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Parenting > The Overlooked Healing Benefits of Crying
AllisonR's Avatar AllisonR 09:56 AM 09-04-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by M&Mmommy View Post
Many people nod along until they hear that nursing to stop a child from crying is also short-circuiting the healing. After all, nursing is part nourishment, part comfort. However, putting a breast in a baby's mouth when she is crying because (unbeknowst to anyone) the way her blankets are wrapped around her legs is bringing up the scary sensations she experienced during birth, causes her to stop offloading the feelings. On the other hand, if her mother would hold her in arms, soothingly reminding her that she is safe, that it's okay to let out all her fears and cry, she would work through and be able to see that this situation, though reminiscent of a scary situation, isn't dangerous. And moreover, that it is safe to have scary feelings and let them out. No need to push them down, run from them, or be threatened by uncomfortable feelings.
This would require a mother to be omnipotent. And unfortunatly (or fortunately) we are not. So we guess, we try the breast, try stomach massage, try to rock, try to see if some physical problem like an ear infection..... and if the babe still cries, then perhaps it is an emotional issue that needs getting out, by way of crying. But darned if I am going to sit back and let my DD CIO, under the assumption it is emotional trauma, until I have tried all the other pratical and physical issues first.

M&Mmommy, I did like your story about how your own DC needed this outlet (and then age to verbally express it and process it). But I hope you meant it as a story about YOUR babe, not a policy other mothers should follow. Each babe is different. Some may need this outlet. Many others may not.

Viewfinder's Avatar Viewfinder 08:14 PM 09-04-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllisonR View Post
This would require a mother to be omnipotent. And unfortunatly (or fortunately) we are not. So we guess, we try the breast, try stomach massage, try to rock, try to see if some physical problem like an ear infection..... and if the babe still cries, then perhaps it is an emotional issue that needs getting out, by way of crying. But darned if I am going to sit back and let my DD CIO, under the assumption it is emotional trauma, until I have tried all the other pratical and physical issues first.

M&Mmommy, I did like your story about how your own DC needed this outlet (and then age to verbally express it and process it). But I hope you meant it as a story about YOUR babe, not a policy other mothers should follow. Each babe is different. Some may need this outlet. Many others may not.
I learned (in a book) how to see the signals my baby gave me to know that she needed to offload feelings by crying. People have researched this, and like many things we learn from researchers, they turn out to be true and the theories they present work in practice. It's like hearing someone yelling at you in French or Farsi when you've never heard it before: they're SAYING something but you don't know what it is because you have not learned.

VF

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