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#1 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i just checked the mail today and got a letter from the state that im under ivestigation because of "community concerns regarding your children."

its dated the day after i had elise.
im trying to call the number on the letter but getting no answer.
im really freaked out.
anyone have any advice. i feel like im going to pass out or something, im terrified.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#2 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:09 PM
 
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Wow, scary! It didn't say anything else? You poor thing!

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#3 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:13 PM
 
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Is there a number to call or anything else? No matter what, I would be at the door of the office of the place that sent the letter at 9:00 Monday morning. If you cannot do that, place a call ASAP to the office.

Do you have any idea what this could be about? I am very sorry you are going though this. I guess you will just have to see what happens and do what you need to do to make this go away.
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#4 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:22 PM
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Are you sure it is legit? Normally when they want to investigate a person comes to your home within 24 hours of the report. You might get a letter after that.

I'd make sure your house is clean and that you have some sort of crib or play pen set up so you can say the baby sleeps there.

Hang in there
Kara

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#5 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:27 PM
 
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Take a deep breath, Mama. Keep us posted, try to stay calm.
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#6 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:28 PM
 
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If they thought there was a serious problem, they would have already paid you a visit. I agree that you need to go down there ASAP Monday.
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#7 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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well they came by shortly after elise came home and talked to justin. they didnt tell him anything or even leave a number. they wanted to talk to me but i was asleep and they just left. i didnt really know what to think about that.
it seemed dumb since they could have just talked to him.
and i know my children wont be taken away, well not really. since were native american they have to go through all my relatives and my mom lives next door. but im still freaking out. my plan is to find out what the complaint was about and then research the heck out of it and give the social worker print outs...
its hard to stay calm and formulate a plan when theres a threat to your children. intent doesnt mean much, its still terrifying.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#8 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:42 PM
 
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Oh wow.

I'm glad to hear that they have to go thru your relatives before taking kids, and that your mom is so close by. That's a relief.

CPS/CAS (here in Canada) scare the crap outta me too. I hope this gets settled quickly and easily.
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#9 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:44 PM
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Reading through your old posts I am sure they were called because you attempted a UC and refused tests and stuff. The hospital probably called it medical neglect when they called. Did your dp tell them that you are native and mention religious beliefs? If so, they might just go away. If they do come back do you have an Elder who can back you up on your beliefs? If they do come back act as calm as humanly possible and tell them you don't need their services.

Hang in there
Kara

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#10 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DBZ
Reading through your old posts I am sure they were called because you attempted a UC and refused tests and stuff. The hospital probably called it medical neglect when they called. Did your dp tell them that you are native and mention religious beliefs? If so, they might just go away. If they do come back do you have an Elder who can back you up on your beliefs? If they do come back act as calm as humanly possible and tell them you don't need their services.

Hang in there
Kara
well if its that some good research should back me up.
and i really wish i could play the native card on this one but i was raised in kansas and i dont know any elders, our reservation is in arizona. im the oposite of religious. and im really really bad at lying and pretending. one of the main reasons im scared.

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#11 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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get a lawyer and don't talk to the CPS person without your lawyer present. use your right to remain silent. the way they "get" most mamas is by chitchatting, the mama thinks she can just explain away the whole thing and meanwhile the caseworker is getting more and more information...


http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/Child_Pr...arentguide.asp
there is a good site for parents regarding CPS
http://www.fightcps.com/
also
http://nhdcyf.info/first_contact.html

raising my two sunshine children.

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#12 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 07:17 PM
 
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Okay- number one- do NOT agree to anything without court orders. Do not let them in your front door without a warrant. Do NOT let them see your kids without a court order. Do not have more than a small-talk conversation with them without a warrant AND a lawyer. Get a lawyer now. A good one. You do not have to agree to anything if they don't have warrants. PM Tummy- she can link you with more information. There are several moms around here who have had to fight CPS.

good luck!

-Angela
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#13 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 08:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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okay i just talked to my moms friend who is a social worker(not in any official capacity)... she knows the lady invesigating me... she told me since everyone believes having a baby at home, let alone unassisted, is extremely risky that child abuse will be substantiated. and it wont matter that i spent the majority of my pregnancy desparately trying to find prenatal care and a midwife, it wont matter that so many people were tied up in rules that they couldnt see a woman for a vbac unless she had 'proven' herself, or they werent 'allowing' vbacs since the hospital banned them. nevermind that ubac isnt illegal... its so scary that the hospital can say whatever they want and be believed because theyre the hospital... while talking with the friend ive decided i wont talk without an attorney because if i try to explain the circumstances i sound like a conspiracy theorist. ugh!

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#14 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 09:08 PM
 
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I just wanted to send you some positive thought and vibes
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#15 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 09:22 PM
 
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You are really in lawrence, ks. I can't believe this is happening there. My families own experience with "the authorities" in douglas county, is that they bend over backwards to avoid doing anything that would be considered authoritarian or conservative. To the extent that my sister had to go into hiding to avoid a stalker that they would not prosecute because he was mentally ill. Even the psychiatrists at the hospital where the police kept bringing him were ridiculously permissive and let him go early from all his psych holds because properly medicated he was perfectly reasonable. The problem was that without supervision he would not take his medication. (We only got proper intervention when he went after my parents in a different county in an attempt to find my sister).

I'm so sorry. I don't really have any good advice. Just wanted to offer my well wishes. Sorry for the tangent. I will say, that it never hurts to get a lawyer. Even if just to get sound advice about how to proceed.

Mom to Kira March 2009
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#16 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 09:25 PM
 
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I found this easy to read and understand.

It's a great site. Read it before they come.

Good Luck.

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#17 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 09:26 PM
 
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Wish I lived a little farther north, I'm in Wichita...I think you've got the right idea to not talk without a lawyer. I understand where you're coming from, but you're right, anytime I talk to someone mainstream about my ideas, they get the impression sometimes that I'm a nut full of conspiracy theories, and that's not the impression you want to give cps.
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#18 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 10:18 PM
 
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That's horrible! You must be scared out of your mind. It took me a little bit of reading to figure out what UC meant, lol.

I think the advice on this thread is sound.....lawyer up, and just in case, clean your house top to bottom, make sure your dc are always dressed head to toe, dishes washed and put away, no dirty laundry, etc, until this blows over.

Would I be completely out of bounds to suggest running away to Canada if the water gets too hot?
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#19 of 76 Old 04-08-2006, 10:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joannarachel
I think the advice on this thread is sound.....lawyer up, and just in case, clean your house top to bottom, make sure your dc are always dressed head to toe, dishes washed and put away, no dirty laundry, etc, until this blows over.
you mean all that is really possible!? i better call in for reinforcements... ugh they came by a little after the microburst and our yard was trashed. down trees and peoples trash. we still havent gotten around to cleaning it all up. ack

pumpkin, i agree it is a bit odd for a town to liberal but the bith environment here is crap. well if you want a vbac it is. whick is also strange for such a liberal town...

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#20 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 12:21 AM
 
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Lawyer up, hire someone to come clean your house top to bottom if you can afford it (call for help if you can't) set up a 'nursery' and make it look used (or put a crib in your bedroom, again, make it look used)

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine how scary that must be...Sending tons of positve thoughts and prayers your way.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
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#21 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 12:36 AM
 
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I agree with everyone that said lawyer up and CLEAN YOUR HOUSE....Make sure you have food stocked in your pantry, kitchen is clean, no dirty laundry, place for the baby to sleep, clothes for the baby, etc.
If you have pets, make sure you pick up all the dog-doo or whatever......
I'm a foster parent and I know what they look for when they go out and investigate....I'll be praying for you....so sorry you're going through this

Here's me I married then we had dd15 , dd11 , ds10 , and then and now we and I blog!
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#22 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 12:58 AM
 
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Really? They could possibly take your kids away for a uc??

Crap. I was hoping if I had another one this would be the way to go.


Maybe I'll have to look into fudging some precipitous (sp?) labor. "Huh, I don't know what happened. I had a contraction, I was on my way out the door and out popped the baby!"

Seriously, this is sad. My thoughts are with you. No one scares me like CPS. I have nightmares about them and I"ve never even had a run in. They're like those government agencies that operate outside the law. Screw constitutional rights. Get a good lawyer and don't let those awful people in your house without a warrant!!

(I second moving to Canada if things get too hot )
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#23 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 01:35 AM
 
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You don't have to leave the country- CPS can't cross state lines.... just FYI... useful information.... know anyone close by in a different state?

-Angela
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#24 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 04:05 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mykdsmomy
Make sure you have ... place for the baby to sleep
i know this is an issue in some places but here in lawrence even the mainstream parents cosleep. and besides cribs are astronomical. then again....it may be a good excuse to finally get that amby...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bellona
Really? They could possibly take your kids away for a uc??
Crap. I was hoping if I had another one this would be the way to go.
in some places they can get you for cosleeping, extended breastfeeding or any number of other things they usually know nothing about. when ignorance is prevalent nothing you do is safe. dont let ignorant jerks have a say in how you birth

Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna
know anyone close by in a different state?
dp and i have family and california and arizona... i hope it doesnt come to that because i hate the southwest.

at the moment im suprisingly less concerned with myself and my situation but with future women who may second guess themselves. i dont want to let them set some kind of precedent where they can bully women out of having vbacs or ubacs or whatever birth they want. im getting really pissed off now. i was talking to my moms social worker friend about what i could do to help change something....
im thinking my mom's friend will look good for me too, being a social worker and she has had me watch her children and even asked me for medical advice
ive been doing laundry as fast as i can and even got the dishes done, tomorrow the reinforcements are comming.
well at least it came on a friday so i have the weekend to plot...

i plan to make a stink...a very polite legal stink...

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#25 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 04:17 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by poxybat
iat the moment im suprisingly less concerned with myself and my situation but with future women who may second guess themselves. i dont want to let them set some kind of precedent where they can bully women out of having vbacs or ubacs or whatever birth they want. im getting really pissed off now. i was talking to my moms social worker friend about what i could do to help change something....
Wow!!! I don't know your personal religious/spiritual beliefs, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and perhaps the reason you're going through this is to protect other women from dealing with this crap in the future.

Also, just so you know, going the "oops the baby came too fast" route isn't always "safe" either- I went to the hospital 2 hours after my UC with that line and we ended up with a perfectly healthy newborn in the NICU on IV antibiotics for a week because "he was born outside the sterile hospital." Had he been born in the hospital he would have roomed in with me for 2 days and then we could have gone home together (but they also would have cut his cord before it stopped pulsing and I probably wouldn't have gotten to squat while pushing, so who knows what complications that might have caused?) And the ER dr called CPS on us. They never took my kids, thank G-d, but they were on our backs for months, and I now have a record of being "indicated for child abuse or neglect" because of his birth. However, they closed the case because "he isn't going to go through childbirth again."

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#26 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 02:18 PM
 
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Scary, scary stuff. How do you find out if it's 'allowed' in your state?
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#27 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 05:33 PM
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I hate to post this, but maybe it's relevent?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=434162

PhDin' mama to dd (Oct. 2005)
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#28 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 06:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EVC
I hate to post this, but maybe it's relevent?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=434162
ugh! well that helps me keep my fire...
something needs to be done. this is fricken rediculous!

Mother to Sandrel(oct 2003) and Liesl(mar 2006) and someone new coming February 2013

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#29 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 06:48 PM
 
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Is there a medical anthropologist at KU that would testify on your behalf? You might want to ask around and see if anyone there has any "official" knowledge about birth or Native American beliefs? So sorry you are going through this.

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#30 of 76 Old 04-09-2006, 06:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bellona
Scary, scary stuff. How do you find out if it's 'allowed' in your state?
im sorry i had to laugh... its legal everywhere... they cant have universal rules surrounding birth like that, its too unpredictable! they dont go around locking up women who didnt get to the hospital in time. i really debated whether or not to post this because i feared it would push women away from uc. it just sad to think they have any power over us. theyre just bullies... and i for one am not going to let them take my luch money

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