Support for mamas of two under two - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 11:11 AM - Thread Starter
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OK mamas, I just found out I am pregant with my second baby and my first turned one less than a week ago.

Recently there was a thread on this board which was pretty harsh about mamas with closely-spaced babies.

I'd love to hear from other mamas with *positive* experiences with closely-spaced babies. OK? What is great about babies close together in age? Please bring on the sharing!
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#2 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 01:42 PM
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( after secondary IF)
are 15 months apart. Let's see at one point they wore the same size diaper ( that was easier lol)
They are VERY bonded. They fight sometimes like cats and dogs but if one of the other siblings or an outsider tries the other becomes the equivalent of a mama bear
I have two Carter's slings -that now hang unused in my closet snf they only go to 40lbs and I enjoyed having both slings with both boys and when the younger got older it got easier because I could do the hip carry with both
Cosleeping was great with both
fixing one dish/meal that was easily halved instead of two
I will try and think of some more later ...
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#3 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 02:03 PM
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Hi One Trick Pony, my boys are spaced about the same as your children will be. Let's see:

-First off, don't forget, you have 10 full moons before your next babe arrives. Your first will be much "older" by then.
-Involve dp as much as possible with dc#1. So when dc#2 comes along, dc#1 will feel that much closer to your dp.
-My dh handled bed time (we all co-sleep) with ds#1 when ds#2 was a colicky infant.
-Take dc#1 to mid wife/doctor appointments
-Don't worry about what the house looks like, just play, nurse, and hold your children.
-The sling is essential to my daily life. How else could I nurse my ds#2 down for a nap while kicking a soccer ball around the yard with ds#1?
-Take any help that is offered to you.

To be honest, it was hard for me at first and I felt a bit overwhelmed. When ds#2 hit the 6 month mark, things just kept getting better and better. The first thing they do when they open their eyes in the morning is seek the other one out, wake each other up, and roll around in the family bed hugging and laughing.

Feel free to PM me any time.
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#4 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 08:08 PM
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I'm so interested inthis thread because my little ones will i\only be 20-21 months apart as well. There are days right now where I feel like I'm not handling one very well, let alone two! (Bring on the pregnancy hormones!) But what's fun is when my little dd points to my tummy and says "baby!" And we didn't teach her that either!

Violin teaching, doula-ing Mom to Abby, (8) Ashlynn, (6) : and Max (11/13/08) Diagnosed with Metopic Craniosynostosis. First surgery 5/1/09, Second surgery March 2010.
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#5 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 08:21 PM
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I'm due in July with twins...when they get here my eldest, Fiona, will be 18 mos. old.

I've got a few friends with closely spaced kids, and they all seem to love it. It seems universal that it's pretty hard at first, but once they're out of the newborn stage it's nice. And both the moms I know with older closely spaced kids say it's great.

I'm really looking forward to this! We planned on the spacing (though not on the twins). I try not to worry too much about sibling issues yet, just concentrating on hanging out, cuddling, nursing, and playing with my daughter, and getting more regular adult friends into her life so when the boys come she will have plenty of people to dote on her as well as us.

Be prepared for a lot of rude comments though. :P My OB is really cool, but when I had to go to the ER a few months ago, the triage nurse was really rude. I tried to explain I didn't know my due date because I'd not been seen and didn't know my last period because they were really scant and infrequent since I was nursing, and she actually rolled her eye and said "Nursing isn't a form of birth control. Didn't you know that?" And some family members have been teasing us, but nothing all that bad.

I think the benefits outweigh the negatives....but I guess we'll see when the babes actuall get here, right?
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#6 of 13 Old 02-01-2003, 10:08 PM
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My two are 21 1/2 months apart. It is really hard but there are many good things too. DS was so young when DD was born (almost 3 months ago) that he now doesn't remember a time when she wasn't here. Whenever I go lay her down for a nap or take her somewhere without him he walks around saying, "where's Olivia, where's Olivia." He loves to give her hugs and kisses and bring Mommy the breastfeeding pillow. I've only been doing this for 3 months so I don't havea lot of the benefits yet but some advice: don't allow yourself to feel guilty that you have changed the first one's world. I did that for the first month or so and ended up being stressed and depressed and giving both kids the worst of me. I used to try and put her down so I could be alone with him but she doesn't like to be put down and nurses every 1-1 1/2 so I just finally realized that yes it is different now, no it will never be the same for DS, but that's okay. Now he has a sibling who he will grow with and change with and that's just as wonderful as having mommy all to himself. Good luck to you!

Shawna, married to Michael, mommy to Elijah 1/18/01, Olivia 11/9/02, and Eliana 1/22/06
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#7 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 12:05 AM
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This thread is great..I am do in about 2 months and my little one will be on 14 month! I wonder how I'll be able to give my ds all the attention he has been used to and still love the new baby..poor kid!!
I'm sure we'll pull through the first tough months and hopefull things'll get better!
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#8 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 02:55 AM
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I have 3 DDs, I found out I was pregnant w/the second two just after the prior kids first b-day. Maria and Carmen are 21 months apart, Carmen and Isabel are 22 months apart.

I LOVE the spacing! It was definitely not what I'd call easy, but I do have to say I cannot remember even one single day that was harder than I expected and many days were easier. It definitely gets better at 6 months and got much better at 1 year for me (of course that's just when I find out I'm pregnant again LOL!). Also, transitioning from 2-3 has been much easier for me than 1-2 was. Routine was the key to an easy transition. When DD2 came along, DD1 was in her routine and that made life easier. When DD3 came along, DD1 and DD2 stayed in their routine and that continued to make life easier. I don't know what I would have done w/out that routine to keep me going. Make no mistake, my kids are NOT scheduled, I BF on demand, we go w/the flow, but we have a predictable pattern of life around these parts based on my kids own natural schedules and that is irreplacable!

My older girls share each other's clothes already. They play w/the same toys. They enjoy the same types of activities. DD1 was out of diapers by the time I found out I was pregnant w/DD3 so that helps too. I just love the closeknit family.

I did have some feelings of "losing my baby (DD1)" when DD2 arrived b/c DD2 was very high maintenance and I'm a SAHM so I wasn't used to sub-dividing my time b/t people and missed my DD1 being my baby at first. So my advice would be, yes, take time to bond w/the baby, but also schedule time for someone else to take the baby for an hour or two in those early days/weeks/months and spend one-on-one time w/your oldest and first baby

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do b/c I think it's great and wouldn't have it any other way. I feel it gave my DDs enough time to "be the baby", but not so much time that getting a new sibling rocked their world b/c they had *too* much time being the baby. Just MHO...

WOHM married to SAHD, living the dream w/our: 3 girls (14,12,10) and 3 boys (7,5,3) and tie-breaker due Jan 2014

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#9 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 08:21 AM
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Thank goodness

I am also preg with #2, and dd will be 14 months when s/he arrives (hi rickyjake!). I have been freaking out a bit, and it's so comforting just knowing there are others out there, and that they "made it" and their kids actually like them, and like each other.

I feel so much better now, and even though there will be times I feel like I'm drowning, I look forward to my kids being excellent friends

Are we officially a "tribe"?

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#10 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 08:59 AM
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I thought of something else that kept me connected with ds#1 in the beginning. I would nurse ds#2 and then if there were any quick errands to be run (the bank, grocery store, video store, and pharmacy are within 5 minutes from our house), ds#1 and I would leave the house together for a half hour. It truly is those little things in the beginning. Those little getaways together meant so much to me and to ds#1 at the time.
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#11 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 02:00 PM
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I'm another one with closely spaced children, and I also love it. My two daughters are 19 months apart. Again - the early days can be tiring - but then, life with a new baby is always tiring, so...!

And now it is great - I love it that the girls always have a playmate. They have their moments, but for the most part, they play well together, and they always seek each other out.

I'm pregnant with #3 now (due in September), so there will be close to 2 1/2 years between #2 and #3 - I do sometimes worry that #3 will feel a bit left out... Maybe that's just a good reason to have a #4 right after #3!)

My mom had 3 of us in 3 years - and she says that for the first 3 months, she walked around like a zombie, wondering what she'd done (after #3 came along). But once that part was over, she loved it. And I have great memories of the three of us playing together a lot as children...that's one of the reasons I wanted to have mine close together - I had such a great experience as a child having sibilings very close in age.

So the oldest children don't have to lose out.
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#12 of 13 Old 02-02-2003, 09:18 PM
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My older was 21 months when my younger was born, and although it was hard for me to adjust in the beginning, I think it's wonderful to watch them together. They are buddies and they get together to plot against DH and I and are just a ton of fun to watch. They tumble around and they play together, and I think that in a few more months time, when dd's language gets a little better, they're going to be even closer. It can be hard early on. That's what I hear most from other mothers of closely spaced children, but it totally pays off by one year I think. And now that dd is almost two years old, it's all fun and good.
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#13 of 13 Old 02-06-2003, 12:12 AM
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Didn't have time to read all the posts so sorry if I repeat

I have 2 energetic boys 2 yrs and 9 months with another due in June!! It was crazy at first but now it's wonderful. They play all day and wear each other out.

I was nervous about having #3 but my first 2 have kind of "blended" into one- they take care of each other.

Good luck to you!!
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