A good way to shut people up when they criticize your AP methods - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 4 Old 01-30-2003, 03:27 PM - Thread Starter
TranscendentalMom's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Heart Chakra
Posts: 2,565
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I finally figured out an effective method of getting my point across when people give me anti-AP advice. Last weekend my SIL came to visit from out of state to meet her nephew - our 3 month old. Almost the whole weekend she confided in me with accounts of how her parents were so aloof & unloving to her and my husband, how they never took an interest in her interests, etc. I spoke with her last night and she was telling us how much she enjoyed the visit blah blah blah, but threw in a comment, "You sure give Luke a lot of attention - he's going to expect that when he gets older, you know." So I said, "well, we don't want him to grow up and feel unloved and unsupported the way that you guys did." SHUT HER RIGHT UP!!!! I realized that most people I know have feelings that their parents were distant since most people were parented with mainstream methods - yet at the same time they feel the appropriate way to parent is to give your children minimal attention. Proof that people don't empathize with babies, they seem them as objects, not human like themselves. I realized though, if you just bring the point back to them, and the way they were parented - you can drive the point home very effectively!

"We shape the clay into a pot but it is the emptiness inside that holds whatever we want" Lao Tzu
TranscendentalMom is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 4 Old 01-30-2003, 03:41 PM
Elphaba's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 6,388
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
yep. whenever people start to talk about spanking, i just say quietly, "well, my parents hit us, and i hated them for years, totally cut them out of my life for 3+ years, and still wouldn't trust them with my feelings, and i want a better relationship than that with shoshanna."
there's not much they can say to that.
Elphaba is offline  
#3 of 4 Old 01-31-2003, 09:33 PM
WickidaWitch's Avatar
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Not here
Posts: 6,371
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I get crap from my mother all the time. My fault, I should learn not to tell her things.
I tell her, You parented your way I will parent mine. They're my kids.
WickidaWitch is offline  
#4 of 4 Old 02-01-2003, 03:36 AM
teachma's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: My new house!
Posts: 4,572
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Lots of times, people remark that our child has such a happy disposition, eagnerness to learn, and overall independence. Commonly, they go on to eventually criticize my parenting approach, "Still nursing?" "When will he sleep by himself?" My retort is usually something like, "How could you possibly question my style of parenting after saying I had the best kid ever???? It obviously works for him; why would I tamper with proven success?" People can be sooo idiotic!
teachma is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Online Users: 11,813

21 members and 11,792 guests
beedub , conzy , debigebi , Deborah , girlspn , happy-mama , healthy momma , katelove , Lana Sussman , lauren , Leelee3 , mama24-7 , Mirzam , mumto1 , NaturallyKait , RollerCoasterMama , scaramouche131 , Springshowers , stream26
Most users ever online was 449,755, 06-25-2014 at 12:21 PM.