WHAT is it about girls? I just know it has to be that ..!! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 14 Old 02-17-2003, 07:31 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Things get nuts when dd is home and around ( often since we hs)
But when she is over at a friends house and the one time she went with my SIL things are sooo peaceful and quiet
Even the closely spaced siblings don't fight as much as they usually do when she is gone. It seems like dh and I are constantly having to get after her or reprimand her for one thing or another....
( notice I said SEEMS not IS but still)
And when it is just the three boys even the teen its not as chaotic and not as many people mad at each other
Anyone out there deal with this as well or are we just weird?
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#2 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 12:15 AM
 
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Yeah, girls...sheesh. I grew up with four (older!) sisters, and Rose and I have raised one daughter already (she's 27 now), so Autumn's "girl-ness" doesn't exactly come out of nowhere (no offense, ladies).

I will say it gets better. Either that or the early Alzheimer's is kicking in and coming in handy.

Hang in there. You're obviously attentive and tuned in...girls seem to have a lot going on and react to that with a lot of intensity (how's THAT for tactful?).

Peace.

Joe
Dad to Autumn, 9, and Gina, 27
Gramps to Angelina, 7 months
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#3 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 01:53 PM
 
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Why does it have to be something about GIRLS, rather than something about your particular individual girl??? :

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#4 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 07:06 PM
 
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I agree! I only have girls (so far, boy on the way) but every girl I know has a different personality. I don't think there's a certain behavior that's inherent in ALL of them.

My friends with boys constantly tell me that I'm so lucky to have girls because they're so much "easier." I don't go for that either. There's too many stereotypes out there about the sexes!

Just my .02.
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#5 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 08:24 PM
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I think your post is highly sexist. Your poor daughter lives out your expectations of her.
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#6 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 08:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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post deleted by request ~peggy
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#7 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 08:47 PM
 
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I think its just individual kid's personalities.

My friend has a step son, who is the oldest, 15, and all the other siblings can't stand having him around, because he makes the home enviornment crazy. He will instigate fights with the other kids. He does this somewhat so that he will be asked to leave, because he cannot stand being with the family. It is very tough for my friend, being she is not his real mother. It makes him very difficult to discipline by grounding him, because he makes everyone miserable if he is there.

I know a lot of the problems their indivdual family has is due to a mixed family enviornment where the mom and dad do not agree on how to discipline... so unlike your famly, that is a big part of their situation.

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#8 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 09:37 PM
 
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JMO< but I don't think either sex is "more difficult". There are alot of dynamics involved, not just the sex of a child.

I have friends who have an oldest girl and two younger boys. The dd is wonderful to be around. The oldest boy is really loud, screams all the time, is rude, manipulative and just plain wild. Youngest boy is still a toddler, but he is not as wild as his older brother was at his age.
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#9 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 10:35 PM
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This post seems so strange to me. What gives with banging on her becuse she's a girl? Why generalize like that? It seems destructive to do that. She can never change her gender.

I have a one year old DD who is darling and kind and mellow and sweet, and that's because she's an individual, not becuse of what's between her legs.

I hope you'll go easy on your daughter. She's just a kid and kids are boisterous and active a lot of the time -- throughout the world.
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#10 of 14 Old 02-18-2003, 11:40 PM
 
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Arduinna, do you know my children? They are just like that... except when the oldest is making the other two nuts or when the toddler is making everyone nuts, or when they are all wonderful and happy and playing peaceful (though not necessarily quiet) games together.

Cerridwen Lorelei, perhaps somewhere your daughter is posting a small vent about MOTHERS! Yikes!
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#11 of 14 Old 02-19-2003, 09:35 AM
 
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Let's take it easy here guys. The OP was looking for help and support for this problem not judgement. Parenting Issues is supposed to be a safe place to vent about any kind of parenting problem, not just the ones that fit our personal comfort level.
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#12 of 14 Old 02-19-2003, 02:04 PM
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CerridwenLorelei,

I remember coming home from a sleepover at a friends house and my mom telling me that the house had been so peaceful while I was away. : It didn't really bother me that she said such a thing, but it didn't in any way promote better behavior! LOL.

It really is just family dynamics. My husband tends to refer to me as "first born" when we are in an argument, but it got me to thinking...if we were all the 'mediating' middle-children or 'easy-going' youngest children, the world would really be lacking some excitement, don't you think?
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#13 of 14 Old 02-20-2003, 12:19 AM
 
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Peggy, thanks for the reminder. I looked at my reply and realised that what was meant to be a light-hearted look at differing views of family dynamics could just as easily have been taken as a personal attack on one of the board members. I apologize if I have caused offence.
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#14 of 14 Old 02-20-2003, 03:50 AM
 
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we had to leave church in a disgrace the other day (picture dd yelling for effect "where are you taking me, please don't hurt me, help I think she is going to hurt me bad ) and my friend while trying to control her laughter over our scene assured me that the hormone thing starts pretty early. She said she noticed in her dd as early as 7 and 8 and it got better around the time she started having regular cycle.. Lovely huh? That is just my friends theory but I think she might have a piont.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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