A Woman took DS out of his carseat - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 10:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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It's taken me a few days to even be able to write this. I am still just sick, sick, sick over it. But I felt that by sharing this, perhaps someone else would think twice & not end up in the same situation.

On Sat, DH, DD, DS & I were on our way to go shopping. DS has had a heck of a time sleeping--he's teething---& of course he fell asleep 10 min before we got to the store. So we decided to have lunch 1st & then we'd shop. It was a very warm day--around 80* with a touch of humidity. Since DS was asleep, DD & DH went inside the restaurant & got food, while I stayed in the car with DS. All the windows were rolled down, except for his. I ended up lodging a blanket in his window to keep the direct sunlight off of him. I sat in the car with him for awhile & I was warm but not uncomfortable. I chatted with my mom, a friend & I was about to call my sister when DH & DD came out with the food & sat at the outdoor seating area. This seating area was about 6 ft from the car. I had a great view of DH & DD. DH was about to bring me my food but I motioned for him to stay w/DD & get her to eat 1st.

So DH & DD start eating & DD gets a tad bit fussy with DH. I could hear her saying "No I want Mommy to help me". DH looked over at me & . So I knew she was getting into one of her moods & was going to struggle with him.

Here is where I wish I could rewind & start all over. I made a move to get out of the car. I hesitated slightly b/c DS was in the car but I convinced myself "ahh what's the big deal. I'm going to be right here". SO I got out & walked over to the table with DD & DH & helped her eat a bite. I turned around to check the car...No problems. I helped her again & looked at the car...no problem. DH said something to me, I sat down, picked up my lunch & took a bite & helped DD simultaneously. Just then my phone rings---it was my sister. I pick it up & say " hey how's it going"--She starts talking & all of a sudden I notice a security guard by my car. I got up immediately & walked to my car. I asked him if there was a problem. He asks, "is this your car?" I say "Yes". Then a woman next to him says "A woman just took your baby out of the car."---This is where I get : :Puke & start screaming "WHERE WHERE" & she says inside the restaurant---I make a mad dash inside the restaurant & see this woman holding my son. I run up to her & grab him & she tries to move away. I yanked him from her arms & she starts screaming obscenities at me. I can't even remember what she said. All I could think was OMG I have my son in my arms--Thank You Thank You. This woman wouldn't let up she kept talking about how he was sweating & he was soaking wet---he was warm but he was NOT soaking wet. There was no reasoning with her & frankly I felt no need to explain anything to her. I just wanted to get back to DH & DD. As I'm walking out some man comes at me screaming you b*$ch. Don't you watch the news. Luckily DH got in his way of me & DS & threatened him to back off. More could have gone on but I was in such a fog, I can't remember it all. We waited around to see if the police would show up--b/c they said they'd called them--but they never showed.

I am still just :Puke to my stomach over this. I never in a million yrs would have ever thought someone would just take my baby out of my car. Luckily she was just a concerned parent & not some deranged baby snatcher. From her POV she probably thought he was in there for god knows how long. Of course she didn't see any of the open windows or even say anything to all the patrons eating outside. How easy it is for someone to judge you for just a few moments in your life.

I went back & checked my cell phone & from the time I hung up with my friend to when my sister called was 2 min & 51 secs. My life could have changed for the worse in less than 3 min So I hope that by sharing this it will prevent any other Mamas from having to go thru this. You just don't know how quickly your life can change. I am wracked with guilt over this.

Lola , loving my DH, Mama to & we &
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#2 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 10:31 PM
 
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Wow what an overwhelming thing to go through! I hope that sharing it here has helped you process it.
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#3 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 10:57 PM
 
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That must have been a nightmarish experience for you.

I can say that if I saw a baby alone in a car with no adult evidently in attendance, I would have done the exact same thing, though.

I'm so glad it ended well.
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#4 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 10:59 PM
 
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Look at it this way - she thought she was protecting your child from death by car. Around here, every summer brings a wave of dead children, and I have to confess, if I saw your car with your child in it, I'd take him out too, and for the same reason. You probably would do the same. I'm glad everyone is okay.
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#5 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 11:07 PM
 
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about ALL of that story.

so sorry momma and I wish for lots of good to come out of the experience

thanks for sharing!
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#6 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 11:44 PM
 
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If I saw a baby inside of a car WITH ALL OF THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP and it was summer - yes I would get to him and take him out. I would also STAND BY THE VEHICLE with the baby and call the police. I would never just walk off with the baby - that could get ME a kidnapping charge.

If a saw a baby in a vehicle with the windows rolled down I would make sure the baby was ok and watch to see what happend for a few minutes.

I am SHOCKED at the number of people who have already responded that they would actually remove someone else's baby from a vehicle and walk off with them! My word.

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#7 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 11:54 PM
 
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I seriously doubt that I would take him out. But, I would get someone to call the police, or I would call them myself. But, unless it was really hot, and the windows were rolled up, I would just check him for heat related problems.

I also doubt I would say mean things to the mother. But, I might give her a dirty look.

Hey...all's well that ends well.
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#8 of 171 Old 06-19-2006, 11:57 PM
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Wow. Just... wow.

Six feet from the car, and she never asked you if it was your kid, or if you had seen the parents?! Just took off with the kid inside the restaurant?! NUTS!

One time I saw a car parked with a very young child left inside of it, and the windows up. I observed the child, and they weren't sweating bad yet, and they were awake. I stood there with my bike beside the car talking to the very young (under 2 y/o) child for at least 5 minutes before the father came out. He had been buying scratch tickets in the store. He said he could view the car the entire time... but obviously he couldn't. He hadn't seen me standing beside the vehicle talking to his child for 5 minutes. I had peeked inside the store when I first saw the kid in the vehicle and there was noone within view. This was a very busy area, too.

Point is, you don't have to necessarily worry just about overheating by leaving a child in a car, but kidnappers as well.

When I was a teenager I worked at a gas station, and a woman came in to pay for gas, leaving her baby in the car. Somebody tried to steal her car with the baby in it! The woman went running after the car, and when the guy realized there was a baby in the back seat, he jumped out of the vehicle and ran down the street. Scary stuff! And this was in a small town!
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#9 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:26 AM
 
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Originally Posted by a_work_in_progress
Six feet from the car, and she never asked you if it was your kid, or if you had seen the parents?! Just took off with the kid inside the restaurant?! NUTS!
: What a horrible, horrible experience.

Oye Yemaya oloto
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#10 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:29 AM
 
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I am so sorry this happened to your family. I am glad that your Ds is safe with you.

"The true measure of a man is how he treats a man who can do him absolutely no good."
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#11 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:31 AM
 
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Oh wow. Oh frightening. I would've have gotten him, but I would've asked people around if he was their child and called the police if no one spoke up. Hugs to you!

Ali, mama to my amazing Arabella 1/14/06
Newly married to Patrick love.gif Expecting someone new in April!
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#12 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:33 AM
 
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I would not take the baby out of the car, but I would call the police.

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#13 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:49 AM
 
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I would not take the baby out of the car, but I would call the police.
yup

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#14 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:55 AM
 
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What a horrifying experience to go through - for that small amount of time to think maybe your son was gone. And to know that it can happen so fast and by someone who wasn't even trying to be fast or stealthy. Scary.

Mightymoo - Mom to DD (6) and DS (4)
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#15 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 12:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Slabobbin
If I saw a baby inside of a car WITH ALL OF THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP and it was summer - yes I would get to him and take him out. I would also STAND BY THE VEHICLE with the baby and call the police. I would never just walk off with the baby - that could get ME a kidnapping charge.

If a saw a baby in a vehicle with the windows rolled down I would make sure the baby was ok and watch to see what happend for a few minutes.
:
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#16 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:20 AM
 
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I am so sorry this happened. It is awful to have a scare with your kids. I almost cried reading your post.

As for the woman's reaction - I really don't know what I would do in that situation - I might call the police or just open the car door and stay there and wait for a parent or I might have yelled out to see if parents heard me. I don't think I would have taken a baby out of a car and walked away, but if I didn't see you I might have panicked thinking the baby had been there awhile. A few years ago we had the saddest story in our metro area where a mom & dad alternated dropping the baby a daycare and one day the dad was so tired and FORGOT it was his day and left that child in the car at the metro and realized when he got to work. Anyway, I am really glad that it turned out okay.

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#17 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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there is no excuse for removing a child who is not yours from a vehicle and then leaving the scene without informing any authorities. that's called kidnapping. I would have stood by to monitor the baby, perhaps felt his forehead and watched his breathing and after a few minutes if no one came back I would have called the police. I would never have screamed at the mother if she came back, I would have listened to her side of the story first.

however, it's not okay to leave an infant alone in a hot car, even for a few minutes- but I think you know this now. you don't need a lecture. I'm sorry that horrible woman took this situation to the extreme.

DD1 7/13/05 DD2 9/20/10
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#18 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:37 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mightymoo
What a horrifying experience to go through - for that small amount of time to think maybe your son was gone. And to know that it can happen so fast and by someone who wasn't even trying to be fast or stealthy. Scary.
: That's the first thing I thought of. I am so glad your ds is safe.
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#19 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by bri276
there is no excuse for removing a child who is not yours from a vehicle and then leaving the scene without informing any authorities. that's called kidnapping. I would have stood by to monitor the baby, perhaps felt his forehead and watched his breathing and after a few minutes if no one came back I would have called the police. I would never have screamed at the mother if she came back, I would have listened to her side of the story first.

.
Seems to me the woman took the baby inside to call 911. Perfectly logical thing to do, especially if she thought the baby was overheated and/or she didn't have a cell phone. I for one won't villify someone who was trying to save a baby's life.
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#20 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:50 AM
 
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it's a bit of a jump to automatically assume an infant is in critical condition necessitating a 911 call- if you can reach in the window and touch the child and he responds to you by waking and making eye contact, is not panting and as the mother said not soaked in sweat, it is reasonable to assume a parent will be back in a short amount of time and to stand next to the vehicle instead of removing the baby. 911 is for emergencies and there wasn't one yet.

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#21 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 01:54 AM
 
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Wow, I'm so sorry. There isn't much for me to say but I'm sorry and be gentle with yourself, if you are beating yourself up about it.
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#22 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 02:11 AM
 
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Small creatures (babies or pets) in hot cars is such a scary thing. I would definitely take the baby out of the car. In fact, if it was locked I hope I would have the nerve to break the window in order to do so.
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#23 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 02:20 AM
 
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I cannot believe she took your child OUT of the carseat. Couldn't she have just have opened the car door for air and waited for the parent a minute or so? Did she have to be so dramatic? I would have waited by the car for a bit before doing anything.

I once left my children in the truck while I went 3 feet in front of it to talk to my friend who came out of her store to talk with me. My oldest locked the door. And my keys were inside. She wasn't strong enough to unlock it. (old truck with knob locks) It wasn't summer but neither my friend or I could get in the truck.

We called the local fire department and they came and unlocked the car. I am really glad no one gave me dirty looks or called me names or anything. That was five years ago.

I take my keys with me and always keep the windows down, now.
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#24 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 07:40 AM
 
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Less than 3 minutes and she got your son out and inside the building without even asking anyone around if it was their car or baby? She may have been concerned, but she went about it the wrong way. I'm so sorry for your scare.
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#25 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 10:46 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Alkenny
Less than 3 minutes and she got your son out and inside the building without even asking anyone around if it was their car or baby? She may have been concerned, but she went about it the wrong way. I'm so sorry for your scare.
I agree with this. The first thing I would have assumed was that mama was nearby, eating outside very near the car. I would have asked around to see whose car it was (NOT mentioning a baby). I then would have told mama that baby looked a little warm.

If the windows were all rolled up, different story -- I would have yelled loudly, by the car, "Whose baby is this -- he looks very hot!!" -- but that was not the situation.

This woman was looking to create a scene, and did what she did out of righteous indignation, not true, thinking concern.

However, now you know how fast it takes for a baby to be kidnapped. But you don't need a lecture, I know you feel horrible as it is. Hugs, mama. We all make mistakes.
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#26 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 06:20 PM
 
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Six feet from the car, and she never asked you if it was your kid, or if you had seen the parents?! Just took off with the kid inside the restaurant?! NUTS!
: If there is anyone old enough to talk within sight of the vehicle, there is no excuse to snatch the baby without asking them about the situation! She had no right to scare you like that!

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#27 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 06:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Slabobbin
If I saw a baby inside of a car WITH ALL OF THE WINDOWS ROLLED UP and it was summer - yes I would get to him and take him out. I would also STAND BY THE VEHICLE with the baby and call the police. I would never just walk off with the baby - that could get ME a kidnapping charge.

If a saw a baby in a vehicle with the windows rolled down I would make sure the baby was ok and watch to see what happend for a few minutes.

I am SHOCKED at the number of people who have already responded that they would actually remove someone else's baby from a vehicle and walk off with them! My word.
Around here, it would be fatally hot; I assumed the woman took him in to cool him off.
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#28 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 06:30 PM
 
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#29 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 06:31 PM
 
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Less than 3 minutes and she got your son out and inside the building without even asking anyone around if it was their car or baby?
I don't get this, the OP was six feet away and didn't notice someone approaching the car, opening the door, taking her baby out? The woman probably didn't realize that the baby had been in the car alone only three minutes, to her it looked like no one was watching the car, which no one was obvioulsy. While I sympathise with the OP that this was a horrible experience, I do not blame the woman who took the baby out, I would have probably done the very same thing. I am not able to fully understand what exactly is going on, all I see is a baby, alone, in a hot car. I would not be watching and waiting, as I have no idea how long that baby has been in there alone.
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#30 of 171 Old 06-20-2006, 06:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by EnviroBecca
: If there is anyone old enough to talk within sight of the vehicle, there is no excuse to snatch the baby without asking them about the situation! She had no right to scare you like that!
I agree. A child would have to be in truly obvious distress for me to take him out. I probably would have said "Is this your baby? He looks warm!" and waited for the mom to come get him.
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