I don't use carseats - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 11:44 AM
 
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Originally Posted by hhurd
"Other points of view" are often unwelcome here. Don't let the vocal majority try and shut you up, or paint you as a terrible, selfish and negligent mother.
Where is this coming from in relation to this thread?

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#62 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 11:54 AM - Thread Starter
 
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She is refering to a portable car seat Dragenfly posted.

Quote:
Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom
we had one and i don't think it is that safe. i could never get it tight enough. IMO a seatbelt would work just as good.
SHOOT! I knew it was too good to be true. I'm going to search for some on-line reviews of those carseats tonight.
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#63 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 11:55 AM
 
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Originally Posted by veggiemama4
It seems to me that you are more concerned with going places than with the safety of your kids. It is a sad thing and I wish them the best.If that's the kind of parent you choose to be than I am sorry for you.
Well, HelloKitty, here's ONE example.
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#64 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:05 PM
 
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http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...19010?v=glance

Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom
we had one and i don't think it is that safe. i could never get it tight enough. IMO a seatbelt would work just as good.


Check this out. It's called Mighty Tite, and it's soooo easy to use. We have one in dh's truck...it's old and the seatbelts just don't tighten. It tightens a carseat much more effectively than the H-clip or(or was it I clip?...the metal peice that comes with carseats) and you can install/uninstall a carseat in a snap. Totally worth the 16 bucks. In fact, I feel like the carseat in dh's 1989 pickup is much more secure than the carseat in my LATCH compatable 2002 Civic. I've been seriously considering getting a second one and throwing the latch teathers out the window!

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#65 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigama
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...19010?v=glance

Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom
we had one and i don't think it is that safe. i could never get it tight enough. IMO a seatbelt would work just as good.


Check this out. It's called Mighty Tite, and it's soooo easy to use. We have one in dh's truck...it's old and the seatbelts just don't tighten. It tightens a carseat much more effectively than the H-clip or(or was it I clip?...the metal peice that comes with carseats) and you can install/uninstall a carseat in a snap. Totally worth the 16 bucks. In fact, I feel like the carseat in dh's 1989 pickup is much more secure than the carseat in my LATCH compatable 2002 Civic. I've been seriously considering getting a second one and throwing the latch teathers out the window!
Do not EVER use a Mitey Tite. They are dangerous, untested secondary materials that can actually sever the seatbelt in a bad crash. Do NOT use this item.
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#66 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:10 PM
 
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Since when does one post make up a vocal majority?

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#67 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:12 PM
 
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Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
I am taking a trip to the states by plane soon. My younger child will not be in a car seat because I can't afford to buy another plane ticket. Either that, or we all stay home.
I totally understand what you're saying, I've always wondered what women who use public transportation do about carseats, but I just wanted to say that you can check your carseats at the gate of the plane. If there are any extra seats, the airline is required to give them to you for free for your carseat. There's no need to buy a seat for a child, I took a trip to NC from WI, and of the 4 flights (I had a stop in Chicago) I only had 1 that we couldn't use the carseat because it was full. We ended up putting her in the sling on my lap.
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#68 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:14 PM
 
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nak...

It was like that where I grew up (no carseats) but I was already 7 when we moved there (caribbean) and my kids were born in france&canada.

But I have a similar dilemma. I take the bus and sometimes get rides home. I found a community center that rents newborn seats for 4$/month and I could easily wear Leigh and carry the seat on the bus then use it on the ride home. But now she and the seat are just not "carriable" together. Sometimes I do stay home and feel frustrated or I go without the seat and take the bus home even if someone offers a ride (though long with an active toddler so sometimes I just don't go).

I know this won't help the OP but I do understand her situation and the non-universal car-seat "principle".

Maybe an MDC mom can lend her a carseat? Where will you be in the US?
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#69 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:15 PM
 
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Wow, this thread is full of judgment.

It's easy to sit back and judge, tell people they don't have their priorities in order, say that we feel sorry for them, list our credentials as "mama to two car seated kids," when our sparkly Britax Whosawhats are installed in our vehicles in our driveway steps from our front door.

And comparing this issue to the airport is silly IMO. Yes the airport is a PITA, but most of us don't go very often. Imagine going thru a huge giant hassle every time you wanted to go out? I'd either stay home or find a way around the hassle. And you can only stay home for so long.

When my daughter was small I didn't have a vehicle, and even with the bucket seat it was a huge, giant PITA to tote around the bucket seat, or have it with me whenever I might need to grab a ride or a taxi.

Moreover, toting around two toddler carseats along with two toddlers is more than a PITA, it is an impossibility. In the OP's position, depending on how big and busy the roads are between my house and the store/park/wherever, I would probably do exactly as she is doing.

I think people should try to extend themselves beyond your own experiences a little bit, and instead of imagining you would strap those seats to your back wherever you go and not mind a bit, contemplate the daily reality.
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#70 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigama
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg...19010?v=glance

Originally Posted by scatterbrainedmom
we had one and i don't think it is that safe. i could never get it tight enough. IMO a seatbelt would work just as good.


Check this out. It's called Mighty Tite, and it's soooo easy to use. We have one in dh's truck...it's old and the seatbelts just don't tighten. It tightens a carseat much more effectively than the H-clip or(or was it I clip?...the metal peice that comes with carseats) and you can install/uninstall a carseat in a snap. Totally worth the 16 bucks. In fact, I feel like the carseat in dh's 1989 pickup is much more secure than the carseat in my LATCH compatable 2002 Civic. I've been seriously considering getting a second one and throwing the latch teathers out the window!
Just wanted to note that this product is not crash tested and not safe. It is an aftermarket part. After market parts do not need to be used if the car seat is installed correctly. Aftermarket parts like the mighty tight only mask an incorrect install. If you want to have the seat checked you can go here for info on someone certified in your area who can assist you. http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/CPS/CPSFitting/Index.cfm It may just be a matter of you locking your seatbelt. Pull the belt all the way out and then feed a little back into the retractor. Try to pull it out again and if you have a lockable belt, it should not come back out. It will lock everytime you feed belt in and then try to get more belt out.

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CPS Instructor and momma to 2 sons in seats
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#71 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:21 PM
 
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#72 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:21 PM
 
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When DS was 2 months old I took a trip to the Virgin Islands. I had taken the car seat with us so he would be safe - our ride picks up up from the airport and the van had no seatbelts. Boy, was I surprised.

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Mom to John (age 11), James (age 9) & Katherine (age 5)
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#73 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
Wow, this thread is full of judgment.

It's easy to sit back and judge, tell people they don't have their priorities in order, say that we feel sorry for them, list our credentials as "mama to two car seated kids," when our sparkly Britax Whosawhats are installed in our vehicles in our driveway steps from our front door.

And comparing this issue to the airport is silly IMO. Yes the airport is a PITA, but most of us don't go very often. Imagine going thru a huge giant hassle every time you wanted to go out? I'd either stay home or find a way around the hassle. And you can only stay home for so long.

When my daughter was small I didn't have a vehicle, and even with the bucket seat it was a huge, giant PITA to tote around the bucket seat, or have it with me whenever I might need to grab a ride or a taxi.

Moreover, toting around two toddler carseats along with two toddlers is more than a PITA, it is an impossibility. In the OP's position, depending on how big and busy the roads are between my house and the store/park/wherever, I would probably do exactly as she is doing.

I think people should try to extend themselves beyond your own experiences a little bit, and instead of imagining you would strap those seats to your back wherever you go and not mind a bit, contemplate the daily reality.
:

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#74 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:26 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
It's easy to sit back and judge, tell people they don't have their priorities in order, say that we feel sorry for them, list our credentials as "mama to two car seated kids," when our sparkly Britax Whosawhats are installed in our vehicles in our driveway steps from our front door.
Are you referring to me when you posted the "mama to two car seated kids" comment?
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#75 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by dallaschildren
Are you referring to me when you posted the "mama to two car seated kids" comment?
Yup.
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#76 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:31 PM
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(to the two pps)

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#77 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:32 PM
 
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[QUOTE=dallaschildren It may just be a matter of you locking your seatbelt. Pull the belt all the way out and then feed a little back into the retractor. Try to pull it out again and if you have a lockable belt, it should not come back out. It will lock everytime you feed belt in and then try to get more belt out.

Dallaschildren
CPS Instructor and momma to 2 sons in seats[/QUOTE]


The seat belt in the extened cab of dh's truck do not lock. They pull out and out and out and out....And then stay there. They do not come back in at all.

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#78 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:33 PM
 
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Originally Posted by thismama
Yup.
Your comment is out of line. How rude. I earned my license, I work my ass off helping parents, even those with poor attitudes like yours, and I know my kids are as safe as they can be in a moving ton of steel in their car seats. It sounds like you ain't so confident.

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CPS Instructor and momma to 2 sons in seats
(gasp and they are Britax whosahwats )
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#79 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:36 PM
 
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Well that's great, DC, I am not criticizing you for using seats for your children, or for teaching other people how to use them.

What I am saying is that as a mama with Britax Whosawhats installed in your car in your driveway, you (and others in a similar position who are posting in judgment on this thread) cannot know what it is like to be a mama who does not have Britax Whosawhats installed in her car in her driveway. Kwim?
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#80 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigama
The seat belt in the extened cab of dh's truck do not lock. They pull out and out and out and out....And then stay there. They do not come back in at all.
You have what we call in our field, PITA seatbelts. I am sorry you have probably had a tough time getting a tight fit. You have what is referred to as "emergency" locking retractors, which only lock when you break hard. Please try to find a certified fitting station and have it installed with a locking clip. Locking clips are heavy duty specially designed clips that are used in installs with belts like what is in your car and are made to withstand crash forces until your seatbelt kicks in to do it's job.

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#81 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:40 PM
 
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Thank you DC

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#82 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
Well that's great, DC, I am not criticizing you for using seats for your children, or for teaching other people how to use them.

What I am saying is that as a mama with Britax Whosawhats installed in your car in your driveway, you (and others in a similar position who are posting in judgment on this thread) cannot know what it is like to be a mama who does not have Britax Whosawhats installed in her car in her driveway. Kwim?
No where in this thread did I judge the OP. No where. I gave her factual info in an empathtic way. I did not berate her or criticize her for not using car seats. I don't have to agree and do not. Her situation is not all that uncommon. Very little surprises me. Where have I ever berated someone for not buying Britax? Where have I ever judged someone because they don't have a Britax? What I have a problem with is you bringing my kids and my sig line into your post. That's BS and totally uncalled for and quite personal. FTR, I post that particular sig line only after posts I am addressing in a professional capacity. I have the license and the "credentials" and I am very proud of the work I do. If that offends anyone or makes them feel judged, that's not my problem. When you go to the doctor, do you not want to know what his/her credentials are? Would you be suspect if they didn't have any?

DC
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#83 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:53 PM
 
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What I am saying is that "mama to two car seated kids" is relative, IMO, in this thread, if your car is sitting in your driveway. I am a mama who has BTDT with having a kid but no vehicle, and I know what a PITA it is to deal with the car seat issue.

I have heard the judgments all around this board, the "OMGZ she got a taxi but she DIDN'T HAVE A CARSEAT!!!!!!!111" from mamas who own vehicles. And here it is on this thread.

I think if you have not BTDT, and are a mama to one or two or three car seated kids who owns a vehicle that you can access whenever you want by taking just a few steps out to the driveway, I believe you (general) ought to step back from judging and waxing eloquent about all the heroic measures you (general) would take in the OP's situation.

That's all I'm saying.
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#84 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:55 PM
 
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I know this is slightly OT, and not really contributing, but this is one of the most bizarre threads I have read...

My goodness.

FTR, I do use seats, I would choose to use seats at every possible time, I have been inconvenienced many times by using them and still choose too. I was going to say a bunch more, but it's all been said, and this just isn't going anywhere....

Dallaschildren, are you in Dallas? I am in Flower Mound. You sound like you know your stuff

Shelley, mom to dd 5/19/01, ds 9/06/02, and ds 4/01/07.  Lost babe 4/09

belly.gifDue 12/18/12!

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#85 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 12:57 PM
 
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I haven't read this thread fully, but I wanted to add my 2 cents.

I have lived in Senegal and traveled a great deal in West Africa, where car seats are unheard of and seatbelts very rare.

The car accident rate is incredibly high (would be higher if more people privately owned cars) due to a lack of regulations for car care (no annual inspections, for example, lots of uncertified mechanics), really bad driving (esp. truck drivers who drive way too fast and are often on drugs), terrible roads, few traffic lights/signs, and no sidewalks.

Add on to that a high AIDS rate, tainted blood supplies, and few emergency medical evacuation facilities, and basically if you get into a serious car accident in West Africa, most likely you are dead.

The expectations for survivability is lower - this is true across the board for all things - illness, accidents, natural disasters. What we find objectionable in the US (a la hurricaine Katrina) is considered part of life in other parts of the world.

Does this make it okay or acceptable? Well, I personally find it evil that children die of preventable illnesses at the age of three. However, that doesn't make it okay to judge people for their decisions when they are coping with a system the best they can.

I judge the system and work to change the system.

For me, unfortunately, it often means that car seats drop to the bottom of the list. For example, I would be more concerned about the safety of public transportation in general. A car seat ain't helping if the taxi careens off a cliff (which I have actually seen happen in Cameroon - scariest moment of my life).

I have seen a bush taxi whose axle snapped in half. I have been in a taxi where the engine caught fire while we were driving. I have been in a bus that nearly flipped over because they were overloaded. These are seen as normal, daily risks - I doubt people are really going to think that a carseat is going to make a big difference.

I guess all I am saying is that we need to look at the context of the decision - and see that the context in most cases actually limits the choices individuals have.

Siobhan

You know the attributes for a great adult? Initiative, creativity, intellectual curiosity? They make for a helluva kid...
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#86 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 01:00 PM
 
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Thanks for the links to the portable carseats!

Seems like the two mentioned were not safe enough? For the OP, would the first one suggested (safe beginnings) be a good alternative to not using a car seat at all for 2 weeks? Seems like it might be a good idea to try...

Any more suggestions from everyone as to how to carry a carseat and a 16-month old kid : other carseats, portable or just lighter or with a strap or something? (I'd love to find one!!!)???
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#87 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 01:03 PM
 
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I have two portable car seats its just the backs and has a five point strap on it, it was designed for taxis, limos etc. They rock I can fit two in my diaper bag. I use a lot of public transportation the sit and stroll is also great for airports its a stroller and car seat combo.

http://cgi.ebay.com/Tote-n-Go-Portab...QQcmdZViewItem

8 might be enough
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#88 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 01:05 PM
 
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Good grief, this post got out of hand.

1. The OP has stated that she doesn't use car seats and describes the dillemma in the Virgin Islands.

2. She uses public transporation as her example. This is irrelevant, NO ONE uses car seats on public transportation ANYWHERE, because public transporation such as buses and subways and whatnot aren't DESIGNED for car seats.

3. She assumes people are thinking bad of her because of her situation. Other posters rush in to scold us for being 'judgemental'. Um, how rude. I wasn't judging her situation. At all. I don't think anyone else was. Why on earth would you bring a car seat onto a bus?

4. What it boils down to, here in the US and other similar countries, car seat usage is the law, car seats are readily available and not in comparison terribly expenisve. I can go to Wal-Mart and buy a perfectly good convertible for under 40 dollars. Not using a car seat in this country is inexcusable. In other countires, it's unfortunate but understandable.
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#89 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 01:07 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
What I am saying is that "mama to two car seated kids" is relative, IMO, in this thread, if your car is sitting in your driveway. I am a mama who has BTDT with having a kid but no vehicle, and I know what a PITA it is to deal with the car seat issue.
I haven't seen anyone say it isn't a PITA. And, as a mama who's been there/done that, I know for a fact it's a PITA. But lots of things about parenting are a big 'ol PITA. Some things you just have to suck up and deal with for the safety of your children.

There are options that make it easier and, although maybe not as safe as being in a locked-down carseat, safer than just relying on holding a babe in arms or putting a child in a seatbelt that doesn't fit properly (as would be the case with the portable 5-point restraint as opposed to the adult seatbelt). With those options, if they are available to you, I can't for the life of me imagine how anyone can justify not using one.
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#90 of 328 Old 05-19-2006, 01:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thismama
Wow, this thread is full of judgment.

It's easy to sit back and judge, tell people they don't have their priorities in order, say that we feel sorry for them, list our credentials as "mama to two car seated kids," when our sparkly Britax Whosawhats are installed in our vehicles in our driveway steps from our front door.

And comparing this issue to the airport is silly IMO. Yes the airport is a PITA, but most of us don't go very often. Imagine going thru a huge giant hassle every time you wanted to go out? I'd either stay home or find a way around the hassle. And you can only stay home for so long.

When my daughter was small I didn't have a vehicle, and even with the bucket seat it was a huge, giant PITA to tote around the bucket seat, or have it with me whenever I might need to grab a ride or a taxi.

Moreover, toting around two toddler carseats along with two toddlers is more than a PITA, it is an impossibility. In the OP's position, depending on how big and busy the roads are between my house and the store/park/wherever, I would probably do exactly as she is doing.

I think people should try to extend themselves beyond your own experiences a little bit, and instead of imagining you would strap those seats to your back wherever you go and not mind a bit, contemplate the daily reality.

A big 'ol YEAH THAT to that.
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