Babywise this Babywise that! I'm getting sick of it!!!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 18 Old 02-16-2003, 10:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, we've moved and are going to a new church. They are teaching Growing Kids God's Way, EZZO!! Anyway, from what we gathered when we were here it wasn't an always taught thing. Just this one time. Luckily they have never asked us to join cause we ould have tell them NO and why we said no. Not that I'm against telling what I think but I don't want to get into it.

So, they are always talking about it. Now mind you that in their parenting you never see evidence of it. But one ladies 9.5 month old jsut sits perfect in her high chair. She never moves except to open her mouth and never touches her food. Ezzo teaching. They are insisting everyone say Miss or Mr. Which isn't only an Ezzo thing but a pretty big one in their book. I HATE being called Miss Megan or even Mrs. Moore!

Luckily, they have noticed several flaws in the method. But to me the most astonishing part is that it is SO biblically WRONG! And they are still teaching it!

I'll be glad when that stupid class is over!!

Thanks for letting me vent! BTW...they've never said anything about how we raise Tracy...not to my face at least!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#2 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 03:45 AM
 
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Megan ~
I hear you!
I can't stand the idea that people believe Ezzo is the *Christian* way of doing things. Do they honestly believe Jesus would let his children CIO and would spank them? I just don't understand how you can reconcile that with Jesus' example of DEMONSTRATING and gently guiding. It makes NO logical sense.

Anne wife to Phil & mama to Katie
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#3 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 05:13 AM
 
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You could be subversive...make copies of this flyer http://www.ezzo.info/trifoldbrochure.pdf and leave them in the restrooms, under seats...oooh imagine the controversy! Okay, so I don't know how this would go over, but I've dreamed of doing it!

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#4 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 06:42 AM
 
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Give them the anti-Ezzo brochure. Here is the link
Leave several around the church for people to findHere is another good one to print out

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#5 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 11:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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What makes me so mad is this. they use the fact that Christ cried out on the cross as justification to letting your child CIO. DUH!!!! God wasn't letting Christ call out to make a point to Christ. There were "real" motives behind the whole ting!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#6 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 02:05 PM
 
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Megan -

Of all the crap ezzo spews that is the point I take issue with the most.

I can imagne you feel pretty uncomfortable rocking the boat when you have just started at that job. next time the class comes around though (and sadly enough there probably will be a next time ) you will be ready. I agree leave the flyers, maybe buy a few AP books (Sears as a great Christian Parenting one) for the church library - or recommend them innocently enough to the powers that be. In the mean time just keep being a good example by your actions. I am so thankful that there isn't a single person on our church staff who doesn't think Ezzo is a complete lunatic.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#7 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 08:23 PM
 
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say ((HUGS))

and my sil used to be a RN
she said one of the things she does NOT miss is the Ezzo babies coming into the ER
she said you could always tell ((
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#8 of 18 Old 02-17-2003, 10:47 PM
 
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I am sure most of you know that my granson is being raised in an EZZO home!!! My heart breaks thinking of him CIO......



Every Doctor I have spoken to is against anything EZZO. Do print out the info and take it to your church. Even Dr. Dobson is stongly opposed to the EZZO crap!!
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#9 of 18 Old 02-18-2003, 07:00 PM
 
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Thanks for links to that page I can print out. I just printed 2 and will be inserting them into the library copies of the books next time I'm there.

Darshani

7yo: "Mom,I know which man is on a quarter and which on is on a nickel. They both have ponytails, but one man has a collar and the other man is naked. The naked man was our first president."
 
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#10 of 18 Old 02-18-2003, 11:31 PM
 
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I must admit I would definitely speak up about EZZO. as a former ezzo user, I was anew mom barely home with baby when this book arrived as a gift from a former youth pasto I really respected, anyway It is CRAP. It worked, but I stopped breastfeeding at 4wks pp due to horrible start in hospital, and his awful advice. My son slept through the night at six weeks, but what I have lost is immeasurable. My son is almost 3 and I am nowhere near as close to him as I am too my second son. I find myself really having problems relating to Joshua, especially when he is hurting Noah. Anyway praise the Lord that a friend ever so gently nudged me towards Dr. Sears after Noah was born. I am so scared to think what would have happened to Noah if we had been on ezzo. Noah is very small, and was labeled failure to thrive/slow to gain and his feedings weren't being restricted.

Noah has rarely CIO, usually only when I have been on the verge of breaking. As compared to Joshua who CIO everynight
Tal about not helping improve my PPD. Anyway he is crap. I now hide the books when in the book store, although I really like the idea of also leaving the pamphlets

Anyway do whatever you can to make converts. And keep your eyes open for ptential abuse. I personally feel abuse could run rampant with his style. He advocates hand slapping from 8mo+ and is all about the parent being in utter control, and when that authority is challenged the parent needs to address the situation with whatever means possible..first reprimanding, then handslapping and finally isolateing in crib. And forcing nap if anywhere near naptime. Althoug he doesn't specifically advocate spanking, he definitely leaves it open, or at least makes a parent feel it is neccessary to straighten out a child. This is where the abuse could easily come into play. HE hasn't given parents the tools needed to work with the child. so a hand slap can easily escalate into a swat, and the leg, and then a real spanking. All of which could seriously injure a young child, especially 2-3 yr or under. Keep your eyes open. I beleive it is our responsibliity to report abuse, regardless of how difficult it is on us. Sorry to be rambling as you can tell I H his junk.
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#11 of 18 Old 02-18-2003, 11:44 PM
 
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Quote:
I now hide the books when in the book store
I like your style! Good idea

DS 12 DS 9 DD 6
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#12 of 18 Old 02-19-2003, 01:57 AM
 
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I remember, when ds was born, I had three different Babywise books given to me by well meaning friends of my mothers.

I skimmed onea nd was like, yeah, right. It was so ridiculous and horrible. My mom pushed me in the beginning to get ds on a schedule, let him CIO, because that's what she did with me and my brothers.

But I couldn't stand hearing him cry. At all. So, instinctively, I went to him, and held him or fed him or sang to him. And he has never been on a schedule. He would never go on one, and I knew that from the beginning. I could tell. I ignored all the talk from my mom, and others that I was spoiling him or letting him run my life.

It's so funny to me now. My parents say they are praying for me that I will learn to discipline, stop letting my kids run my life. Blah, blah, blah. I love when they say stuff like that because it tells me I am doing everything right.

I tell others, whenever I can to run away from anything with Babywise or EZZO in it.
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#13 of 18 Old 02-20-2003, 10:26 AM
 
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megan -- our church only has one small group that I am the right age and gender to be involved in. Its called "Parents of Young Children." The other groups are all for women over 50. So, I went to one group -- and guess what? They were viewing and disscussing "Growing Kids God's Way."

I thought about going just to be a voice of sanity in the group, but then decided that I just didn't have the energy to go up against that. I feel too fragile spiritually, and I *need* to a church group that I can get something out of too, you know? Argh. Its all such dangerous garbage.
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#14 of 18 Old 02-20-2003, 02:41 PM
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Hey, I was kicked out of a church for advocating AP when said church introduced PFP (the "Christian" version of Babywise)

It just breaks my heart that this miserable, nasty, selfish material is taught in churches as "G-d's Way".

What church are you going to??

Debra Baker
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#15 of 18 Old 02-20-2003, 02:53 PM
 
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I leafed through one of the Babywise books and I thought I would hurl. I also felt as though I needed a shower.

As I was reading the recent posts, it dawned on me why our adminstrative support person and I disagree so much when we talk about her neices and my son. Her sister does the Babywise stuff! Her husband is the worst offender though. He is the one that insists on schedules, CIO, weaning,etc.

I was very sad when I heard that under no circumstances is any of the girls allowed to sleep with mom and dad or even a sibling. You have your own bed. Sure Sam kicks us out of bed every night, but waking up in the middle of the night and seeing the whole family sleeping is so comforting. Somedays I don't think I can sleep until I have smelled Sam's hair.

I really feel sorry for all those children. They must feel as though something is missing.
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#16 of 18 Old 02-20-2003, 03:23 PM
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Mirlee,

What is truely sad is these children are being deprived of the attachment and intimacy they need.

What isn't filled in its own order becomes an unhealthy need later on in life.

It won't suprise me if these girls become sexually active because of their craving for physical closeness.

Just makes me so sad.

Debra Baker
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#17 of 18 Old 02-21-2003, 06:12 PM
 
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I think I would leave the new church and find something else. A church here was teaching the classes and I boycott everything they have, plays, retreats, moms day out, the works. I wrote a letter to the pastor four years ago reguarding Ezzo and got no response. If a church supports this kind of treatment of children how do they really view children?
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#18 of 18 Old 02-21-2003, 06:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm NOT leaving the church. Dh is the music minister. And the thing is that none of the parents CIO or anything. I'm not sure why they use the study and the ones i've really talked to about it say it doesn't work. They say it has sparked some really good conversation. So, I'm hoping they saw the falicies!

Dh is very upfront of not approving. We have not been asked to join the group even though it is all couples our age with young children. Which is good, cause I think they know we don't agree. I still spend time with the parents and put in my semi-ap ways (the ones I actually do/ agree with ) I've never been secretive about it.

Of course if they ever offer the class again dh is going to bring it up in a leadership meeting that it is NOT appropriate for more than just discipline reasons but for scriptural reasons!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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