he's usually happy to take her if I ask. My problem is for some stupid reason I feel guilty asking. So then it kind of builds up in me and then I just sort of "dump" her off on him, lol. Like I expect him to offer and I 'spose I just have to accept that he just doesn't "get" it and it's okay for me to ask.

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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#8 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 10:50 AM
 
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Ahhh-the ME time dilemma! I am going through this right now. My DS is 1 year old and I am just recently feeling like I have some room to breathe. (He is still breastfed, but that has significantly decreased in recent months-although most days it is still at least 6-8x/day).

It is SUCH a dilemma b/c I do struggle with the guilt thing, but I KNOW I need the ME time, and not just those precious moments at the end of the day when I collapse on the couch. I'm talking something creative, or SOMETHING to benefit my SOUL or to help me GROW. It is hard b/c my DH works LONG hours and does not get home until after 7pm.

I have one friend who has two kids and takes NO time for herself at all. If I think of that example, I would stay in the guilt and not do anything. But, I grew up with a mother who was a total martyr and did not do anything for herself and that has left me with a strange legacy. I really believe that one of the best things you can give your kids is a sense of a full life. Of course, we all adore our kids and they are our focus, especially when they are young, but they NEED to see us try to achieve OUR full potential. Even if that's just taking an hour a week for ourselves.

I have 20 lbs. to lose to get back to pre-pregnancy weight-so something physical will be perfect for me. I am also taking a cooking class next month that just meets 1x for two hours, but I'm already looking forward to it.

I think it's INTEGRAL to being a good mom-I just have trouble making it a reality. Thanks for this post.
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#9 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 10:56 AM
 
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This is it. Here. And I don't go to other boards, really, just MDC. I like my "me" time to be consistent. (except for those danged database errors, they mess with my "me" time)

And it's usually at 3 a.m., when I take a break from work (WAHM stuff).

Though it's regularly with a baby in the sling. Easier to get work done that way.

A movie would be nice ... maybe someday ...

- Amy
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#10 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 01:58 PM
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Oh, Piglet, I can relate!

I thought it was just me that had to ask dh to watch dd for a few minutes. He never minds doing so, but never asks. :
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#11 of 11 Old 01-26-2003, 02:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i didn't start to get ME time until DD was about 18 mo old, as she was such a constant nurser and such a momma's girl. and by the time DD was 18 months old, i had already been a mom for 3 1/2 yrs, as DS is 2 yrs older than DD.

but then i just had it, and was so mad at and jealous of DH's time, time to play soccer, time for soccer practice, time to drive alone w/o kids.

so we worked out a every other friday thing. and it is great. and then once he couldn't play soccer outside anymore, he said i could have every friday. i don't, b/c then i feel REALLY GUILTY, but i do try to get out every other friday to the local scrapbook store to work on the kids' photo journal scrapbooks.

and yes, the ME time is essential to a momma! so get it!!
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