Would you save your Dh or your child? - Mothering Forums
View Poll Results: Who would you save?
Dh 6 4.44%
Child 92 68.15%
Die trying to save the second 34 25.19%
Other 3 2.22%
Voters: 135. You may not vote on this poll

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#1 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 04:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If you were put in a situation where you could only save your Dh or your child who would you save? Why?

(I'll post my opinion later)

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#2 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 07:37 PM
 
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This is such an easy one for me (save the kid). And I would never forgive DH if he saved me instead of my baby.

Now the choice bewteen a sibling or a best friend. Now that is a tough one . . .
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#3 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 07:39 PM
 
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What she said!

Amy - Blessed wife to Jesse (the best dad in the world), mother of 10 on earth plus 8 in heaven.   PROUD to be a Catholic! : winner.jpg familybed2.gifhomeschool.gif

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#4 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 07:42 PM
 
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My dh is a grown man capable of thaking care of himself. My child is small and helpless and depends on me for everything. I wouldn't even stop to think about which one to save, my child of course.
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#5 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 08:00 PM
 
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Definately the child. I know dh would do the same, I don't even have to ask him.
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#6 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 08:32 PM
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During our premarital counseling, DH's uncle(who married us) said if we were in a burning building to save each other because we could always have more kids.

He can screw himself too I voted save child. I can always get another husband
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#7 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 08:39 PM
 
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This is an absolute no brainer. I would save my child, DH would expect me to save our child, and he would absolutely do the same if given the same choice.

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#8 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 08:41 PM
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'Die trying to save the second'

Second what? Second child?

If I die saving the child, is that the second option or ???

I voted 'other' since I wasn't sure that I fit that third option since I only have one child.
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#9 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 08:55 PM
 
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Save the child - Dh has great life insurance and we hardly ever see him anyway.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#10 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 09:30 PM
 
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Definitely the child, but if I could save them both, I would try, because I would be awful lonely without dh, since he does do the laundry and some cooking, and he changes dipes...
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#11 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 10:41 PM
 
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I voted child. I love my husband so dearly and for so many reasons and it would be heartbreaking (to say the least) to have to live w/o him. However, as a mother I have to protect my child/ren. I don't feel my husband is dispensable but to live w/o out one of my children is unimaginable. Plus if I did safe my dh and not our child he would hate me. These kind of questions really make me sad to think about.

OUR DAUGHTERS ARE PROTECTED SHOULDN'T OUR SONS BE TOO! :
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#12 of 38 Old 02-11-2003, 11:59 PM
 
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Definitely I would save my children. My children are completely dependant on me and I have a responsibility to them.

DiaperDiva, the counselling we did (via videos/workbooks) said something similar. I'm glad it wasn't the minister (my dad!) who said it because he would have heard realllllllllllly bad words when I voiced my opinon on that one!
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#13 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 12:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I vote child and possibly die trying to save dh...depending on the situation.

I know it isn't a fun question and this may sound silly but with all the talk of war and such I've been thinking a lot about it. We just moved to an area that they say would be one the first attacked if it were going to happen. i'm not living in fear just wondering what my own reaction would be.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#14 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 12:51 AM
 
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Most mothers will pick to save their child...and most men will pick to save their wives.

I read a very interesting article on this very topic. They explained it as nature's way of keeping the family *together*. The husband protects the wife, which basically means the whole family, because the mother protects the children, kwim?

Ugh, maybe if I dig I can find the article again....ANYWAYS...I would protect my children
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#15 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 08:19 AM
 
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My child, without hesitation. DH and I have actually discussed this and he would also save our child first.

Amy, mom to Tsuneo Phri, 09/12/01
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#16 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 09:53 AM
 
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I voted my child.
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#17 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 10:38 AM
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Child, children no question. We even talked about it once and we both agreed we would save our children. I think I voted wrong though, I thought the die trying to save children meant you would save your child no matter what, while just saving child option meant you yourself were not in danger of dying. I think I way over thought the question. I should have just voted child.
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#18 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 12:44 PM
 
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Child of course. Dh and I were actually talking about this last night, and we both agree we would eventually "get over" being widowed, but neither of us would ever recover from losing our kid.

I'm flying overseas in August with the two kids, and I think that if something were to happen, at least I'm with them too.
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#19 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 06:21 PM
 
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Child. DH wouldn't want to live if I chose him over her, anyway.
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#20 of 38 Old 02-12-2003, 08:59 PM
 
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My son.

Actually I would save any child. My husband and I have discussed this one a few times. There is this AWFUL commercial where a young child basically asks the audience if they'd save him from a speeding train wreck. Really freaked me out. I said YES without reservation. I decided that the only things that would stop me from risking [or trading] my life for a child would be risking or trading my own son [I wouldnt do that] or risking or trading both mine and my husband's life.

My husband agreed. As long as our son and one of us survived, we'd save children no doubt and other people most likely. Interesting that the thought was that men feel differently. My husband had a really really hard time with the *concept* of my dying. But did feel if it came to it our son needed *A* parent more than we needed a spouse. Interesting that we did take it to the next level of "If you knew your son and spouse were safe..." would you risk your life saving others. He actually had an easier time of it with this one conceptually and said "No Doubt, Yes"
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#21 of 38 Old 02-13-2003, 12:13 AM
 
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I would definitely save my child.
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#22 of 38 Old 02-13-2003, 11:00 AM
 
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I would go for my kids first, then knowing they were safe go back for dh. I can't image living without any of them.
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#23 of 38 Old 02-13-2003, 05:41 PM
 
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I vote to save my children. I think about this all the time, and I feel bad, because although I love my husband very much, I feel like I love my children more and would miss them more if they were gone. Is that awful?
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#24 of 38 Old 02-14-2003, 09:52 PM
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For those of you who voted to save your husband first, what are your thoughts?
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#25 of 38 Old 02-14-2003, 09:52 PM
 
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Without a doubt, my child(ren)....


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#26 of 38 Old 02-14-2003, 11:09 PM
 
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Other than that I agree with all the other posts that I am (happily) obligated to protect and save those that I brought into this world, I also think that the thought of losing a spouse is more imaginable to most people because we expect that at some point in our lives we will indeed lose our spouse, kwim? I've given this a lot of thought. I expect that my dh or I will someday die and the other will move on, and to that end, we have made a pact never to remarry or live with another person in order to preserve the life we are making for our children. So, in the event that I could only save one, I would of course save my child, and sadly mourn my dh.
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#27 of 38 Old 02-15-2003, 05:28 AM
 
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Children. I'd consider going after dh, but not at risk of death. My children need at least one parent, kwim?

Lilyka:
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#28 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 01:09 AM
 
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Dear MDC:

DC
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#29 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 05:49 AM
 
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I voted other. I don't know what that means.

Yucko. I suppose I would save dd first because it's my job, my role, my life, to look after her. but I love dp dearly and would die a little myself without him.

Ugh.
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#30 of 38 Old 02-16-2003, 07:23 PM
 
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I voted die trying to save the second. Because I know I could never let my child die, and I'm betting I could never let *any* child come to harm if I could help it either. But the thought of loosing my Dh is just horrible to me. Perhaps it will change when our baby is here in my arms, but I simply can not imagine living without my husband. Its actually a huge fear of mine, that he will die driving to work, or something... I just love him *so* much!

And I also don't think I could live with myself if I didn't try. Situations in life aren't so cut and dry. If both your child and husband were in peril, you wouldn't *know* that going back for the other would mean your death for sure... at least in most situations. So if I saved my baby, then watched my dh die, or know that I *might* have been able to save him, I just wouldn't be able to live with myself afterwards.

Very tough survey. I've been reading responses since it got posted, and its taken me this long to really think of what I would do.

Lisa, mama to Orion (7) , Fiona Star (born sleeping @ 38wks 12/6/08) , our bitty (m/c 7/27/09) , and Charlotte Athena (11/5/10)
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