I am an awful mother today... (warning - bit of a rant) - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 03:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I never yell, but I've yelled at ds twice today. I'm exhausted, have absolutely no patience, am tired of being used as a human jungle gym and tug toy, have way too many stressors and nothing that I can "let slip" and just feel like crawling into a hole and covering myself up. I hate nursing, hate having to brush the teeth of an unwilling toddler (something that's become a terrible battle of wills lately which is something I really try to avoid), hate having to clean up messes when I just cleaned up a mess in that exact spot three minutes before.... poor kid. I'm sure he's wondering when the big, ugly monster came and took over for his mama. I'm ashamed to admit that I've sat him in front of the television just to get a few minutes to myself

Blah.
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#2 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 04:06 PM
 
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I am sorry you zre having a bad day.
I am like this a lot.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#3 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 04:11 PM
 
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We all have bad days. I get tired of being a tug toy too! And the cheerios on the floor that crunch with every step you take DRIVES ME NUTS!!!

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#4 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 06:26 PM
 
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I'm an awful mother every morning when we're heading out the door for school. Of course, at that time of day, I'll tell you I'm okay, my kids are awful. This very morning I told them I was yelling because they obviously like to hear me yelling because they keep doing the things that make me yell.

Of course, I calm down as I'm dropping them off and feel bad they have to think of me yelling all day.

Then my husband comes home five minutes after I've logged on and asks me to log off.

I'm not yelling. I'm not. I swear. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!

We all have bad days. And sometimes, we can even have bad phases...like when my son was four. Bad year. Woo. Good luck and hang in there. A truly bad mother wouldn't worry about being bad. KWIM?
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#5 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 07:06 PM
 
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Dont worry we all have bad days, and as long as all your days aren't like that then I wouldn't worry. Before I was a mom I used to be all anti-TV no matter what, but now as a mother I have learned that on those kinda days it is a lifesaver, and I don't think it is bad as long as that is all it is, a sanity saver, once in a while kinda thing. So I have decided a kid sitting in front of the TV for a little too long once in a while is better than me losing my mind. I figure as long as that is how our days look on a regular basis then it's fine. Take a long breath, get a cup of tea, it will be alright.
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#6 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 07:23 PM
 
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Ack. I've been thinking about this lately. I have a very solid idea of what sort of parent I *want* to be. And this was not always true -- the first few years I was just absolutely in over my head. But now I have my priorities sorted out, I have a fairly well articulated philosophy, and good strategies based on that philosophy. And I STILL freak out more often than I like to admit.

I think it is a question of resources. Nobody wants to have these bad mommy moments. But they happen. We moms just never ever get enough sleep, exersize, space, prayer, comfort, respect, etc. At least, we never get enough to perform optimally with our children all the time. We just "run out" sometimes, and no matter how much we try we can't live up to our own standards.

For me, it is very frustrating. It is like being in sight of a goal and never quite reaching it, and it can be very troubling when our dear little ones take the brunt of it when we "loose it."

I don't have any sage advice, but tons of empathy for you.
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#7 of 11 Old 02-24-2003, 10:59 PM
 
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Just want to say BTDT too....
ITA with Mamaduck

Free To Be~
Traci
"Living is learning and when kids are living fully and energetically and happily they are learning a lot, even if we don't always know what it is."
~John Holt 

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#8 of 11 Old 02-25-2003, 04:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the replies and the support, mamas... today is much better. I think a large part of the problem yesterday was that I knew things would be so much better if we could just get out of the house for awhile (they always are), but ds was adamantly opposed to getting dressed. After practically having to hog-tie him to get his teeth brushed, I wasn't willing to initiate yet another power struggle....

Anyway, thanks again. It's always nice to know that others our there are experiencing the same things

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#9 of 11 Old 02-25-2003, 05:28 PM
 
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Me? Yell? NEVER! You hear me?!?!? NEVER! I NEVER YELL OR SCREAM!!!! lmao

Hugs hon, ever since I began working the graveyard shift, I have seen how evil I can be. Poor kids. I will flip, tell DD to make her own breakfast(she is 5),etc. Yesterday, I was ready to box Tyson. Then my glasses broke so bad (just broke after much abuse from DS!!) that I had to call outta work! Sure, I need the $$ but guess what? I am much nicer today now that I had rest and got contacts...lol

Anyway, I talk to my kids about my mistakes alot and try hard not to be so cranky, but with little rest (add PMS) and a restless 18 month old, it can be rough. Stay strong,we know how ya feel!
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#10 of 11 Old 02-25-2003, 07:33 PM
 
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How weird. My glasses broke yesterday too, and we were out of coffee. It felt like spending the day under water. And yeah, I was feeling pretty grumpy!
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#11 of 11 Old 02-26-2003, 02:47 AM
 
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I get angry far more often than I want. I'm astonished at how forgiving I usually was when DD was a baby compared with how peeved I get now that she's a toddler. For me so much of my anger is about being tired. I unfortunately am a person who needs a lot of sleep, like eight hours is the minimum I can get and feel human. I'm quite an ogre on days when I don't get enough sleep, and although some of that is b/c of DD, a lot is because I get so little time to myself, I stay up just to do something I want to do. Then I end up being exhausted. Dumb, huh? On the other hand, I need the time after 2 years of rarely getting to do what I want. So it's a Catch 22 if you KWIM.

It's amazing, on the few days I'm well rested, I can let so much slide, joke in tough situations, and not take things personally. Then there are the rest of the days...sigh.

Carol
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