Here's my situation:
My sister and I had our babies just 10 days apart. Both girls. I love my sister very much, and it was fun to share the journey of pregnancy with her.
When I became a mother just six short months ago, I welcomed her advice (she also had a 14-month-old). But soon our paths diverged - she bottle-feeds, I breastfeed; she's into strict schedules, etc., etc. All of this makes no difference to me, she is still a wonderful mother to her children. But. The constant comparing - about weight, length, number of teeth, milestones reached, and so on, is getting on my nerves. I want to get away from it because I feel like it's about more than just friendly comparing - I feel like there's a smugness to her asking - kind of a bragging, which I know we all do from time to time, but I feel it's more like a way for her to constantly confirm that her parenting is superior to mine.
For example: she's into Babywise and her baby slept through the night at 6 weeks. I am not into Babywise and my dd still doesn't sleep through the night. She *always* asks if dd is sleeping through the night yet, and I when I say no, I can feel the gloat.
Same thing with weight gain (my dd was 2 pounds more than her dd at birth but is now 3 pounds less) and pretty much all other apsects of growth and development. I just can't shake the feeling that she thinks I'm making bad parenting choices. I guess I shouldn't care, but she is my sister and truth be told, I do care what she thinks. It does bother me - I do want her to believe that I am a good mom too, even if we do things differently.
I would like know how to steer the conversation away from always revolving around the stats of our dds - how do I redirect focus to something more meaningful?
This is just a long road that we're going to be on together, and I'd really like to enjoy our girls together, not feel competitive about trivial stuff or parenting styles. I don't want our differences to cause any rifts, even subtle ones, between us.
Any advice? Thanks!