I am sorry you zre having a bad day.
I am like this a lot.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Of course, I calm down as I'm dropping them off and feel bad they have to think of me yelling all day.
Then my husband comes home five minutes after I've logged on and asks me to log off.
I'm not yelling. I'm not. I swear. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!
We all have bad days. And sometimes, we can even have bad phases...like when my son was four. Bad year. Woo. Good luck and hang in there. A truly bad mother wouldn't worry about being bad. KWIM?
I think it is a question of resources. Nobody wants to have these bad mommy moments. But they happen. We moms just never ever get enough sleep, exersize, space, prayer, comfort, respect, etc. At least, we never get enough to perform optimally with our children all the time. We just "run out" sometimes, and no matter how much we try we can't live up to our own standards.
For me, it is very frustrating. It is like being in sight of a goal and never quite reaching it, and it can be very troubling when our dear little ones take the brunt of it when we "loose it."
I don't have any sage advice, but tons of empathy for you.
ITA with Mamaduck
Free To Be~
"Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is."
Anyway, thanks again. It's always nice to know that others our there are experiencing the same things
Hugs hon, ever since I began working the graveyard shift, I have seen how evil I can be. Poor kids. I will flip, tell DD to make her own breakfast(she is 5),etc. Yesterday, I was ready to box Tyson. Then my glasses broke so bad (just broke after much abuse from DS!!) that I had to call outta work! Sure, I need the $$ but guess what? I am much nicer today now that I had rest and got contacts...lol
Anyway, I talk to my kids about my mistakes alot and try hard not to be so cranky, but with little rest (add PMS) and a restless 18 month old, it can be rough. Stay strong,we know how ya feel!
It's amazing, on the few days I'm well rested, I can let so much slide, joke in tough situations, and not take things personally. Then there are the rest of the days...sigh.