I'm tired...really really tired. A little bit physically, but mostly emotionally.
I'm tired of the emotional and physical energy that being a good parent takes. Today all I can dream about is what it would be like to get in the car, alone, and drive away.
I get breaks, and time to myself...most every day. I go to the gym and the kids go to child care, my husband, God bless him, should win husband and dad of the year, makes the kids breakfast most mornings and spends an hour or so with them down stairs before he leavs for work so I can rest in bed before getting up, or go jogging, take a bath etc. The kids are in bed by 8:30 most nights and we stay up till 10 or 10:30.
I get pleanty short spurts of alone time...but I am craving a weekend (dreaming of a week) of solitude, or even better yet, alone time with my husband. I miss our time together, no worries about kids or breastfeeding or if they miss their momma.
My 3 1/2 year old is as high needs as they come, full of energy and will and spirit and defiance. She litterally exhausts me and makes me want to crawl into bed and cry. She is of course also very loving and caring and enjoyable at times...it is just today is not one of those days.
My 1 1/2 year old is a cuddle bug who loves his momma and wants to be with me all the time. We have been working on night weaning and he is finally sleeping all night most days. I'm so thankful, however, he still needs me during the day, so going away is not an option.
Today has been a paticularly challenging day, the kids were both up at 5:00 and rearing to go, and I am PMS'ing...the baby is cutting 4 teeth and has a gooky eye, we all have allergies...
I just want to run away. I dream of leaving the kids with my parents for a weekend, and my biggest fear is not how they will do with out us for 2 days...it is that I won't want to come home.
Is it bedtime yet???
Only 7 hours to go, then we can wake up and do it all over tomorrow.