I had a "bad parent" moment in a restaurant... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 07:15 PM - Thread Starter
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So we're in a Japanese restaurant in suburbia. Very few people there. I'm so happy that DD is sitting happily in a high chair smiling away, as I dig into my meal. Partway through, she is bored and wants me to hold her, but she's squirming so much...so I put her back in the high chair and in a flash of inspiration I give her a new "toy". It's a tiny bottle of some chili powder stuff. The lid is screwed on tight and the outside is clean. She loves it. She's shoving it in her mouth, waving it around...obviously she's not tasting chili powder.

I'm almost finished my meal, *loving* being able to eat w/out baby in my lap, and DH whispers that maybe I should take the "toy" away.

"WHAAAA...??" what kind of crazy idea is that?, I think to myself. She's happy, if I take it away she'll cry, and I'm almost finished my wonderful meal!

Well, says DH, she is being a little loud. "nonsense" I think to myself, while I slowly realize that DD is banging the bottle on the table. I didn't even really notice, but apparently everyone else did. Just then the waitress comes over and "offers" to take the bottle. I said "actually, she's happy playing with it", then waitress says "well, it's a bit loud"...


So she mumbles something about DD choking on it (which is not only bull but makes me feel like a stupid, ignorant parent letting her baby play with something dangerous)...but I realize afterwards that it's much quieter now. I'm so embarrassed.

I just let my DD bang away on the table, oblivious to everyone else in the restaurant. So excited to eat my own meal I barely gave it a thought!

I turned into one of those parents I *hated* when I was a non-baby-person!!

[it was kinda funny though, right?]

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#2 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 07:19 PM
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that's why we favor restaurants where most people are drunk and loud -- nobody will notice a baby or toddler over that kind of din!
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#3 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 07:35 PM
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yes, that is funny..

kids are kids.. and it's our job to let them be kids.. how loud could she have been??

she had a good time, you got to enjoy a meal.. it's all good

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#4 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 09:23 PM
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It really is amazing what happens after we become parents! We've let DS do stuff that most people w/out kids would just be like WTF are you letting your kid play with, etc. As long as it's safe.

We have to start going to more places with bars-the drunk and loud crowd doesn't hear it or notice! Thanks for the laugh.
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#5 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 09:32 PM
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I think when we become parents, what is loud to someone else is barely audible to a parent. We must preserve or sanity somehow. It is amazing the things I will do in public without even realizing it. My boob has flapped in the breeze more than once at a restaurant because don't realize my ds has latched off.
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#6 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 09:36 PM
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I could definitely see you enjoying your meal, oblivious, because your child is happy & not crying.

I felt the same way you did "pre kids". even now, dh and i rarely go out, i mean rarely. so when we do, the last thing i want to hear is loud kids (thats why we go to the little thai restaraunt close to home, we NEVER see young kids). i am almost ashamed that i feel that way!

however, you happy child was just that happy! those folks would have found something to be upset about....with some folks, just looking and seeing a child enter the restaraunt is enough to set them off. i have had this happen to me!!

we were out to dinner about 2 months ago. a group of older teens came in and sat down. they were loud obnoxious and seriously lacking class, with F this and F that, and some words i never heard and my least favorite the "C" word...c**t. i would much rather have a happy squeeling chili powder banging toddler anyday.

dine with us, ok?
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#7 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 11:12 PM
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You are so funny! Don't feel bad, jus be aware next time! We take Goo out to dinner often and I will dance with her in the restaurant! One place was Lebonese and the owner came out and danced with Goo! It was great! And since she loved the pita there, he gave us a whole package to take home!

I always bring toys and rarely get the chance to eat all the way through the meal without holding her! Oh well..the price of being mom!
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#8 of 12 Old 03-06-2003, 11:24 PM
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Not a bad parent moment. Bad restaurant patron, maybe... but great parent.

Guess which I think is more important.
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#9 of 12 Old 03-07-2003, 12:26 PM
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That is why I tend to pick restaurants that are loud and child friendly, if I pick the right resaturants people normally enjoy watching ds play happily, even if he does get noisy.
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#10 of 12 Old 03-07-2003, 01:51 PM
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I was reading your post and thought the bad parenting moment was going to be when the bottle of chili powder opened up and Emily accidentally got a taste of some. Like the time I ordered a side of avocado for my dd and instead they brought some very spicy guacamole and I didn't notice that it was guacamole. Pretty soon dd has the most awful look on her face and starts crying and screaming. Thankfully the nummies saved the day and dd was fine!
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#11 of 12 Old 03-07-2003, 03:04 PM
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Soooo funny! Welcome to the "other side" - I'm so right there with you!
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#12 of 12 Old 03-08-2003, 02:52 PM
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I'm not a parent yet, but I have to say in restaurants, the main thing that bugs me is crying or loud whining (especially that piercing shrieking kind) - I just have a very uncomfortable reaction to the sound of a distressed kid.

I don't think a happy baby banging on a table would bug me - the kid's reaction when someone takes her "toy" away would.

And, loud, drunken adults bother me the worst. But how often to waitresses go over and ask them to be quiet? :

...the cuties in my avatar are my wonderful, c-section born, fully vaccinated sweethearts...
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