AP parenting poll... - Mothering Forums

View Poll Results: When did you start APing???
I never knew what AP was until after baby was born. 49 32.24%
Right from the get go! 67 44.08%
I read about it, and did it. 25 16.45%
After baby #2. 9 5.92%
AP What is that???? 2 1.32%
Voters: 152. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 01:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I kind of fell into AP when I had dd. I was going to do all the mainstream stuff, and then I saw her. Holy cow! I wanted to be with her all the time. I ebf, co slept, carried her around all the time, she even took naps on my chest.
I had already desided to have her with a midwife, because hospitals scared the crap out of me, when it comes to having a baby. I had a great ped, and midwife.
I didn't even know what I did had a name, until baby #2.

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#2 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 01:43 PM
 
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Kinda AP'd with my oldest DD-but didn't know it had a name. Now I AP both of them very happily
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#3 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 02:27 PM
 
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I was an AP parent before I even knew what it was. I just parented how it came to me naturally (bf, feed on demand, baby-wearing, etc.) and only later found out that there was a whole school of thought that matched my parenting style.

Marcy
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#4 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 02:33 PM
 
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With #2. But did not know there was a name for it.
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#5 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 03:07 PM
 
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The only baby book I was given was "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and once I read that I didn't feel so "strange" in my ideas.
I was 18 when I got pregnant and when my mom and mil would talk about "getting the baby on a schedule" and "cio" etc etc I thought the only reason it sounded wrong (and almost mean!) to me was because I was young & didn't know any better. Ironically enough it was my MOM who gave me The Baby Book!
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#6 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 03:22 PM
 
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I "discovered" AP about halfway through my pregnancy. I knew I wanted to BF and use a sling, and we were going to cosleep for the first little while...now I plan to EBF and we're committed to the family bed.

So I voted "right from the get go".

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#7 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 06:32 PM
 
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I was raised by a AP mommy,and with all the love I have for my mom...so AP is in my blood .I doing the same to DS just as what my mom did to me,which are:BF,co-sleeping,alots of baby carring ,fresh homemade baby food everyday,natural childbirth...
And I feel fortunate that DH is passionate about AP as well.
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#8 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 06:59 PM
 
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Maybe I was just young and dumb, but it seemed intuitive to me that proving to 'my kids' that I would love and support and be affectionate with them first would help them to trust me when I drew boundaries later. Physical reprimeand was not an option, so I had to learn/be taught other methods of discipline/protection.

Since the centers and families I've worked for have always been culturally diverse, I was introduced to rebozos and co-sleeping long before I found out there was a pareting style attached to it.

So I'm just doing now, as a parent, what I learned in all those years of caring for other people's children...and following that up with a committment of treating everyone with dignity, which gets the best results from the adults I've cared for/worked with.

I thought it was pretty funny when I found out there was a ton of books out there about it, and kind of sad that apparently it's not as intuitive as I thought it was! But then again, I'm pretty weird, so I guess I should have expected that!
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#9 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 07:20 PM
 
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I didn't know there was a term for it, but I knew in my heart it was the thing to do.
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#10 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 07:52 PM
 
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I am like the OP, I didn't know it had a name until I'd been doing it for a while. She slept with me in the hospital because I didn't want to let her go and for convience since I didn't have to get out of bed to nurse her every 2 hours like the nurses and ped reccomended (and nursing every 2 hours did help get the milk supply going quickly and helped prevent painful engorgement). I tried to make her sleep in her bassinet at home but she hated it and would always end up in bed with us. I planned to bf since I knew it was the best thing. I never even though about how long until I read the AAP reccomendation of 12 months as the minimum so I thought my baby deserves more than the minimum so I thought I'd nurse for 18 months. Then I read the AAFP and WHO reccomendation of 2 years so I thought I'd do that. Now I understand the benefits of child led weaning so that's what we are going to do.
I had never heard of a sling and had only seen something similar on the discovery channel with South American and African women.

I ran across bf.com when I got mastitis for the first time and I've learned a ton from those women. They pointed me here and I've learned even more from you all

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#11 of 28 Old 02-04-2003, 09:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by amarasmom
I ran across bf.com when I got mastitis for the first time and I've learned a ton from those women. They pointed me here and I've learned even more from you all
how's it spelled? I couldn't find bf.com, but I found breastfeed.com and breastfeeding.com ... just curious...
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#12 of 28 Old 02-05-2003, 06:41 PM
 
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I think it just kinda felt right. I was sooooo in love with dd from the moment she was born I didn't want to let her out of my sight. I actually felt panicky when she wasn't near me. I did try the bassinet but dd slept MUCH better when she was being held and it gave me an excuse to relax and take a nap as well. Otherwise I think I may have run myself ragged. I'd sit on the couch and just "BE". Ahhhhh. Smell the new baby smell, look at her little face and absorb all the love. I also bought the Dr. Sears book and was relieved that what I was doing wasn't as freakish as my well meaning relatives seemed to think. Thank God for my mom who kept telling me that I was doing a great job and to follow my intuition. She was VERY supportive and helped build my confidence. Even though AP wasn't what SHE did when we were little. She was a coach for me during delivery and had read the Bradley book... and I think that got her on a roll. I want dd to feel secure and loved more than anything. I will sacrifice some sleep... whatever... the time with the baby is short. They grow soooo fast and I'm enjoying every minute of it. I should say though that this site is sooo nice when you need some support. AP is still not the norm and sometimes it gets tiring bucking the system.
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#13 of 28 Old 02-06-2003, 05:07 AM
 
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I voted for "I didn't know what AP was..." because I didn't know that there was a name for my parenting style.

We would never even have dreamt of parenting our children any other way ;-).

Mama, homeschooler, midwife. DD (13yo), DS (11yo), DD (8yo), DD (3yo), somebody new coming in November 2013.

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#14 of 28 Old 02-06-2003, 08:44 PM
 
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Same as marcy74 too. I remember in the hospital with DD 1, taking her out of her bucket and putting her in my tiny bed and nursing her all night long. The Nurse about flipped out on me ....

after that, nursing on demand and co sleeping, sling wearing were just very easy for me. I did not identify as "AP", and I suppose many of the things I did were not classically AP, but I was isolated from friends and family and stuipid books and I actually think that helped more than anything!!


With DD 2 I was more comfortable all the way around and would say I was even more "AP" with her, the only difference being nursing longer and homebirthing.
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#15 of 28 Old 02-07-2003, 01:27 AM
 
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Like many AP mommies, I acted on what intiutively felt right to me and later became aware that it was a distinct parenting style. And also like some others of you, I was parented with a lot of love and attention (though I was not bf) as a baby and young child, so I believe I have all of that mama love in me in large part beacuse of my own mom.
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#16 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 07:07 PM
 
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i voted "i never knew what AP was until after the baby was born", but that's not quite true. i had read about it some online and thought, "co-sleeping sounds way too dangerous : to me" and other silly things. we went out and bought the crib and cradle and whole nine yards, but after dd was born she would have none of it and so with her vocal and strong encouragement and the Baby Book and some supportive sites online i quickly came around. it took about 5 days before she was in our bed fulltime. it just was *not* workable any other way and it was so nice to cuddle with that little warm bundle on my chest....

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#17 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 09:21 PM
 
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Well, I always thought in terms of intuitive parenting... and when I started reading during pregnancy I thought The Baby Book was mainstream )
(Doesn't this say great things about the women parenting around me? I assumed most young parents were doings things this way these days)
Anyhow, wasn't til after the baby got here that I figured out A) There's a whole bunch of people who do things much differently B)THEY are actually the majority, can you believe?!? LOL
That's about the time I learned the term "AP"...
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#18 of 28 Old 02-18-2003, 11:11 PM
 
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I'm one of those who MUST READ vast amounts in preparation for anything, so when I was pregnant, I read stacks and stacks. My MIL gave me "The Baby Book" (though her subsequent commentary makes me doubt whether she read it -- but that's another story) and of all the books I read it made the most sense to me. I was very, very interested in co-sleeping, but one of my best friends is a pediatric nurse and told me an abolutely horrible story about a mom rolling over on her baby and the baby dying. My friend is wonderful and level-headed and I figured that if she felt so strongly about it, that meant something.

So we bought a crib, planned to do all of that, slept separately in the hospital (which was actually good in my case, I think -- I had a 58-hour labor and was beyond exhausted, and they brought dd in at regular intervals -- 2 hours sounds right but I don't remember -- to nurse.)

But our first night, it was obvious that the crib thing just wasn't gonna happen. We made this very elaborate set-up with rolled-up towels and such, to make sure there was a barrier, and went back to read the passages in Sears promoting co-sleeping to reassure ourselves that it was OK. After a day or two, I figured out that there was absolutely no way that I would roll over on dd, and the towels just went between her and dh.

Everything else (breastfeeding, babywearing) was planned ahead of time. Though my plans for breastfeeding were just no matter what 'til one, then follow her interests after that -- she's still interested.
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#19 of 28 Old 02-19-2003, 03:41 PM
 
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There really wasnt an option for me to vote. I pretty much fell into AP after having my ds and him being extremely colicky and high needs. I didnt co-sleep though, as everytime I ever had him in my bed as a newborn, I couldnt sleep well for fear of flinging an arm on him or rolling over on him or something. I also can't sleep unless I have at least a sheet up over my nose, so I couldnt go blanket free. If I brought him into bed with me, I'd put him as far from me as I could (king size bed with just us two), put him as close to the headboard as I could and pulling my pillows down farther so there was no way he could get the blanket or pillows near his face. LOL It wasnt exactly a cuddly situation. He slept in his crib since day 3 as he didnt like the bassinet next to my bed and always slept great at night. If he had hated his crib like some babies do, then I would have co-slept even though I didnt prefer to do so. I also ff due to medical reasons, but always fed on demand, he didnt fall into any type of eating schedule til at least 6-9 mos old.

I tried the snugli when he was an infant, but he didnt like it too much. I never got around to trying a sling, which I really wish I had tried from birth! I didnt know about them then, though, and figured if he didnt like the snugli, he wouldnt like the sling. He wanted to be held in arms, and was held and walked all day long, every day, while he screamed in my ear! He's never in his almost 20 mos CIO, as that just went against every instinct I had.

So although I didnt bf, co-sleep or use a sling, I still consider myself AP as I've always followed my ds cues.
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#20 of 28 Old 02-19-2003, 10:38 PM
 
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I was APed, and saw my mother being AP, so I never gave it much thought. That's just how you have children!!!
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#21 of 28 Old 02-19-2003, 10:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by lucina3
The only baby book I was given was "The Baby Book" by Dr. Sears and once I read that I didn't feel so "strange" in my ideas.
I was 18 when I got pregnant and when my mom and mil would talk about "getting the baby on a schedule" and "cio" etc etc I thought the only reason it sounded wrong (and almost mean!) to me was because I was young & didn't know any better. Ironically enough it was my MOM who gave me The Baby Book!
Same reasons for me too except my mother bought me the motherly art ....lol...
I was so glad to know that I my feelings were normal and that I really did not have to do all those mainstream things to be a *good* mother...lol...

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#22 of 28 Old 02-20-2003, 12:21 AM
 
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I had no idea about AP before dd's birth... I fed myself info from medical books, baby magazines and what worked for my relatives, only to find out that AP was what we wanted to do from the first day when we came back from the hospital...
I thought that CIO method was a good one, as I saw my sister's baby who would go to sleep whenever she put him down...but I just couldn't do that. I prefer walking dd till midnight 'til she falls asleep to hearing her crying it out once. Same I think co-sleeping is the best for us.i don't judge anybody though, who chooses the CIO method, in fact i don't judge anybody who chooses to bring their kids up using other than AP way. It's their own choice, same as AP for us even if we think it's best...
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#23 of 28 Old 02-20-2003, 06:20 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by lunar forest
I was APed, and saw my mother being AP, so I never gave it much thought. That's just how you have children!!!
As most of you on here know, that's pretty much my story too.

I'm pro-adoption reform, but not anti-adoption.
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#24 of 28 Old 02-20-2003, 08:31 PM
 
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I recieved lots of 'advice' on raising babies. Most on not spoiling and someone even gave me Baby Wise as a 'gift.' I read it while I was PG. It felt cruel and wrong to me. I read all about AP from Sear's book while I was still PG and that felt right to me. AP makes sense. It's scientifically proven to work, and it makes my mommy heart feel good....and most importantly, it makes my son feel good. AP has been wonderful for our communication and I strongly feel good communication between parents and children is the key to raising a successful child and adult.

The thing that makes the most sense to me is this: If I don't listen to my son's cues now, while we're building a foundation, he's not going to listen to me when he's older. If I don't listen to him, why should he listen to me? AP has built an open forum for communication between all of us. It has taught my son through actions that mommy and daddy care, we listen and we're always here for him.

Everything about AP is right for us. BFing, babywearing, bed sharing....all the basic Bs of AP. It feels right and it works! Even if it didn't have a name, or a method, I know I'd still be doing it. It's just nice that one of America's forefront doctors has labeled it and 'validated' it for America, so I can throw out some of that information when I get people trying to tell me that I'm spoiling and hindering my son.
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#25 of 28 Old 02-21-2003, 12:38 PM
 
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MommyT:
Quote:
The thing that makes the most sense to me is this: If I don't listen to my son's cues now, while we're building a foundation, he's not going to listen to me when he's older. If I don't listen to him, why should he listen to me?
ita mommyT! We talk to dd a lot. Trying to tell her our reasons for our actions and needs/desires. This has helped her out w/ her language skills. Before she could talk coherent english we started the basic sign language for eat, all done, dodwn, drink, etc. She could grok that quickly and the talking came easier.

Now I am working on identifying my moods so she has a basic understanding. We also read the My Many COlored Days by Dr. Seuss.
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#26 of 28 Old 02-21-2003, 03:58 PM
 
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I feel into attachment parenting actually. There were things I knew that I wanted though from the time I was a teen. I knew I wanted a natural childbirth and a homebirth and I knew I would breastfeed.
I didnt read a whole lot about natural parenting until after I got the internet when my daughter was two months old. I had had a csection due to a mullerian anomaly and was researching VBAC and came across natural parenting sites. I was breastfeeding and cosleeping at the time plus carrying my baby in a sling. I just knew at the time I didnt fit in with the more mainstream mamas.
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#27 of 28 Old 02-22-2003, 03:33 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by herblaunt
MommyT:
This has helped her out w/ her language skills. Before she could talk coherent english we started the basic sign language for eat, all done, dodwn, drink, etc.
Yesterday my son signed back at me for the first time since we started!!!! I asked him if he wanted nummies and he flashed his hands at me, giving me the sign for milk!!!! I'm so proud of him, it's such and incredible experience!
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#28 of 28 Old 02-22-2003, 10:19 PM
 
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As I just posted, I have always.....

homebirthed (4x)
breastfed (4x)
tandem breastfed
extended breastfed (4x)
cloth diapered (4x)
baby carrying ( front and back pack)
family bed
homeschooled
natural foods

why bring people into the world and raise them if you are not going to do the very best by them?

"The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie, deliberate, contrived and dishonest, but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic."
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