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#1 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 01:00 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What are your feelings on nudity?
I was thinking about this because I've always loved to sleep naked. I cosleep w/ our 1 yo ds, and I was wondering about nudity and cosleeping as he gets older.
Also, how do you feel about nudity in the home- like, lets say, walking to the shower naked, changing openly,etc? I'm referring more to that topic for nudity w/ children who are older than toddlers.
I want to raise ds to feel comfortable w/ his body and w/ seeing other naked bodies, but I'm not sure if there needs to be limits to this, or certain ages to consider...
What are your experiences, ideas, advise????
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#2 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 01:49 AM
 
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I read somewhere(probably on here)that it's cool to be nude around your kids until they start to be embarassed..maybe 7 or later? But I guess it just depends on your kids. I don't walk around nude but I try to be casual about it cause I don't want to teach Julia that women's bodies are shameful. I think it's great that you are doing the same and I would really just go by your child.
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#3 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 02:09 AM
 
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I am curious about this as well, as my ds is 8 months old, and I too love to sleep naked, and walk naked to the shower, to get a glass of water, etc. I am thinking that maybe it depends on if the parent is the opposite sex or not? I'm not sure. I remember when my dad stopped being naked around my sister and me, and when he first mentioned that I should go put more clothes on (I was just wearing a thin nightgown) when I wanted to sit on his lap. I think I was around 7 or 8 when these things happened. I think it also depends on the child. I have no problem seing my mom naked, but it creeps my sister out. My dad kind of looks the other way when I nurse my son. I wonder if I would be thinking about it, as you are, if I had a girl? And is that necessarily appropriate, that one would be treated differently than the other? A friend of mine who was raised with "gypsy" parents, her mom was always naked while they were growing up -gardening, whatever, unless friends came over to the house. She seems totally well adjusted. She has a brother and a sister, so all were exposed to the naked body as normal.
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#4 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 10:15 AM
 
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We don't co-sleep but we have always been comfortable in our "nakedness" around our DD who is going to be 5 in March. We both hate wearing pajamas to bed but during the day, we wear clothes. She has come into the bathroom with us and watched us shower, bathe, etc. as well.

When we got stranded in Atlanta a week or so ago due to snow, we didn't have any of our luggage so we all had to sleep "naked" which was a new thing for her (we handcleaned underwear for the next day for obvious reasons ) She didn't seem to have any issues with it, although she still personally likes the security of her underwear and pajamas! We did discuss the fact that we shouldn't discuss nakedness with others because it was a private issue...e.g. don't tell the concierge or the flight attendants on our flight...you know how little ones are!

If/When she starts to feel uncomfortable, we will decide how to handled it but it hasn't been an issue yet.

We are expecting a boy now and I'm unsure how that may change, if at all. I'll take that one day at a time.

Cheers...Robyn
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#5 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 10:45 AM
 
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Well, I hadn't really given this much thought; our bathroom is a closet--really; i've measured it--it's like 6 ft by 7 ft; I CAN'T get dressed in there. But even if I wanted to be more private, DD is --so far (age 5)--having none of it, at least with me.
DH got some of those flannel pj bottoms when she was about 3, but there are still times he thinks he's "slipping through" on the way to the bathroom when he's naked.
And I'm always cold--it has to be a REALLY hot night for me to sleep naked...
But DD loves to be naked, and loves to sleep naked (strangely she never wets the bed if she goes to bed naked!) And knows how to unlock the bathroom door. And thinks every sighting of my breasts is time for a parade of celebration... So I guess it will be a while here.
I think one of the things moms weaning their last babies mourn is the loss of that incredible intimacy. DD may not get any more milk, but she still takes my breast into her mouth for a goodnight suckling topoff, and they are so very dear to her...so maybe she won't wean before she's 6...
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#6 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 01:31 PM
 
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SInce its just me and my 4 year old dd. I'm always walking around the house topless. DD has open access to the bathroom when I'm in there. She'll shower with me. Lately she has been wanting privacy when she goes to pee..which I respect.

Since I grew up seeing my mom naked as well, it never was an issue.
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#7 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 01:51 PM
 
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The great advice I got about this was: Whenever you, your partner or child feels uncomfortable about it, its time to cover up a bit! Until then, be free! We all have different comfort levels with our bodies--and children will pick up on that very fast!

DS is only one, but I can't see us sleeping with clothes on anytime soon...or putting clothes on when I go to the bathroom, etc.... My biggest hope is that he will remember enough of this to respect and find beauty in all bodies.
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#8 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 02:45 PM
 
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it is a personal thing. you have to do what you want.

i personally do not let my boys see me naked at all.

i am not comfortable with that.

i let my son see the nude paintings at the art museum, but my body ...no.

i am going to teach my children that they have "private" parts and that mommy and daddy do also.
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#9 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 02:54 PM
 
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I read the same as Dr Worm and I agree with it. When they are old enough to start feeling uncomforable, you should start being a bit more modest around the house.

Aly
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#10 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 02:54 PM
 
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We're pretty casual with nudity. Both dh and I sleep naked, as do the kids, 5yo and 3yo, during the summer. We still all shower together, walk around naked from the bedroom to the bathroom etc. I think it's not really an issue for us, although I have been making an effort to teach the kids that not everyone thinks that using the bathroom is a public event :
Blessings, Becca
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#11 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 02:56 PM
 
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I've been reading these posts with great interest. I never really bothered with covering up until recently. My ds will be 3 in March and now it doesn't seem quite appropriate to parade myself around but there will still be times that I can't use the restroom without him. There are times when I insist on my privacy because I think he's old enough to learn to respect when someone doesn't want to be distrubed in the bathroom. However, I don't make a big issue out of it if he sees me changing in the bedroom, nursing the baby or getting out of the shower. I did read recently where you should take note if the child gets embarrased as someone above mentioned. He hasn't really asked many questions yet except related to breastfeeding.

But the funny thing is, I personally find it highly inappropriate to have my dd in the bathroom with dh. So why the double standard? I don't understand why this bothers me so much when it doesn't with my ds and myself. I haven't quite figured it out yet.
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#12 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 03:53 PM
 
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Since I have a same sex child, i don't think I'll ever feel uncomfortable being naked in fron t of her, but if she ever starts to feel uncomfortable, I will respect her preferences and cover up. Right now she loves being naked herself, and looks forward to what she calls "naked playtime" before baths or pajama time.

Dh began feeling funny about being naked in front of her when she was about 2 or 2 1/2, so he covers up or closes the door when dressing. I wouldn't care if she saw him naked, but I respect his feelings about it. He has no problem with her being naked around him, though - I wonder when this will change? Will she feel uncomfortable first, or will he?

Does anyone else ever worry that a child's reports of nudity around the house may be misinterpreted by teachers or other adults in the child's life? Dd is only 3 now, but sometimes I wonder what her preschool teacher would think if she said, "I had lots of naked playtime with Daddy in my room this morning." I guess you hear these horror stories of parents being wrongly accused of sexual abuse and it can make you paranoid.
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#13 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 10:46 PM
 
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We are very open around here. We joke about having the family showers until she is 15. (MOm I don't wanna!!!)
I think we will continue to be open until she shows some sign of wanting us covered. Hopefully we have awhile yet.
The older genration drives me nuts with how uncomfortable they are with nakedness. My MIL...she can hardly stand naked feet, Whenever she is around dd, if dd is partly naked, she just cant stand it. We were at a christmas party at her house this year and it was just stifling from all the people in the room. Dd was getting all flushed looking. So we took her shirt off. She was roaming around for a bit and then we decided she still looked really hot so we were gonna take her pants off too. We called to her and grandma said, "Oh, are you gonna get your shirt on?" Obviously it had been driving her nuts. We were like, "No, actually we were gonna take her pants off." LOL It was funny. Oh, and she always feels for an undershirt on dd. I just don;t get it.
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#14 of 19 Old 01-14-2002, 11:18 PM
 
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We are pretty open about nudity in our house. I walk around naked through the house all the time whether it is to get clothes out of the laundry room or do something else for a few minutes. I shower on a daily basis with the dds. Sometimes we all take a shower together (Dh included), they aren't bothered by dh's nudity at all nor is he. They really don't even notice the difference in anatomy. At 2 1/2 dd#1 noticed that dh had a penis, we simply told her that boys have one, and she thought it was no big deal and never really said anything more. In the summer time the dds usually go naked almost all day around the house, it gets way to hot here for clothing. Dh will walk around the house with no shirt on but he always makes sure to at least have on a pair of boxers, he feels more comfortable I guess. In the summer when it is hot we sleep with no clothes on and the little dd sleeps with a T-shirt and diaper (she co-sleeps) and so does the older dd (in her own bed). I sleep in the middle of the dd and dh everynight (cold or hot). I find it much easier to nurse at night with no shirt on... We try not to make a big deal about nudity, it is natural afterall. We will just wait and take things as they come as the dds get older and adjust our clothing level as neccessary to their comfort level. I feel that if you don't cause there to be an issue around nudity (treating it as if it is a bad thing etc...) then there probally won't be.
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#15 of 19 Old 01-15-2002, 01:11 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I just remembered this funny incident that happened this summer... We were at my aunt and uncles housewarming party. They have 2 little girls who are 2 yo and 4 yo. The girls were standing by me outside in the yard... I was changing ds's diaper... the 4 yo started laughing and laughing. I asked her "what's so funny?" She said- "Look, he has a tail!" (pointing to ds's penis). I thought it was so funny.
Obviously, they never saw a penis... or a boy or man naked... or were explained anything on the topic. And they have a 10 yo brother, and of course, their dad... and since then a little brother was born. I wonder if they think he has a tail too???:
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#16 of 19 Old 01-15-2002, 01:45 AM
 
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LOL, bebe luna!!:LOL
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#17 of 19 Old 01-15-2002, 06:00 AM
 
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I think we're another family where dh will be embarassed by nudity before anyone else. Although growing up we in the family (usually my mother, uncle, & I) wore underwear, I really prefer not to wear anything at all around the house, & I don't see that changing once the baby gets here! But I have talked about it with my husband & he is already saying he thinks he will wear underwear at least. I guess when he's wearing something & I'm wearing nothing, it will give me an opportunity to talk to the little one about different people having different levels of comfort! I am actually interested to see how things will work out, though, because dh would never have considered being nude around the house before he knew me.

Personally, I think if the kids are raised to think of nudity as normal, the chances that they will suddenly think it is wierd are pretty low. It's just a guess, though. I know even with certain friends, I have no problem changing clothes around them (which for me involves total nudity), & I think I embarassed a nurse the other night by taking off my sweatshirt (& thusly baring my breasts) because she couldn't take my blood pressure otherwise! Again just a theory, but I think nudity around the house goes quite some way to kids being comfortable in their own skin, so to speak.

I do worry about how it might be interpreted away from home, though. I never mentioned it to anyone as a child, though I wasn't told not to. On the one hand, I want our little 'un to know it's best not to go around trumpeting the info, on the other I don't want it to seem something to be ashamed of!

Sabra: Mama to Bobbie (3/02), Linda (1/04), Esther (10/05), Marie (11/10), & Douglas (11/12)

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#18 of 19 Old 01-15-2002, 08:08 AM
 
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We are very easy on nudity. When DD was about 1 year old, DH suggested that he start wearing clothes at night (we cosleep). When I asked why, he didn't really know, so that was that

DD knows that we're a unit, and different from other people. She understands that nudity is quite normal within the family, but that we dress when there's other people around (OK, except good friends maybe -- she likes her "diapy-free time" and I'm pretty easy about changing clothes with female friends present,too).

When she wants coverage, she can have it, but so far she's never seemed embarrassed by our nudity. As a matter of fact, she thinks it's really funny to watch daddy make a peepee
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#19 of 19 Old 01-15-2002, 03:55 PM
 
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Tee hee, bebe luna, when my dd saw a little boy naked for the first time she thought he had "a piece of poopie hanging." I corrected her quickly - could you imagine what it would do to the male ego to have his most prized possession called a "poopie"? :LOL
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