Any former day care workers think it's GOOD for kids? - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 03:18 PM
 
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Originally Posted by m9m9m9
One observation ~ I always find it interesting in the area I live in that many SAHMs say they would never use daycare yet they shuttle their child to various classes several mornings and afternoons a week essentially paying someone else to interact and "teach" their child and for the child to "socialize". At the same time, they say that socialization at a young age is not important and they are their child's teacher. I can't count how many times I have heard SAHMs say "I am so busy! We have kindermusic on Monday than ballet in the afternoon, Gymboree on Tuesday, etc and so forth" Sure she is busy - busy making sure she doesn't have to spend time at home with her child.
Wow, what a judgmental paragraph.

Although I'm not really sure what your point is.

Are you saying that a mother going to programs with her child is the same as daycare? That seems to be what you're saying. I'm not sure why it would be a bad thing for a SAHM to want to go out with her kids some, and find some programs she thinks would enrich them, so maybe you can clarify what you're implying there.
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#92 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 03:49 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KristiMetz
Wow, what a judgmental paragraph.

Although I'm not really sure what your point is.

Are you saying that a mother going to programs with her child is the same as daycare? That seems to be what you're saying. I'm not sure why it would be a bad thing for a SAHM to want to go out with her kids some, and find some programs she thinks would enrich them, so maybe you can clarify what you're implying there.
ITA, wow :

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#93 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 03:54 PM
 
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I *think* I understand what she was trying to say. I do know plenty of moms who have their kids so tightly scheduled that there is no time for relaxed free-play. They jump from one class to the next class to the next play group and suddenly it's time for dinner and bed and the child is exhausted. I get exhausted just listening to them. I don't think she was referring to a few classes or programs a week. At least I hope she wasn't...
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#94 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 04:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KristiMetz
Wow, what a judgmental paragraph.

Although I'm not really sure what your point is.

Are you saying that a mother going to programs with her child is the same as daycare? That seems to be what you're saying. I'm not sure why it would be a bad thing for a SAHM to want to go out with her kids some, and find some programs she thinks would enrich them, so maybe you can clarify what you're implying there.
As a WOHM, I sometimes feel the same as m9m9m9. The thought that daycare is awful and being a SAHM is the way to go is prevalent everywhere. Being a SAHM is not for everyone.

The point I think she was trying to make is that quite a few SAHMs have this arrogance like "well, I'd NEVER put my kid in daycare" and one of the reasons often cited is because they, the mother, wants to spend time with their child. But then that very same mother overschedules their kids to the point that they don't really spend time with them. There's notion that only SAHMs spend meaningful, quality time with their children but the irony is that some of these mothers spend far less meaningful, quality time with their children than their WOHM counterparts.

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#95 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 04:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crazydiamond
The point I think she was trying to make is that quite a few SAHMs have this arrogance like "well, I'd NEVER put my kid in daycare" and one of the reasons often cited is because they, the mother, wants to spend time with their child. But then that very same mother overschedules their kids to the point that they don't really spend time with them. There's notion that only SAHMs spend meaningful, quality time with their children but the irony is that some of these mothers spend far less meaningful, quality time with their children than their WOHM counterparts.
I understand what you're saying and have definitely seen that. Maybe what's being missed, though, is that oftentimes SAHMs will do this because of pressure based on the highly vocalized assumption that their kids are being raised as social pariahs, deprived of the plethora of rich experiences that daycare kids are having. It's like a "shame on you for being so selfish to keep your kids home with you!" mentality that can really seep in before you know it. I know that's why a lot of people around here send their children to pre-school at 2 and 3 - because everyone tells them that if they don't, their child is going to be lacking.
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#96 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 04:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by phathui5
Honestly, I think that the childcare industry is what needs to step up and set the bar if anything is really going to happen. Competition breeds success and better work, not government regulations. I see government regulations get broken at the YMCA all the time. Now if parents had the daycares competing for their business, that would improve them.
The problem is is that there is no money to improve services, parents can only pay so much... I don't know about some of the big child care chains but the ones that I worked at were non profits and often barely scraping by. They are stuck in a no-win situation, they can't pay trained teachers w/o upping classroom ratios. Then the trained teachers get burned out because they are in sub-par learning environment and leave.
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#97 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 04:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Dragonfly
I understand what you're saying and have definitely seen that. Maybe what's being missed, though, is that oftentimes SAHMs will do this because of pressure based on the highly vocalized assumption that their kids are being raised as social pariahs, deprived of the plethora of rich experiences that daycare kids are having. It's like a "shame on you for being so selfish to keep your kids home with you!" mentality that can really seep in before you know it. I know that's why a lot of people around here send their children to pre-school at 2 and 3 - because everyone tells them that if they don't, their child is going to be lacking.
I agree with what you're saying as well! I know that if I was a SAHM I'd feel pressured to do all these activities because they are "required" to raise healthy, intelligent, and social children. Of course that's not true!

I think the bottom line is that people, everywhere, have opinions. Someone, somewhere, doesn't like what you're doing. Children are incredibly adaptable. Daycare is no guarantee of failure and SAH is no guarantee of success. It comes down to spending quality time with your children and really valuing them as people. Doing that has nothing to do with whether they attend daycare or SAH.

Mama to Boy (2) and Girl (5)
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#98 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 05:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by urklemama
Childcare is not only not professional, it's not even very highly skilled.
Don't you think that this is a problem? I would certainly prefer to have my child being taught by a skilled teacher with a MS in ECE who feels passion for her work than by someone just looking for a paycheck. I'm not sure where you law school and your bar exam comparrison is coming from but I know that folks getting teaching degrees in early childhood education from accredited universities go through the same educational hoops and elementary and HS techers do and we don't hesitate to call them "teachers".

Sadly ECE teachers get paid a tiny fraction of the pay the their higer ED peers do so teachers with an academic foundation in early childhood learning are available only to a small number of children.
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#99 of 104 Old 05-30-2006, 05:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by crazydiamond
I agree with what you're saying as well! I know that if I was a SAHM I'd feel pressured to do all these activities because they are "required" to raise healthy, intelligent, and social children. Of course that's not true!

I think the bottom line is that people, everywhere, have opinions. Someone, somewhere, doesn't like what you're doing. Children are incredibly adaptable. Daycare is no guarantee of failure and SAH is no guarantee of success. It comes down to spending quality time with your children and really valuing them as people. Doing that has nothing to do with whether they attend daycare or SAH.
Absolutely!
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#100 of 104 Old 05-31-2006, 01:31 PM
 
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[QUOTE=urklemama] You have to feel really low about what you do to insist that "teaching" preschool is the equivalent to surgery.QUOTE]

Who on earth said that???

You think there are only two professions: doctor and lawyer?

You can type your thread 2 million times, it still won't make any sense.
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#101 of 104 Old 05-31-2006, 03:12 PM
 
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Maybe this is OT...don't know. But just what exactly are we all trying to do here? raise the perfect child? does anyone really think that using/not using daycare, scheduling/not scheduling activities, etc etc etc is really the "right" way to parent? like some magic formula exists that will guarantee your child a perfectly balanced childhood and happy and fullfilling life? no anxiety, no sadness, no troubles at all? has anyone ever met an adult who fits this description?
it seems to me like that is a lot of preasure to put on a kid. after all, the mistakes my parents made(as well as all the love ) make me who I am today. and, well...I like who I am today.
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#102 of 104 Old 05-31-2006, 06:19 PM
 
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Originally Posted by m9m9m9
One observation ~ I always find it interesting in the area I live in that many SAHMs say they would never use daycare yet they shuttle their child to various classes several mornings and afternoons a week essentially paying someone else to interact and "teach" their child and for the child to "socialize". At the same time, they say that socialization at a young age is not important and they are their child's teacher. I can't count how many times I have heard SAHMs say "I am so busy! We have kindermusic on Monday than ballet in the afternoon, Gymboree on Tuesday, etc and so forth" Sure she is busy - busy making sure she doesn't have to spend time at home with her child. Of course, this is the kind of SAHM who will announce she would never put her child in daycare, etc and so forth. I am not saying that this is how all SAHMs are in anyway and the affluence of the area I live in no doubt creates the ability to go to all those classes but it would be nice to meet a SAHM in my area who says "we are going to be busy today - we are going to hang out in the backyard and garden, chase bugs, look at nature, etc".
Well, maybe the people you meet think it is prestigious to announce that their child does these things. But I for one would love to have the money to join these things. I am a part-time SAHM, I work mornings, and ds spends the morning with his Papa chasing bugs, hanging out in the backyard and garden, looking at nature, etc. But I'll tell you what....After his afternoon nap if I don't get him out of the house there's trouble brewing. Also, around here these programs are interactive with their parents.
Just my two cents.
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#103 of 104 Old 06-01-2006, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by CinnamonDeMarco
Is there there anyone who really knows what happens in day care, and things it is great for kids?
I used to have an in-home daycare, I have also used daycares for my children/infants. I do think that if home-life is abusive/traumatizing, then yes, daycare is an awesome option.

I do know that the Daycare Industry in this country needs a serious overhaul.
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#104 of 104 Old 06-01-2006, 07:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by m9m9m9
One observation ~ I always find it interesting in the area I live in that many SAHMs say they would never use daycare yet they shuttle their child to various classes several mornings and afternoons a week essentially paying someone else to interact and "teach" their child and for the child to "socialize". At the same time, they say that socialization at a young age is not important and they are their child's teacher. I can't count how many times I have heard SAHMs say "I am so busy! We have kindermusic on Monday than ballet in the afternoon, Gymboree on Tuesday, etc and so forth" Sure she is busy - busy making sure she doesn't have to spend time at home with her child. Of course, this is the kind of SAHM who will announce she would never put her child in daycare, etc and so forth. I am not saying that this is how all SAHMs are in anyway and the affluence of the area I live in no doubt creates the ability to go to all those classes but it would be nice to meet a SAHM in my area who says "we are going to be busy today - we are going to hang out in the backyard and garden, chase bugs, look at nature, etc".
Hmmmm. I am one of those SAHMs who does outside activities with her kids almost everyday.

There is no way one or two 45 minute "classes" -- with the parent in attendance and right next to their child -- equals daycare. The parent is there to meet all needs and to teach. Kindermusic, etc. don't teach, they help the parent guide the child. The parent is still the authority figure to the child. The adult-child ratio is 1:1.

My girls and I usually spend at least 4-5 hours a day outside. We spend plenty of time watching bugs, etc. We also do one or two "classes" a day. My kids enjoy them, and so do I -- keeps the isolation bug away.
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