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How does it come to this???

3K views 67 replies 39 participants last post by  nikisager 
#1 ·
I was at a cookout last weekend with some friends (it was several families) and I met a delightful 5 year old child with eating habits that made me really sad. She apparently will only eat raw peeled sliced potatoes with salt on them and bacon!
HOW (could someone please tell me?) does it come to this?? How could a child that young have such a weird diet? And the thing is, they catered to her... they bought bacon and a potato just so she would eat.
: Her older brother is allergic (we're talking anaphylaxis) to dairy and he had asked for some soy milk. My friend had a ton of it in the fridge so it wasn't a problem... but his mother said "Why can't you make it easy on me and just want Dr. Pepper??"
I was absolutely flabbergasted...
 
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#4 ·
O.M.G. Dr. Pepper as a substitute for milk? Raw potatoes, salt and bacon as the basis for her whole diet?

That's neglectful. As parents we have the responsiblity to place healthy food in front of our children and they will eat it if they no there's no crappy food forthcoming. I hate seeing that crap. There's nothing wrong with the occasional Dr. Pepper or potato and bacon snack but all the time?
:
 
#5 ·
That is sad. I know some kids are just weird like that. What gets me is when it is a really young child like a toddler. They dont even know about other foods unless you expose them to them. On my old "mainstream" birth board i was horrified to see threads (when our kids were 9 months old) that said "my baby will only eat smores flavored oatmeal and will only drink pepsi, what should i do?"
I was like dd doesnt even KNOW what pepsi or smores oatmeal are! Now that she is older she cant be tricked so easily so we dont keep that stuff in our house. If it isnt there she cant have it.

I know about the catering - my overwieght sickly little step bro will only eat cheese pizza, hotdogs, and chicken nuggets. Everyone caters to it.
 
#6 ·
My son has a sensory based feeding disorder. We caught it early, we're lucky. Lots of parents don't. And the thing is, kids with sensory issues wrt to food really would rather starve than eat something they find repulsive/defensive.

Sounds like that kiddo may have a feeding disorder. The mom probably made that joke because I'm sure she felt self conscious and needed to make humor to deflect. I have been there. I have used weird humor sometimes. You feel like people are looking at you funny, looking at your kid funny, and wondering what the heck you did wrong to "make" your child this way. My son still to this day won't eat *anything* green. Not even food he's familiar with (like applesauce) dyed green. Gags and vomits. Screams. He is almost 2.5 and still eats mostly (beige) pureed food. We are very accustomed to bringing our own food for ds with us *everywhere,* restaurants included.

Things are just not always what they seem.
 
#9 ·
: I really hate threads like this. My dd has sensory issues and has a very small list of foods she will eat. I will do whatever it takes to get her to eat those foods because kids with sensory issues will actually starve themselves before eating something that is unknown or scary to them. People tell me all the time "just don't cater to her", "you're the mom, just don't give her what she wants", "she will eventually eat when she gets hungry", etc.. I really get sick of hearing that kind of stuff because I'm not catering to her, I am taking care of her as HER PARENT. If I don't feed her the foods she will eat, she doesn't eat at all.
 
#11 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kathryn
: I really hate threads like this. My dd has sensory issues and has a very small list of foods she will eat. I will do whatever it takes to get her to eat those foods because kids with sensory issues will actually starve themselves before eating something that is unknown or scary to them. People tell me all the time "just don't cater to her", "you're the mom, just don't give her what she wants", "she will eventually eat when she gets hungry", etc.. I really get sick of hearing that kind of stuff because I'm not catering to her, I am taking care of her as HER PARENT. If I don't feed her the foods she will eat, she doesn't eat at all.
Yep. See my post.

I feel ya, sister. We're in the same boat. Sigh.
 
#14 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kathryn
: I really hate threads like this. My dd has sensory issues and has a very small list of foods she will eat. I will do whatever it takes to get her to eat those foods because kids with sensory issues will actually starve themselves before eating something that is unknown or scary to them. People tell me all the time "just don't cater to her", "you're the mom, just don't give her what she wants", "she will eventually eat when she gets hungry", etc.. I really get sick of hearing that kind of stuff because I'm not catering to her, I am taking care of her as HER PARENT. If I don't feed her the foods she will eat, she doesn't eat at all.
Kathryn. I have the same problems with Gabriel. I am taking him to see an OT next week, and I hoping they can help. It is like living in a nigtmare somtimes, having a kid that doesn't eat and having people judge you for it.
 
#16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kathryn
It's so hard, isn't it?

It is. And I hear/heard the exact same crap as you. I love the old "she'll eat when she's hungry" line. Dh said that time and time again (even AFTER the stinking diagnosis), and I finally had to break out one of my books to SHOW HIM IN WRITING that sensory kids *literally* will starve as opposed to eating something threatening.

I should be used to it, but stuff like this still gets my goat. But then, before I had a child with a feeding disorder, I thought the same thing. Interesting how having a special needs child just radically changes you, isn't it?


I feel your pain, man. I soooooo feel it.
 
#17 ·
That's tough. Maybe mom was just totally stressed out and feeling self-concious. Hopefully there are issues behind the child's diet and it's not just a refusal to eat healthy and mom catering to it. You never know I guess. I do agree that these days there are a LOT of parents around who truthfully DO feed their healthy children(by healthy I mean children who are capable of eating healthfully. using the word "normal" felt wrong as I meant children without health issues) these things and see no problem with it. For example, the child down the street from me eats cheese doodles and soda for lunch and peanut butter crackers(not even real ones, the packaged kind) for dinner. This is a normal meal for this child and he's not even 3 yet. The parents wonder why he's constantly acting out and hyper. Hmmmmm!

Meg
 
#19 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Baby Makes 4
AFter reading the posts from some of the other Moms I have to apologize. I never would have considered a sensory issue.

Sorry if I offended.
It's really okay, for me at least. Like I said, before I had a child with such a diagnosis, I thought the "they'll eat when they're hungry" and that parents were obviously at fault with kids like mine. Feeding disorders and sensory issues are relatively "new" as far as being properly diagnosed and treated, so of course most people don't know about them. It's totally okay, you didn't know, and I think for most of us special needs moms, we look at threads like this as a chance to get the word out and educate.

 
#20 ·
The power behind a mother who just wants their kid to eat something is something else, huh? I imagine if they thought their child would eat anything at the BBQ they wouldn't have felt the need to bring anything with them. We did that at Easter for our 2 year old. He used to love ham, but lately getting him to eat anything but apples, bananas or yogurt is a struggle. Oh yes, and steamed rice, that I put chopped veggie, chopped so small all you see it a tiny bit of orange or green here and there. I'm sure the IL's thought I was nuts opening up my tupperware of rice, and my container of yogurt trying to coax my son to eat. But I was more worried about him being cranky and miserable from not eating than I was worried what they though of me.

There was a time when he had french fries
: if he saw them, he wouldn't eat anything else. That's when DP and I gave up eating fries, not a bad thing for us to stop
But I cringe if we go out to eat with another couple and they get fries, I'm afraid my son will see then and refuse his own food.
 
#22 ·
I don;t mean to hijack this thread...but my DD sounds an awful lot like the kids who have sensory issues with food.... I have tried everything but she will literally gag and start screaming at a taste of an unfamiliar food. She will occasionally try new foods, (we offer her bites all the time) but it almost always ends in her retching. She won't even eat bread if it looks different than she is used too.. Maybe she is just sensitive but any links to more info would be appreciated!

Thanks
 
#23 ·
I've seen both sides of this, kids with sensory issues and then those who have parents who cater to them and fill them with junk (my nephew!) I really feel for those who truly do have sensory issues, though, as people can be so judgemental.


ETA: I know different with my nephew because he WILL eat when he stays with me.
 
#24 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kathryn
: I really hate threads like this. My dd has sensory issues and has a very small list of foods she will eat. I will do whatever it takes to get her to eat those foods because kids with sensory issues will actually starve themselves before eating something that is unknown or scary to them. People tell me all the time "just don't cater to her", "you're the mom, just don't give her what she wants", "she will eventually eat when she gets hungry", etc.. I really get sick of hearing that kind of stuff because I'm not catering to her, I am taking care of her as HER PARENT. If I don't feed her the foods she will eat, she doesn't eat at all.
I am really sorry...
I really did not know that sensory issues would cause kids to eat like that. I meant no harm!
My apologies.

In this case I do not know if she has a sensory problem or not... she seemed like a very normal girl in all other ways... I sure did not mean to make you feel bad!
If she does have a problem with that, I am not sure her parents are aware of it... makes me wonder now
 
#25 ·
Thanks to the mamas whose kids have the sensory issues for bringing it up. I learned a lot from your posts.
 
#26 ·
I have known kids with sensory issues (i think i called it "wierd food things" - i didnt know the technical term) There was one girl who would throw up anything that wasnt COLD. She could eat anything cold, soup pizza, eggs etc. But if any of these foods were warm at all she puked.

It would be hard to live with that and wonder what people are thinking. There is a big diff between that and the kids whose parents just dont care and give the kid whatever is easy.
 
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