Join Date: Mar 2002
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Cerri, I know what you mean. Yesterday I took the car in to get much-needed new tires, walked around town for two hours, came home and did laundry and dishes, helped kids with homework, discovered that I had the snack duty for basketball and forgot, helped with more homework, did more dishes and laundry, etc. etc. You get the picture. This morning, I had a big headache, and just flopped on the couch with the cat for an hour or so. Then I headed out to my garden and nipped and poked. I feel SO much better now. I'm ready to roll again!
Laralou, I'm struggling with several issues, actually. Yes, the transitions are somewhat bumpy. Then, there's the sheer exhaustion of trying to be both mom and dad, the loneliness, and finally the guilt that comes from adjusting to his being gone, and finding that I enjoy the silence, take-out dinners, less laundry, no fights between dh and dd (16.)
Also, when he's gone, I tend to open up more to those around me. There's a certain lucid state that is only present when I'm truly alone. For example, when he's here, he tends to be the main one who takes ds to basketball and baseball practice while I attend to dd's needs and other hot spots. (I'm not very sports-minded.) When he's gone, though, I take ds, and find that (being in my more-open-to-those-around-me phase,) I actually enjoy the events and the people, even though most people tend to focus on asking me where my husband is and when he'll be back instead of showing any interest in boring old me! I wish they'd realize that I do have thoughts and feelings and even a few lofty ideals.
Does any of this sound familiar? What are your feelings?
The return transition is also bumpy since I usually feel compelled to present an exhausted dh with a list of things that broke or leaked while he was gone at the same time that he's buried in paperwork, phone calls and emergencies at the office. He just wants to hide, so he gets crabby and everyone gets mad and leaves him alone, wishing he would go away again. Soon he does, and the cycle repeats itself.