Better to move at age 3 or age 4? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 12:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband is a physicist who is currently a couple of years into a 5-year postdoc position. He has been getting a lot of interest and has applied for some of the more appealing jobs that were brought to his attention. If he gets an offer, he will probably have the option to defer for a year (stay in his current job and start the new job a year later than normally.)

My daughter will be almost 3 if he accepted a job to start this year (fall 2003), or almost 4 if he deferred (fall 2004). We like where we live very much; the jobs he applied for are also places we would like to live. So in many ways it comes down to what would be better for my dd. (And this is all assuming he gets an offer, which is hardly a certainty.)

Is 3 or 4 a better age to move?
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#2 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 01:04 PM
 
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When my sister's dd and my ds were 3 we moved away from each other. Our kids had a very hard time with the move, the seperation, and we had both moved out of my mom's house, and away from each other.

My mom then looked up some where (I have no clue where) but she read that at age 3, it is the hardest age for moving and seperations. that they still take very thing personally, and don't quit get why they are being moved.

Now my mom could have just stated all of that because she really didn't want us gone, but that is what I was told. And my ds is 6 now, and he does talk about why we moved and how he wishes we would have stayed.
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#3 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 01:14 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ack.

Good news is that for at least one of the jobs (in Minnesota, actually) we would be moving TO the same city as her grandparents (my parents.) She has one good friend here, but she loves her grandparents and I'd hope that would mitigate things. (?)
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#4 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 02:07 PM
 
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I have moved with my girls at basically each age (they are now 7.5, 6 and 4.5) and I haven't seen a difference at all. I don't think there is necessarily a "better" age to move except maybe before they are born. :LOL

I'm sure your dd will be just fine no matter when you move!
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#5 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 02:34 PM
 
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I moved at 2, 3, and 4 (military father) and I wasn't traumatized by any of those moves. The much harder moves came later on, when I was in school and moving meant leaving my friends and my school activities. When I was little, though, home and my parents were the center of the universe, so as long as I was where they were, it didn't really matter where we were, KWIM? Also, I think my mom's positive attitudes towards the moves really made a big difference in making them something to look forward to, rather than something to fear.

Good luck, I agree that your daughter will in all likelihood be fine moving at either age!

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#6 of 6 Old 01-30-2003, 03:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It looks like it may be that there is no significant difference between 3 and 4 -- would love to get more info on that, if so.
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