This may take awhile. I became friends with a woman who is an abrasive personality and tends to portray herself as a victim of her children; for example, "They run and yell in the house it's just crazy, their friends' parents abuse my hospitality by leaving their kids here too long, the teachers are idiots, no one at their school is worthwhile, the other parents all do the kids work for them," you get the picture. Her pre-teen daughter has problems maintaining friendships. I no longer know what to tell my friend when she complains about the other girls not wanting to be friends with her daughter. I see the issue as being a combination of things -- the victim mentality of the mom, the daughter's social skills are not good, and the family is stridently religious and has a big attitude that people of their religion are always shortchanged, and the mom is not shy about pointing this out publically. In short, the parents at school and on sports teams avoid this family like the plague because of my friend's outlook.
I love my friend and I can see past all these issues, but it's getting tiresome hearing about her daughter being a victim of other girls. I don't doubt girls in middle school can be mean, and believe me, I am not blaming the victim, but I no longer know what to say to the mom, other than "you might try not flying off the handle and being so abrasive all the time. . . " I don't want to lose my friend. Can anyone shed some pragmatic light on what I am to do????? Thanks, fellow mommas.