What's the most shocking thing you've ever seen another parent do? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 03:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
FrozenMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: The Great White North, aka ND
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
First of all, this has NOTHING to do with the other new thread entitled "Why is it everyone feels the needs to criticize other moms?" I'm not talking about "shocking" as in, Oh My God that baby's in a stroller instead of a sling! I'm talking about things that are so far out there that you wonder what planet those parents are on, but maybe it doesn't quite constitute abuse.

What got me started thinking about this (and this is my Most Shocking Thing!) was last year I was visiting some old high school friends of mine. They had some other friends over at their house as well, people that I'd never met before. While we were all standing around in the kitchen chatting, one of the moms came in with her baby's bottle (the baby was around 3 mo. old), and proceeded to FILL IT UP WITH COKE - yes, that's COCA-COLA - and give it to her baby! My dh and I were just staring at her, trying to believe if we had just seen what we thought we saw. I was so shocked I was completely tongue-tied! :
FrozenMommy is offline  
#2 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 03:26 PM
 
JamesMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Is a PROUD Iowan (finally...)
Posts: 8,167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I watched a woman get into the FRONT SEAT of a car, holding her (approx) 9 month old DD and her DH got in the drivers seat and they drove away! Baby on lap! I called 911 immedietly.

Renae wife to J :, Mama to 4.5y/o J-bird and 2y/o A : and E coming in late Dec/Early Jan. My husband had a living donor kidney transplant! :
JamesMama is offline  
#3 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 03:33 PM
 
Shonahsmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 3,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Shonahsmom is offline  
#4 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
FrozenMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: The Great White North, aka ND
Posts: 128
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by JamesMama
I watched a woman get into the FRONT SEAT of a car, holding her (approx) 9 month old DD and her DH got in the drivers seat and they drove away! Baby on lap! I called 911 immedietly.
I believe Brittney Spears recently got slammed for doing that... she said she was trying to escape the paparazzi...
FrozenMommy is offline  
#5 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:00 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was probably most shocked by hearing this:

"Don't tell me you just had a damned poop! I just put that effing diaper on you. Do you think we're made of money or something?"

yelled at a 16-month-old boy. I've heard others that are almost as bad, but that one probably took the cake. The same child was routinely (as in more than once a day) eating candy already, as well.

(This mom has been investigated. They concluded that her behaviour was because husband drinks too much. He's gone. Her behaviour hasn't changed.)

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#6 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:06 PM
 
maria423's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Illinois
Posts: 506
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was in a store and a mother was yelling at her toddler (maybe around 2 years old), shouting, "Shut the fu*k up! Just shut the fu*k up!" over and over again.
maria423 is offline  
#7 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:11 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
hmm recently (in the last month) I've seen my neighbors on the front porch holding their 5 month old in one hand and lighting a one-hitter (pot) with the other, yelling at their (developmentally behind) 22 month old to "shut the f*ck up!" because he was crying for attention (gee I wonder why he's behind in development) and just last week, as the entire family was outside in the front lawn, the same 22 month old ran out into the street in front of a car because none of the adults were paying attention to him. *sigh*

btw, he's "okay"...well, at least he didn't get hit by a car or anything.
CryPixie83 is offline  
#8 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:15 PM
 
DoulaClara's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: SE MI
Posts: 1,649
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
At a beach in a posh neighborhood ("known for being child-friendly") in suburban Chicagoland last summer- a woman set her too-young to talk barefoot tot onto the burning hot sand (during one of those 95+ days, if you lived in the area at that time!) so that she could put her sandels on, and yelled at him to stop crying when he instantly began to hop up and down, shrieking. She then turned her back on him and deliberately walked away, and he chased her, shrieking more, while she calmly repeated, "Use your words, and stop screaming at me." As I started hoofing it over there to explain to her the concept of temperature and heat exchange, a young woman she was with pointed out the extreme heat of the sand while picking him up. :

That pretty much took the cake.

Clara

Mama to a beautiful little girl, born July 18, 2007
Eager for a VBAC some time around April 10, 2010!
DoulaClara is offline  
#9 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:16 PM
 
UnschoolnMa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Trying to release my cows..Join Me!
Posts: 15,152
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Things like screaming at babies, being angry because the parent has to change a diaper, calling kids names. I never understand that.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
peace.gif  Embrace the learning that is happening within the things that are actually happening!    
UnschoolnMa is offline  
#10 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:25 PM
 
crazydiamond's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Albuquerque, NM
Posts: 2,824
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't call this the most shocking thing, but it did bother me. .

Last week I saw a group of adults pushing a stroller with a newborn in it. That baby was so small, obviously very brand-new, no neck control nothing. That's cool, except they didn't have the baby bucket part. Yup, the baby was just in the regular seat part, where an older child would sit. Even that wouldn't have been a problem had they had the back reclined. That's right, the back was fully upright. . the poor newborn was all scrunched up on the bottom part of the seat with no support or anything. Just made me sad

Mama to Boy (2) and Girl (5)
crazydiamond is offline  
#11 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 04:42 PM
 
mothragirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: neverland
Posts: 3,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
i saw a woman punch a crying baby while it was strapped into a carseat
mothragirl is offline  
#12 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:00 PM
 
Joannarachel's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ware, MA
Posts: 1,530
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Pre-child, I was at a BBQ with a bunch of DOCTORS. There was a woman and her husband there, both doctors, with their ten month old baby. DID I MENTION THEY WERE DOCTORS?!?!?!

When they were getting ready to leave, one of the other people asked how the baby does in his car seat on the way home, and the mother (WHO, IN CASE I FORGOT TO MENTION, IS A DOCTOR), responded, "Oh, he's fine, I just nurse him while DH drives and when he falls alseep I put him in the carseat."

DID I MENTION THEY WERE BOTH DOCTORS?!? :
Joannarachel is offline  
#13 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:19 PM
 
papayapetunia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SE Portland, OR
Posts: 5,137
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I saw a series of shocking events one day, a day that I like to call "My Hell." I ran into a girl that I used to be friends with a long time ago. She had four kids. I had one. We made plans to go to this children's museum. Against my better judgment, she convinced me and dd to ride in their mini-van. So I was trapped listening to Christian contemporary music with a bunch of screaming kids for much of the day. My friend just turns up the music when the kids get loud and she sings along.

But this is all beside the point. She decided to stop at McDonald's, which I don't really do, but whatever. She ordered one large Coke for the 2yo, 3yo, and 6yo to share, along with burgers and fries.

The kids were playing on the filthy disgusting play area, and she called her kids to come eat, threatening them with spankings if they didn't listen right away.

When she finished breastfeeding her 9mo, she started feeding him a burger and gave him sips of the Coke too. Gross.

But then. Then. The kids went to play again, and all I wanted to do was leave. The only reason we got to leave after 45 minutes was because the 2yo peed at the top of the jungle gym. Even though it was pouring down all over the place, she rushed the kids out to the car to leave without telling anyone what had happened.

I tried to fake a headache so I could go home, but she says, "Oh here, I have Advil." I don't remember how I fnally got out of there, but I will never ride in someone else's mini-van ever again.
papayapetunia is offline  
#14 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:25 PM
 
mama_bee's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 777
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ugh. this is almost painful to read. those poor children. i've seen some pretty awful things but one of the worst was a family at our local WIC office. there was a mother and a toddler, perhaps 18-24 months old, and a newborn. the newborn was in a carseat sitting on the floor with a huge bottle of formula propped in front of its face. the toddler reached over, took the bottle, started drinking it and the mom said something along the lines of "remember to share with baby! don't you dare drink it all!" and then snatched the bottle out of the toddlers mouth, put it back in the newborn's face in went on reading her magazine. i can't imagine how hungry those poor children are. that toddler was going to town on the bottle and looked starved.
mama_bee is offline  
#15 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:44 PM
 
mz_libbie22's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,231
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Parents letting their young kids wander around on their own at busy Greyhound bus stations. I just rode all the way down to GA from MN and the whole ride down I was in total shock that at every station there were kids just walking around, no one supervising them AT ALL. And these were big cities, Chicago, etc. One little boy was missing for 5-10 minutes at one because his grandma? left him and his little sister alone to go outside. There was also one mother, who I had the pleasure of riding on a bus all day with, who among other things said: "I'm not going to be your mother anymore" to her 2-3 yr old.

So I had to listen to a CONSTANT stream of that kind of not to mention the sickening sound of kids getting slapped for a good 20 hours straight. I was pretty much ready to :Puke the whole time.
mz_libbie22 is offline  
#16 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:53 PM
Banned
 
~member~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: on a lily pad
Posts: 13,061
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A mom and dad letting their 18 month old drink beer and then laughing at the baby when he was intoxicated. :
I called the police, but apparently it was not a crime, even though the law says giving minors alcohol is punishable.
~member~ is offline  
#17 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:57 PM
 
Amylcd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 4,166
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We were at the park last month and saw a woman put her son who had severe mental disablilites on a swing and pushed him *really* high. He was screaming, crying and begging her to stop and she was LAUGHING, telling him he needed to learn to enjoy it. I could not watch it anymore, so we left

I wanted to go grab that baby and make her stop. It was horrible.

knit.gifMom of Many  jumpers.gif

Amylcd is offline  
#18 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 05:59 PM
 
ameniahsmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Honomu, HI
Posts: 54
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I over heard a woman telling her 3yr old son "stop hitting yourself in the head before I spank you" I thought that was pretty out there:
ameniahsmommy is offline  
#19 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 06:03 PM
 
Amila's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Hellertown, PA
Posts: 2,698
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I interned in DC for the Dept. of Homicide and did numerous ride-alongs with the police in some of the worst areas of the district. In many of the housing projects it was not uncommon for you to see toddlers outside barefoot ALONE wandering around in the middle of the street at 2 and 3 a.m.

Amy, mommy to Ava, 6, Gavin, 4, Lila, 2, and Baby #4 due in early November! joy.gif
Amila is offline  
#20 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 06:15 PM
 
frontierpsych's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Where the other 4999 Bensoners are...
Posts: 6,397
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaInTheBoonies
A mom and dad letting their 18 month old drink beer and then laughing at the baby when he was intoxicated. :
I called the police, but apparently it was not a crime, even though the law says giving minors alcohol is punishable.
Christ! Some people : My dad gets his dog drunk too. Or rather, he just ignores the fact that every time he has a party the dog goes around drinking everyone's beer and tequila if they set their cup on the ground (It's a lot of foling chairs on a patio with no table, so drinks are either in your hand or on the ground.)

Anywho, I've seen some bad parenting out there. Okay, so this was at a Wal-mart in lower Alabama, but nonetheless, there was a toddler (14-18 mo?) running around with a bottle of coke (the bottle was old and cracked and held together w/ duct tape!) wearing only a diaper, which was obviously soiled (sagging and smelly) and absolutely FILTHY! like he had just been rolling around in dirt. He was running around hitting people, and his mom (who looked a lot like Larry the Cable Guy) was yelling stuff like "Yeah, you show that mean man who's boss!" While he hit them. WTH?!?! That just made me think (Okay, THIS is where everyone gets their stereotypes of Alabama from!!!"

I'm a modifiedartist.gif DH is a reading.gif we have 2 angel.gifs, and DS is a rainbow1284.gif baby.gif
frontierpsych is offline  
#21 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 06:33 PM
 
ShelFish's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Happy Valley
Posts: 75
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
When I was in college I worked at the college bookstore as an undercover security guard. One guy we busted had his 4 or 5yo son with him while he was collecting new books off the shelves and selling them back to the store during the end of the semester buy-back. Poor kid had to hang out in the security office while we took the guy's statement ("They're mine! I got them sometime last year from a friend . . . ") and called the police to arrest him. The whole time he was crying and asking, "Daddy, can we go now?"

I later worked in the same store as a cashier and heard a mom tell a little girl (2 or 3) that she was going to throw her in the garbage.
ShelFish is offline  
#22 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 06:56 PM
 
ChrisCountryGirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 431
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
While I was in college, I used the bus transit system. I couldn't believe the number of parents who let their YOUNG kids just wander around & I see parents who repeatedly smack/yell at their kids (even the little ones, like 1-2yrs. old)
ChrisCountryGirl is offline  
#23 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 07:21 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mothragirl
i saw a woman punch a crying baby while it was strapped into a carseat
oh my ... punch??? a baby? wtf? why? and how many people pummeled her afterwards?
CryPixie83 is offline  
#24 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 07:29 PM
 
CryPixie83's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: drifting away...
Posts: 3,163
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, last month at WalMart (my granny gets her Rx there, otherwise I avoid the place) DH and I see this family and one of the kids is about 10 years old and has an obvious hearing/speech problem (wearing a huge hearing aid, and she spoke like a deaf person- you know how they can't hear themselves so they sound different?) Well, the girl is trying to tell her mom something, is obviously excited about it and the mom just says "whatever" in a really nasty tone and walks the other way. My DH just turned to me with this look on his face like he was going to be sick and all we could say was "that was just wrong".
CryPixie83 is offline  
#25 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 07:42 PM
 
sweetangelbrynlie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: America
Posts: 563
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The most shocking thing I have ever seen a parent do was yesterday evening. My sisters husbands brother had his daughter for visitation and was dog drunk and walked 12 miles with his two year old to visit my sister and her husband (this would be this guys brother)

The child is 2 years old and he walked down a dangerous road drunk with her right beside crazy fast cars whizzing by! The police got him, finally found the little girls mother. I still can't believe he did THAT! He has never done anything like this before EVER. He doesn't even drink! I guess he decided to yesterday. I swear he has been an awesome dad until now, he just screwed up badly!!

my kids are 10, 7, and 4. i'm due any day now
sweetangelbrynlie is offline  
#26 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 08:04 PM
 
eminer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,479
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think mine was a woman at the park who was "helping" her son learn to ride a bike. She kept shouting at him, and saying, "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" Dh went over and said something to her, and she ended up shouting for the benefit of the park in general, "This man wants to tell me how to teach my child!"

Oye Yemaya oloto
eminer is offline  
#27 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 08:11 PM
 
Tonia80's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 508
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMG i cannot handle to even read these without feeling the need to cry, vomit and hit someone bvery hard. (and I am an extreme pacifist) I cannot tolerate crap like this and probably would have flown off teh handle if had seen some of thsi stuff in person. Christ, I don't even keep my nmouth shut if I see a mom slap the hand of a toddler. (though I say it nicely) If I saw someone scream at a child or punch a baby.......hoo boy, all bets would be off. Personally I think people liek that need to be treated the same way. The same way I think rapists ought to be locked in a cell with a big guy named Bubba.......
I think parents who have kids naturally ought to go through teh same screening process as adoptive moms. Notthat it would prevent this all but maybe with that and some parenting classes it could help.......
Ugh. Disgusting. I mean, I have had overwhelming moments while dealing with PPD when I found myslef yelling at my children but I caught on real quick how messed up it was and got help. I guess in that sense I can understand how some of these moms snap, though I in no way am excusing it. I just feel so sad for the kids who have to live lik this and assume a certain way of looking at themselves within all of it. as if they really are to blame. So sad.
Tonia80 is offline  
#28 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 08:40 PM
 
Storm Bride's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 27,300
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
A screening process? I've heard that before, but I don't think so. I can't even imagine having a government bureaucracy - and that's who it would be - deciding who is or isn't an appropriate parent. You want to bet that abusive rich people would be given the seal of approval, and lower income breastfeeding co-sleepers wouldn't be? I suspect that saying you weren't going to vax would be enough to lose your permission...

Lisa, lucky mama of Kelly (3/93) ribboncesarean.gif, Emma (5/03) ribboncesarean.gif, Evan (7/05) ribboncesarean.gif, & Jenna (6/09) ribboncesarean.gif
Loving my amazing dh, James & forever missing ribbonpb.gif Aaron Ambrose ribboncesarean.gif (11/07) ribbonpb.gif

Storm Bride is offline  
#29 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 08:44 PM
 
mothragirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: neverland
Posts: 3,332
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by CryPixie83
oh my ... punch??? a baby? wtf? why? and how many people pummeled her afterwards?
i was the only one who saw it. it was when i was 14. the baby had been crying in the store. when i left the store i walked by her putting the baby in the carseat and then she punched it. with a closed fist. then she got in her car and drove away. i just stood there crying, i didn't know what to do. i would handle the situation VERY differently now.
mothragirl is offline  
#30 of 151 Old 06-16-2006, 08:57 PM
 
bohemama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: almost paradise
Posts: 1,080
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
The most shocking thing I've ever seen a mom do to her DD was flick her in the mouth: The little girl (about 3 at the time) was sort of talking back to the mom and that's how the mom "nips it in the bud". Apparently this is something she does on a regular basis when her DD says something that the mom doesn't like.

Sarah loving wife to Scot...joyous mama to...
Emilee and Elaina and our newest addition Elliot Bell 9/15/10
bohemama is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off