But when she is over at a friends house and the one time she went with my SIL things are sooo peaceful and quiet
Even the closely spaced siblings don't fight as much as they usually do when she is gone. It seems like dh and I are constantly having to get after her or reprimand her for one thing or another....
( notice I said SEEMS not IS but still)
And when it is just the three boys even the teen its not as chaotic and not as many people mad at each other
Anyone out there deal with this as well or are we just weird?
I will say it gets better. Either that or the early Alzheimer's is kicking in and coming in handy.
Hang in there. You're obviously attentive and tuned in...girls seem to have a lot going on and react to that with a lot of intensity (how's THAT for tactful?).
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My friends with boys constantly tell me that I'm so lucky to have girls because they're so much "easier." I don't go for that either. There's too many stereotypes out there about the sexes!
Just my .02.
My friend has a step son, who is the oldest, 15, and all the other siblings can't stand having him around, because he makes the home enviornment crazy. He will instigate fights with the other kids. He does this somewhat so that he will be asked to leave, because he cannot stand being with the family. It is very tough for my friend, being she is not his real mother. It makes him very difficult to discipline by grounding him, because he makes everyone miserable if he is there.
I know a lot of the problems their indivdual family has is due to a mixed family enviornment where the mom and dad do not agree on how to discipline... so unlike your famly, that is a big part of their situation.
I have friends who have an oldest girl and two younger boys. The dd is wonderful to be around. The oldest boy is really loud, screams all the time, is rude, manipulative and just plain wild. Youngest boy is still a toddler, but he is not as wild as his older brother was at his age.
I have a one year old DD who is darling and kind and mellow and sweet, and that's because she's an individual, not becuse of what's between her legs.
I hope you'll go easy on your daughter. She's just a kid and kids are boisterous and active a lot of the time -- throughout the world.
Cerridwen Lorelei, perhaps somewhere your daughter is posting a small vent about MOTHERS! Yikes!
I remember coming home from a sleepover at a friends house and my mom telling me that the house had been so peaceful while I was away. : It didn't really bother me that she said such a thing, but it didn't in any way promote better behavior! LOL.
It really is just family dynamics. My husband tends to refer to me as "first born" when we are in an argument, but it got me to thinking...if we were all the 'mediating' middle-children or 'easy-going' youngest children, the world would really be lacking some excitement, don't you think?
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.