Do you drink in front of your kids? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-26-2006, 08:27 PM
 
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Well, we had a keg at dd's 2nd bday :

So I guess I see no problem with drinking in front of children, drinking at children's bday parties, or having a keg at one

Most of her friends are adults that like good beer. They were all there to see her but also happened to enjoy a pint or two of some kickin' good brew along with my homemade veggie burgers and cake.

We model responsible drinking behavior. If/when dd sees irresponsible behavior, we will talk about it, just like any other irresponsible behavior. I enjoy a good microbrew or a glass of wine and I see no reason why this should be a problem.

My parents never ever drank in front of me. In fact they did not drink at all. They let me know they disapproved of alcohol and that they would not attend family events where alcohol was served. My dh came from a family of moderate drinkers, they had alcohol available at family and social events, and they allowed their teens to try it at home. We were BOTH binge drinkers in HS and college and *shockingly* settled down to be normal, responsible, occasional drinkers. Of course this is all antedotal. But the fact is, nothing "works" to keep kids from ever touching the stuff. So I am going to keep on enjoying by occasional brew, even if it is at a bday party.
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Old 04-27-2006, 12:45 AM
 
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We drink in front of our boys. All things in moderation
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Old 04-27-2006, 12:52 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ckberkey
We drink in front of our boys. All things in moderation
...including moderation...
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Old 04-27-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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My mom was a drunk (an abusive one at that!) who passed out every night (I would wait for the 'thud' to know it was OK to come out of my room). From a very early age I said my children would never see me drunk. I adopted a child with FAS. That combined with memories of my mom made me not drink in front of my child. She has seen me have drink now and then (maybe 3 or 4 times in her life), my family drinks and she sees them. There is a good chance that alcohol will affect her differently so I try to model to her that you don't need to drink to have a good time.

So to answer the question. No, I don't drink in front of my child...I don't drink behind her back either!
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Old 04-27-2006, 03:06 AM
 
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I have wine with dinner about once a week, and my 9yo dd has a small glass. My 6yo ds doesn't care for the taste, but will occasionally have a sip of mine if he's forgotten it tastes bad, lol.

Heather married to my highschool sweetheart 6/7/02 :cop: Mother to Dani age 14 and Timmy age 10 Nadia 1/29 :
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Old 04-27-2006, 10:25 AM
 
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I won't because I don't drink. DH may have a beer once in a great while. Growing up alcohol was not a part of celebrations. My mom drinks wine every night (probably 1/2 glass) but I never grew up associating holidays, etc with alcohol so it wouldn't even occur to me to serve it on special occasions.

I don't buy the idea that if children aren't around alcohol growing up that they will abuse it later. I think alcohol abuse has much deeper roots and isn't really about the alcohol per say, but about blunting feelings and altering mental state as a way of coping with life. It isn't that alcoholics aren't familiar with people who drink responsibly, it is that they are unable to themselves.
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Old 04-27-2006, 10:29 AM
 
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I am not drinking right now since I am still nursing, but I see no problems with adults having a few beers or glasses of wine in front of my children. I prefer that people not get really drunk in front of them, but at family parties and whatnot I really can't control if someone decides to get a little tipsy. I think as long as my husband and I am modeling responsible alcohol consumption, then the kids will remember that when they are adults and engaging in adult activities like drinking.
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Old 04-27-2006, 09:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sohj
Yup.

Also, we actually make beer in our house. Very good beer. Occasionally even harvesting wild yeast (this is a new thing, we're not sure how these beers are going to taste).
We homebrew too! I've never heard of harvesting wild yeast for beer... I've heard of that for bread though so it makes sense.

Yes, we drink our homemade beer in front of the kids.

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Old 04-27-2006, 09:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by riotkrrn
I've never bought a keg of beer for any party at my house, but I will stock the fridge with food and drink that I feel my guests might enjoy. Any family-type gathering that I host is likely to have beer, wine, soda, juice, milk and water available.
Me too. Birthday parties in our family are usually just a big casual cookout with the extended family. I stock the fridge with beer, wine, soda, etc. anything that I think or know my guests will like just like I would for any dinner party.

I've never purchased a keg of beer for a party but we keg our homemade beer in 5 gallon soda kegs so technically I guess we've always got a keg on tap at our house.

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Old 04-27-2006, 10:20 PM
 
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Yep. It's a normal part of my life, and I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of, so I've never thought about *NOT* doing it while my children are around. I'm talking a couple glasses of wine - not drinking in excess. I grew up with a mother who is overly religious & acts like having a drink is a huge sin, while my dad would order ***A**** drink while out with friends & she'd act all irritated by that. I always thought that was so silly, I just decided it would be a non-issue for me. Of course, I'm not dealing with anyone in my family who has an alcohol problem - I could see that changing my opinion.
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Old 04-28-2006, 01:39 AM
 
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i drink in front of my kids. usually its light to moderate drinking though if shes around. usually with aa meal or at least snacks.

moderate to heavy drinking happens when i am not around her or after her bedtime. and as i'm nursing a 6 mos old i haven't had that kind of night in quite a while. dh has had a few more wild nights than i but mainly at the urging of his friends none of whom are parents and who thankfully have moved away for college, jobs, etc. so its been more infrequent for him too as of late.

i also talk with them about drinking. dd (6) knows that drinking "too much" can make you mean, or loud, or just stupid. she knows that sometimes if you drink "too much" ypu throw up or feel bad the next day. most of these things have come up as a result of me talking about this or that friend as i don't usually drink that much. i think she has seen dh suffer through a hangover but don't know if she has connected it all b/c anything more than a coupla beers happens after shes in bed.

as far as family issues there is some alcoholism in the family. dd's dad is a recovering alcoholic. in fact i recently had the very first conversation with her about his drinkiing. my maternal g-ma and paternal g-pa had some problem/alcoholic drinking. dh and i both have overindulged at times. theres only one set of teetotalers in the family and thats my dad and his wife. (and even they give it up for my g-mom's eggnog) for the most part though the family is full of moderate responsible drinkers who occaisionally exersice poor judgement. we try to share the whole process with the kids.
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Old 04-28-2006, 03:28 PM
 
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Yes. I think it sets a good impression on what responsible drinking is.
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Old 04-29-2006, 05:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hellyaellen
i drink in front of my kids. usually its light to moderate drinking though if shes around. usually with aa meal or at least snacks.

moderate to heavy drinking happens when i am not around her or after her bedtime. and as i'm nursing a 6 mos old i haven't had that kind of night in quite a while. dh has had a few more wild nights than i but mainly at the urging of his friends none of whom are parents and who thankfully have moved away for college, jobs, etc. so its been more infrequent for him too as of late.

i also talk with them about drinking. dd (6) knows that drinking "too much" can make you mean, or loud, or just stupid. she knows that sometimes if you drink "too much" ypu throw up or feel bad the next day. most of these things have come up as a result of me talking about this or that friend as i don't usually drink that much. i think she has seen dh suffer through a hangover but don't know if she has connected it all b/c anything more than a coupla beers happens after shes in bed.

as far as family issues there is some alcoholism in the family. dd's dad is a recovering alcoholic. in fact i recently had the very first conversation with her about his drinkiing. my maternal g-ma and paternal g-pa had some problem/alcoholic drinking. dh and i both have overindulged at times. theres only one set of teetotalers in the family and thats my dad and his wife. (and even they give it up for my g-mom's eggnog) for the most part though the family is full of moderate responsible drinkers who occaisionally exersice poor judgement. we try to share the whole process with the kids.
That's a really good way to teach it! I'll def. Bookmark this to come back to later on.
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Old 04-29-2006, 11:11 AM
 
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DH and I drink very little. We might have a glass of wine with dinner on occasion, but we might go a month or two and not drink any alcohol at all. In the summer if we barbecue we'll have a beer or two.

I agree that it's good for kids to see what responsible alcohol consumption looks like. DD knows what too much alcohol can do to a person, because we have talked to her about it. She did once ask to taste my wine and I let her have a tiny sip. She said she liked it, but I made it clear that she was not allowed to have any more because it was a "grown-up drink." None of our relatives are drinkers, either.

I grew up with a mother who came home and had a couple of glasses of wine a night, and in retrospect, may have been a little too dependent on it for relaxing after a day at work, though I didn't realize it at the time. So what I saw was that an adult can enjoy a drink or two and it wasn't an issue. I did my share of drinking in high school and college, but it never got really out of hand. And because i grew up in the city without a car, driving was never an issue - I never drove under the influence (I didn't get my license until I was in my twenties!), nor did I accept rides from anyone who was drinking.

My college roommate was the only survivor of a drunk driving accident - she was out with her two friends, they were all drinking, and the one who was the "least drunk" took the wheel. He lost control of the car when it skidded on some wet pavement and crashed into the divider and he and the other passenger both died. It was horrible. I think that had an impact on me, too.
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